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Love Me, Don't Leave Me

Overcoming Fear of Abandonment and Building Lasting, Loving Relationships

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About this listen

Everyone thrives on love, comfort, and the safety of family, friends, and community. But if you are denied these basic comforts early in life through a lack of physical affection or emotional bonding, you may develop intense fears of abandonment that can last well into adulthood - fears so powerful that they can actually cause you to push people away. If you suffer from fears of abandonment, you may have underlying feelings of anger, shame, fear, anxiety, depression, and grief. These emotions are intense and painful, and when they surface they can lead to a number of negative behaviors, such as jealousy, clinging, and emotional blackmail.

In Love Me, Don't Leave Me, therapist Michelle Skeen combines acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), schema therapy, and dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) to help you identify the root of your fears. In this book you'll learn how schema coping behaviors - deeply entrenched and automatic behaviors rooted in childhood experiences and fears - can take over and cause you to inadvertently sabotage your relationships. By recognizing these coping behaviors and understanding their cause, you will gain powerful insights not only into your own mind but also into the minds of those around you.

©2014 Michelle Skeen (P)2016 Tantor Emotions Love, Dating & Attraction Mental Health Personal Development Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Relationships Health

Critic reviews

"[Skeen's] writing is concise and wonderfully clear, with many excellent exercises to give the reader the opportunity to make actual positive changes." (Randi Gunther, author of Relationship Saboteurs)
All stars
Most relevant
Very helpful. Made me understand where some of my reactions came from and how to deal with some reactions.

Very helpful

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After a deeply painful relationship, I decided that I really needed to change the pattern that has been playing out my whole life.
As tough as this book is and the turbulence of emotion that it invokes in you, it is a fantastic read.
It’s not really a book it’s more of a work book as you’re required to journal your thoughts and past situations to help support your learning and growth.
This book has changed my life , as it has highlighted areas in myself that I was unconscious of.
I hope going forward I can put these actions into practice for my future relationships.
I hope whoever reads this gets the support that it gave me
Blessings to all , you all deserve to be loved and not left

Life Changing

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This book explores the nitty gritty behind attachment styles and the behaviours associated with. Don’t listen until you are ready to do in-depth reflection which includes diving into your childhood and relationship dynamics with your parents growing up. This was a great listen which I will always reference in dating but I have hope that my dating life will improve with the insight from this book.

Eye opening

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wish I had this years ago, really enlightening. only issue with it is the last chapter on dating. for one it is heteronormative. the message is "don't date men who have issues with abandonment because they are not perfect, but it is ok for you (women) to be imperfect from your issues of abandonment. where is the compassion here for men to be flawed and for us to work on our issues together? why not include LGBTQ people as the audience?

wish I had this years ago

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this book has given me definitely a lot to think about and has opened my eyes in the patterns we follow without being aware of it. made me view things from a different perspective. also a great narrator.

great food for thought

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