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No More Mr. Nice Guy
- A Proven Plan for Getting What You Want in Love, Sex and Life (Updated)
- Narrated by: Dr Robert Glover
- Length: 6 hrs and 49 mins
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Summary
“One of the best books I’ve ever read on men’s emotional health and development.” Mark Manson, author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck and Models.
“I have read every self-help book out there, but this was the first that put everything together in a way that made perfect sense to me.”
“Every page of my copy of No More Mr. Nice Guy is highlighted in yellow. How did you know me so well?
A Nice Guy, according to Dr. Robert Glover, a pioneering expert on the Nice Guy Syndrome, is a man who believes he is not okay just as he is. He is convinced that he must become what he thinks others want him to be liked, loved, and get his needs met. He also believes that he must hide anything about himself that might trigger a negative response in others.
The Nice Guy Syndrome typically begins in infancy and childhood when a young boy inaccurately internalizes emotional messages about himself and the world. It is fueled by toxic shame and anxiety. Rapid social change in the late 20th century and early 21st century has contributed to a worldwide explosion of men struggling to find happiness, love, and purpose.
The paradigm of the Nice Guy Syndrome is driven by three faulty covert contracts. Nice Guys believe:
- If I am good, then I will be liked and loved.
- If I meet other people’s needs without them having to ask, then they will meet my needs without me having to ask.
- If I do everything right, then I will have a smooth, problem-free life.
The inauthentic and chameleon-like approach to life causes Nice Guys to often feel frustrated, confused, and resentful. Subsequently, these men are often anything but nice. Common Nice Guy patterns include giving to get, difficulty setting boundaries, dishonesty, caretaking, fixing, codependency, people-pleasing, conflict avoidance, passive-aggressiveness, unsatisfying relationships, issues with sexuality, and compulsive masturbation and pornography use.
Since the publication of No More Mr. Nice Guy in 2003, hundreds of thousands of men worldwide have learned how to release toxic shame, soothe their anxiety, face their fears, connect with men, embrace their passion and purpose, and experience success in work and career. These men have also learned to set boundaries, handle conflict, make their needs a priority, develop satisfying relationships, and experience great sex.
This process of recovery from the Nice Guy Syndrome allows men to move through:
- Depression
- Social anxiety and shyness
- Codependency
- Low self-esteem
- Loneliness and hopelessness
- Feelings of failure
- Lack of confidence and purpose
- Compulsive behaviors and addictions
- Feeling stuck in life
Contrary to what the title might seem to imply, No More Mr. Nice Guy does not teach men how to be not nice. Dr. Glover shows men how to become what he calls Integrated Males. Becoming integrated does not mean becoming different or better. It means being able to accept all aspects of oneself. An integrated male can embrace everything that makes him unique - his power, his assertiveness, his humor, his courage, and his mission, as well as his fears, his imperfections, his mistakes, his rough edges, and his dark side.
If you are ready to get what you want in love, sex, and life, No More Mr. Nice Guy will show you how.
What listeners say about No More Mr. Nice Guy
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- S
- 23-05-18
Game Changer
I didn’t know what to expect from the book, but it helped me realise who I am and I can make big changes in my life now. A really helpful listen.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Chira
- 03-03-19
Life challenging and outstanding
Written in a way that connects at a deep level. Requires you to ask yourself important questions that truly get to the heart of why certain experiences and interactions have such an impact on us and our behaviour.
This is my second reading and actually pushed to try the activities. It’s always worse in our heads than in reality. I guess if you look in the mirror long enough, you can accept and be happier with what/who you see.
Thank you Dr Glover!
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- simon
- 02-05-19
It’s written about me!
Downloaded this audiobook on a whim. Thought it would toughen me up as the title suggests.
What I found out was truly groundbreaking. It’s like the author has seen right thro me, informing me what makes me tick and tock
Never knew why I did those things, why I felt the feelings I had
Set me on a path to recovery, I know it won’t suit everyone, but if like me you feel a victim in a relationship and not happy maybe it can help, it’s a scary route tho - looking in a mirror and realising i have to change!
S.
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- mr m quate
- 07-01-21
It was like he was describing me.
He told great stories that reminded me of me but I didn't really hear any fixes for the problems he was describing.
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- Mr Patrick Mohan
- 17-08-21
brilliant book for any people pleaser
well written, well explained, good worked examples and simple tasks to help you change. excellent book.
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- Antanas
- 08-04-22
worth the read
originally picked up this book is a recommendation for all men to read. at first I did not agree with the book, but as I progressed there were quite a few things that I picked up and I definitely recommend for all.
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- J LAWAL
- 11-05-22
Changed my mindset
Thoroughly enjoyed this audiobook and I highly recommend it if you are ready to change.
Enjoy
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- Martin R.
- 07-02-23
Very insightful and helpful
I'd prefer slightly less examples and clearer instructions.
A few things didn't make it to the audiobook it seems.
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- Standrd.Deviant
- 18-05-23
Worth reading!
Important food for thought. Not exhaustive & doesn’t spoon-feed solutions, just a great place to start your personal revolution.
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- NC
- 19-03-18
Awesome
Such a useful book. Highly recommend it for any man looking to be more of man.
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1 person found this helpful