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You’re Not the Problem

The Impact of Narcissism and Emotional Abuse and How to Heal

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You’re Not the Problem

By: Katie McKenna, Helen Villiers
Narrated by: Helen Villiers, Katie McKenna
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About this listen

The Instant Sunday Times Bestseller & Top 10 Irish Bestseller

'Helen & Katie's advice will change your life. It did mine.' - Kay Allinson, co-founder of Pinch of Nom

This book will show you what a narcissist looks like and how their emotional abuse impacts the lives and relationships of their families.

Many emotionally abusive behaviours from parent to child have become socially acceptable; because they're so prolific, they're normalised. Furthermore, humans often repeat relational patterns, passing the baton of trauma from generation to generation, until someone decides to change things. You're Not the Problem shows you how to recognise these behaviours and realise the profound impact they have had, and still have, and to see the patterns they form in our relationships with parents, partners, friends and colleagues. Using stories and examples from their clinical experience and extensive research, psychotherapists Helen Villiers and Katie McKenna share:

· What Narcissistic Personality Disorder is
· How to recognise emotional abuse in family relationships
· The immediate and long-term impact
· Practical strategies for healing
· How to avoid repeating these behaviours

With a compassionate, sympathetic approach to looking at your familial patterns, Villiers and McKenna show you how to truly break free from these toxic relationships and reclaim your life.

©2024 Katie McKenna and Helen Villiers (P)2024 Hodder & Stoughton Limited
Dysfunctional Families Emotions Mental Health Awareness Parenting & Families Personal Development Relationships Self-Esteem Inspiring Mental Health

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All stars
Most relevant
Having, unfortunately, gained quite a bit of knowledge living with and breaking free from the grip of a narcissistic mother and brother, Helen and Katie have taken it to the next level. Their solid knowledge and experience is condensed in this book. Not a single waffle in the whole book, solid evidence and experiences ...and most importantly help to heal. I will revist the healing section again and again! Well done ladies, you have done so much to validate the hell and spread the word on this nightmare that exists right under our noses. Evil living among us. Thank you for everything!

A new wave of understanding to break free from the horrors of living with a narcissist.

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Just finished and sat here with a box of tissues. If you have survived narcissistic abuse or are supporting someone who has, I am convinced this is the first book to read. It explains, with great compassion, how a person with NPD becomes the way they are and why they treat their children, grandchildren or partners the way they do. A narcissist causes significant harm to others and we know they do so with intent, because they know to hide it (and they do) and they don’t treat everyone the same. They can stop and won’t. It’s not that they don’t love one person and do another. They can’t love anyone in the way healthy people do. People are placeholders for the things they believe about themselves. This book crucially explains why, when you finally understand how damaging the abuse is to you and any children you have, perhaps through long term therapy whilst still in regular contact, you won’t always have your family of birth around you to support you and yours through recovery from the abuse. You won’t be alone though. There are safe spaces, where you will grow new life. Thank you both, I am convinced your work is saving lives. xx

The first book to read to heal or to support someone

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I am in a place of discovering what I have always known deep down, but instead of pushing it down I am bringing it to the surface and facing it head on. This book is so relatable, it helped me find the words I couldn't when it came to understanding my trauma. It is a journey but this book is a real stepping stone in my recovery, I urge anyone who has endured any emotional abuse to read/listen to this book - you won't regret it.

Helped me more than words can say

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This book is so informative and well written.
Very often I found it hard to believe how similar my experience was to the book.
This book has helped me so much with my healing and grief.
I now fully understand what happened to me and the years of self blame are over.

This book will stop you in your tracks

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I just can’t thank Helen and Katie enough this book is quite frankly life changing - everything I experienced from both my parents as a child was not normal and impacted me , and continues to impact me daily . It has been a highly emotional @raw read “ but I now completely understand that It wasn’t my fault and I’m beginning to know I am a good, kind empathetic person - thank you to all concerned from the bottom of my heart ❤️

AFTER NEARLY 60 YEARS

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