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Summary

Brought to you by Penguin.

The number one Sunday Times best seller.

From the UK's favourite therapist, as seen on Channel 4's Grayson's Art Club.

How can we have better relationships?

In this Sunday Times best seller, leading psychotherapist Philippa Perry reveals the vital do's and don'ts of relationships. This is an audiobook for us all. Whether you are interested in understanding how your upbringing has shaped you, looking to handle your child's feelings or wishing to support your partner, you will find indispensable information and realistic tips in these pages. Philippa Perry's sane, sage and judgement-free advice is an essential resource on how to have the best possible relationships with the people who matter to you most.

©2019 Philippa Perry (P)2019 Penguin Books Ltd

Critic reviews

"A wonderful book." (Richard Osman)

"So clear and true.... Helpful for all relationships in life, not just parent-child." (Nigella Lawson)

"A fascinating read on the emotional baggage we all carry." (Elizabeth Day)

What listeners say about The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did)

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Overall a great book

Narration was great apart from the many instances when she is impersonating a baby or child. Every one of those sections are irritating and off-putting. Nevertheless the excellent content is worth enduring those bits.

62 people found this helpful

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Excellent advice but focussed on young children

This is a great book and would recommend for people with babies and very young children, however as my children are no longer toddlers felt the majority had less relevance for me.

59 people found this helpful

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Mostly liked it!

I found this book really helpful. It agreed with a lot of our approaches and gave us some really good ideas to help parent in the present and future!
My only downside was that I found the voices the author was putting on quite cringe worthy and annoying. Especially the children.

25 people found this helpful

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Not For Me

Reading a lot of parenting books at the moment some are much better than others. This book is very judgmental and opinionated about what a parent should and shouldn’t do. I found my self agreeing with bits of the book but then getting irritated at the inflexibility around sleep and rules.
Would strongly recommend a book called ‘how to raise successful children’, much better in my opinion.

88 people found this helpful

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Great book - annoying when doing kids voices

This is a great book with a lot of great advice but the author (who is also the narrator) puts on these weird voices when reading the parts where children are speaking. There is no need to put on these weird over the top cartoonish kids voices. completely takes away from a great audiobook.

29 people found this helpful

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Awful! Don’t waste your time

Clearly Ms Perry either has amnesia and has forgotten how she was as a parent or (though it’s hard to believe) she really was that perfect. The examples she gives of her own parenting style is of a mother who is ‘practically perfect in every way’. In fact, the only true example of poor parenting was on behalf of her daughter’s father (I wonder how he feels about this).

She lives in a fantasy land, where children are allowed endless hours of watching ants on the pavement, never mind that the ice-cream in the shopping bag is melting, the boiler man is due any minute, the food has to be chopped up to put in the slow-cooker and the siblings need to be picked up from school within the hour. She’s clearly never parented more than one child at a time and she has never, from the sounds of it, had work, financial or health concerns while parenting.

Her approach is, in my opinion, building on a generation of snowflakes, who always get their way. I am all for naming feelings and empathising (I didn’t need her to tell me how to do this, I’ve been doing it for years, thanks), but I think children need to learn that the world and life doesn’t always go their way, especially if they have siblings!!

Besides, children grow up and this book is clearly not helping those of us with kids approaching teen years to manage those difficult times ahead…

In short, I learnt nothing and found the whole book very frustrating. Not least her patronising and annoying imitations of children’s voices! Don’t bother with this one.

82 people found this helpful

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Never a truer title!

It’s never too late to read this book. I loved the wrter’s openess and so refreshing that she was the wonderful narrator. Her style is so genuine. I can’t say I regret the parenting decisions I made which she disagrees with but generally her advice is invaluable and I’ve already had wonderful chats with my teenage son and have managed to display my appreciation and live to my normally demanding and oft troublemaking middle son. Thank you!

10 people found this helpful

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Glad I read it - Wish I had read it before!

My son had issues that earned his parents a spot in a course called "Circle of Security". I recognised a LOT of the material and the book delivers it in a great way - much better than the course. I finally "get" it.

Lots of examples. It takes a bit of concentration to use the techniques described in the book but I have managed a few times and it really makes a difference. Previously, if my son was upset about something, I might have tried to point out positive aspects of a situation and thus communicate to him that bad feelings must be avoided. Now I know to respect his feelings and help him describe them. It feels unnatural to me, but it does help.

17 people found this helpful

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Irritating

As a mother of four children with considerable parenting experience behind, do not agree with a lot of what Perry has to say. Her way of narrating grated on me.

6 people found this helpful

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Best parenting advice ever!

I’ve read a few books on parenting and this one is the best! It doesn’t give you tips, tricks and distractions, it give you sound advice on how to connect with you baby, toddler, child etc. How to build a relationship with them and how to understand what they are going through.

19 people found this helpful

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  • Rizzo Giuliana
  • 01-10-19

Informative but weirdly condescending

I thought the idea of establishing a true relationship with one’s children was competently and urgently explained. However, I was put off by the “voices” of parents that the author mimicked in the reading, often with a mocking tone, and by the overly prescriptive suggestions in terms of dialogue and conflict resolution.
I much more appreciated “Hold on to Your Kids”, which similarly focuses on the importance of an authentic relationship between parents and children, yet leaves room for an intuitive approach: not all parents or kids are primarily verbal (or able to communicate as a trained facilitator), and there are countless ways to establish and maintain authentic connection through gestures, physical presence, humor, and so on.

4 people found this helpful

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  • Nilondoner
  • 20-09-19

Great book but at times annoying performance

This books has given me so much food for thought but I really wish the author/narrator had refrained from ‘doing’ the children’s voices. So annoying!

3 people found this helpful

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  • Queen Maeve
  • 05-05-19

Invaluable book!

No matter what age your child is this book provides useful insights into yourself and your child's needs. Really really good.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Thandi Lamprecht
  • 19-03-19

Insightful

I found this book incredibly useful, it’s really helped me crystallise my thought on raising my kids. I loved her way of imparting her knowledge and insight. Great book, I can’t recommend it more highly.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Maria Uglum
  • 30-03-22

babyvoice ruin the experience

Great book overall, except the imitation of a babyvoice when explaining from a child's perspective.

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  • Neli
  • 26-04-21

Great book

I loved it, I think it encompasses all the important things you need to remember when talking care of a child.

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  • lia manesi, corfu, greece
  • 20-11-20

title could not have been more accurate

Worth reading, even if you have no children - like myself, because you develop an understanding of the adults in your life, the effects of the childhood parenting they received, and helping you relate to them today.
Also, the author connects to one straight away, as she's very down to earth and realistic about nobody being perfect, including herself... and yet, will always have an encouraging solution to propose.
Narrator is good, except when she puts on silly voice of someone else talking...

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  • Elizabeth
  • 18-10-20

So many useful tips

I feel like I need to read different sections of this every year. Really interesting listening about lying being a superpower, never would have even considered that!

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  • Anonymous User
  • 18-10-20

Amazing overview of Respectful&conscious parenting

Amazing overview of Respectful & conscious parenting. The perfect first book for parents. I love her voice, but a bit slow, recommend listening x1.10 speed.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Kizzy Petit
  • 02-08-20

Excellent!

I loved the ideas, the exercises, the approach... I think every person, no matter if they are not parents yet, should read this book. It would definitely help them to educate themselves.