Showing results by author "Mike Baron" in All Categories

Gary Duba’s having a bad day. There’s a snake in his toilet, a rabid raccoon in the yard, and his girl Krystal’s in jail for getting naked at a Waffle House and licking the manager. Gary’s a redneck living in a trailer by the swamp. But he’s got dreams, big dreams. Every time he tries to get ahead, fate deals him a low blow. But then he gets lucky... With his best friend, Floyd, Gary sets out to sell his prized Barry Bonds rookie card to raise the $500 needed for bail. But things always find a way of getting out of hand.

As Gary and Krystal drag Prince Larry and Princess Regan through the mud, a snapping turtle latches on to the prince’s manhood and a debate breaks out on whether to release the video. Will it help or hurt the Royal Ducats? Gary brawls with a man in a bunny suit at Wacky World. Venezuelans use Gary’s property for drug deals. Legendary dadaist Claude Balls stuns the world with his creations. Leotis, a giant Mekong catfish, becomes Gary’s friend and advisor, but only Gary can see the painfully shy Leotis.

Following his newfound fame for apprehending plastic surgeon to the stars and serial killer Dr. Vanderlay Mukerjee, Gary moves back into the five-million-dollar mansion he bought with his lottery winnings. What was formerly Turpentine Acres is now Kensington Gardens, an upscale community that frowns upon Gary's lawn ornaments and Confederate flag.

Josh Pratt is an ex-con turned private investigator. A woman dying of cancer hires him to find the son she gave up as a baby. The child's father is a sadistic sociopath named Moon who has vowed to kill her for abandoning them.

Notorious for their satanic lyrics, drunken excess, and rumors of blood sacrifice, the Banshees shocked the world with their only album, Beat the Manshees. Death stalked their concerts - lightning, stabbings, overdoses. The world heaved a sigh of relief when the Banshees all died in a plane crash. Or did they? Forty years later, with no fanfare, they appear in a seedy Prague nightclub.