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The Betrayal Bond

Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships
Narrated by: Paul Costanzo
Length: 6 hrs and 56 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (7 ratings)

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Summary

Exploitive relationships can create trauma bonds-chains that link a victim to someone who is dangerous to them. Divorce, employee relations, litigation of any type, incest and child abuse, family and marital systems, domestic violence, hostage negotiations, kidnapping, professional exploitation and religious abuse are all areas of trauma bonding. All these relationships share one thing: they are situations of incredible intensity or importance where there is an exploitation of trust or power.

In The Betrayal Bond, Patrick Carnes presents an in-depth study of these relationships, why they form, who is most susceptible, and how they become so powerful. He shows how to recognize when traumatic bonding has occurred and gives a checklist for examining relationships. He then provides steps to safely extricate from these relationships. This is a book you will turn to again and again for inspiration and insight, while professionals will find it an invaluable reference work.

©1997 Patrick J. Carnes (P)2017 Tantor

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Get the paper copy

I think this book is fantastic, however part way in I ended up deciding to buy the paper copy as there are lots of tasks and exercises to do and it was much easier to complete them from an actual book rather than audio.

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Excellent and Informative

This book completely understands people who are trying to overcome a trauma bond. It provides an informative not judgemental guide. Thoroughly interesting and extremely helpful.

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Really helpful.

This is a great book on a really worthwhile subject however much of it is in workbook format and for that reason I have also bought a hard copy...its also difficult to listen to and understand these parts as they are repetitive and annoying in the audio version. Perhaps they could have been condensed or even left out? Highly recommend the book though.

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  • Anthony Smith
  • 23-04-18

Great

Learned a lot. Definitely will read again. Very well written and easy to follow. Great 👍🏾

8 people found this helpful

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  • Corinna
  • 08-04-18

Resonates to my core

I have been relistening to capture more. The content has facilitated a paradigm shift within me after a life of abuse, betrayal and trauma.

14 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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  • PhlyGerl
  • 13-03-19

Punch To The Gut

From beginning to end, what was said in this book and revealed to me about myself felt like gut punches and soul stabs. Often accompanied by heavy, deep soul sighs. This book really hit home. Highly recommended! When I got to the parts that required me to complete exercises, I felt anxious. Probably because it was a change from just talking about my misery and made me actually do something about it. The exercises were revealing, relevant, and effective. This book just "gets me". If it wasn't meant for everyone, I would've thought this book was written just for me. I can honestly say I got more out of one listen to this book than the 3 months of therapy I've had since I took FMLA leave to deal with my mental health issues. I only wish I would've found it sooner.

6 people found this helpful

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  • Kimberley
  • 29-03-19

Everyone should listen/read regardless of background

This book was very insightful for many relationships I’ve had throughout life... but most importantly the one with myself. There are all types of problems and issues people are facing and I appreciate how informative it was in that way as well.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Scott
  • 28-11-18

enlightening

enlightening! I learned so much about myself and about the people around me. I am on step closer to ending my betrayal bond.

I was shocked with how much of the book I related to. Especially the fun house reference and setting boundaries.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Nadette Luncsford
  • 02-04-20

Top 3 books for recovery planning

This is a critical book in planning your recovery from an abusive relationship. It helped me to assess the role I have played in perpetuating my own helplessness and formulating an approach to prevent people from taking advantage of me.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Amazon Customer
  • 29-03-20

This book was a life changer for me!

Recently I had been reunited with a person in my past that caused me the rush of "in love" feelings when I saw him. This person was very abusive to me and was baffled on how I could have such intense feelings from someone I know to be violent and narssisstic. A family member turned me into this book and I learned the how and the why and what the feelings were really about. I'm going through healing transformation I never thought possible! If you have ever been hurt by a narssist I highly recommend reading this!

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 19-02-20

great book!

Great content but more workbook style. It's written in more of an outline form. I didn't care for the narrator.

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  • Jennifer Browning
  • 03-01-19

Wonderful progression through healing

This book was relatable, and provides many suggestions to assist in growing past your trauma bonds. It’s a powerful read!

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 27-11-18

Invaluable

As a therapist, I use this book in sessions often. It’s relatable and insightful, teaching us and giving us language in a gentle but clear way. I recommend it often for anyone struggling in relationship.