The Velvet Rage cover art

The Velvet Rage

Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man's World

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The Velvet Rage

By: Alan Downs PhD
Narrated by: Alan Downs PhD
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About this listen

The most important issue in a gay man’s life is not “coming out”, but coming to terms with the invalidating past. Despite the progress made in recent years, many gay men still wonder, “Are we better off?” The byproduct of growing up gay in a straight world continues to be the internalization of shame, rejection, and anger - a toxic cocktail that can lead to drug abuse, promiscuity, alcoholism, depression, and suicide.

Drawing on contemporary psychological research, the author’s own journey, and the stories of many of his friends and clients, Velvet Rage addresses the myth of gay pride and outlines three stages to emotional well-being for gay men. The revised and expanded edition covers issues related to gay marriage, a broader range of examples that extend beyond middle-class gay men in America, and expansion of the original discussion on living authentically as a gay man.

©2005, 2006, 2012 Alan Downs (P)2012 HighBridge Company
Gay Studies Gender Studies LGBTQ+ Studies Social Sciences Rage Mental Health Inspiring Thought-Provoking Substance abuse

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All stars
Most relevant
I relate to almost every part of this book, as I search for my own authentic life Alan’s stories and knowledge has made me feel that I’m not alone and that there’s hope once we understand the affects that toxic shame has in the life of most if not all gay men. I highly recommend it and it’s no wonder it’s been labelled “the gay bible” by many.

Overwhelmingly meaningful

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Amazing book, thank u for writing it, i wish you the best, all gay men should read it twice!

Amazing book

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Fascinating and insightful, I wish I read this years ago. I highly recommend this audiobook .

Insightful

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I found this book incredible truthful, easy to read, beautiful narration and well structured!
A big opportunity to explore trauma in gay men and understand how that transformed our lives.

Life changing book

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At times it was very difficult to listen to the truth & pain Alan Downs understands so well about all gay men but I'm glad I kept listening - I feel my awareness about my own struggles has increased significantly. Fantastic book.

Every gay man should read this book at some point in his life

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