The Velvet Rage

Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man's World

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The most important issue in a gay man’s life is not “coming out”, but coming to terms with the invalidating past. Despite the progress made in recent years, many gay men still wonder, “Are we better off?” The byproduct of growing up gay in a straight world continues to be the internalization of shame, rejection, and anger - a toxic cocktail that can lead to drug abuse, promiscuity, alcoholism, depression, and suicide.

Drawing on contemporary psychological research, the author’s own journey, and the stories of many of his friends and clients, Velvet Rage addresses the myth of gay pride and outlines three stages to emotional well-being for gay men. The revised and expanded edition covers issues related to gay marriage, a broader range of examples that extend beyond middle-class gay men in America, and expansion of the original discussion on living authentically as a gay man.

Alan Downs PhDAlan Downs PhDHighbridge Audio

Gay Studies

Gender Studies

LGBTQ+ Studies

Social Sciences

Rage

Mental Health

Inspiring

Thought-Provoking

Substance abuse

Gay Studies Gender Studies LGBTQ+ Studies Social Sciences Rage Mental Health Inspiring Thought-Provoking Substance abuse

Most relevant

I relate to almost every part of this book, as I search for my own authentic life Alan’s stories and knowledge has made me feel that I’m not alone and that there’s hope once we understand the affects that toxic shame has in the life of most if not all gay men. I highly recommend it and it’s no wonder it’s been labelled “the gay bible” by many.