Showing results for "Vampire! Vampire!" in Comedy & Humour

Vampires have walked among us for thousands of years. These reanimated corpses survive by draining and consuming the blood of the living, and their threat to humanity cannot be ignored. Throughout the centuries, professors and peasants have offered their own vampire-fighting tips, but these were often old wives' tales, based more on superstition than on fact. Here, for the first time, is a comprehensive vampire-fighting guide for the 21st century.

Timid, socially awkward, and plagued by self-esteem issues, Fred has never been the adventurous sort. One fateful night - different from the night he died, which was more inconvenient than fateful - Fred reconnects with an old friend at his high school reunion. This rekindled relationship sets off a chain of events thrusting him right into the chaos of the parahuman world.

After three centuries trapped underground, thousand-year-old Yulric Bile, also known as The Cursed One, The Devil's Apprentice, He Who Worships the Slumbering Horrors, awakens only to find that no one believes he is a vampire. Apparently he's just too ugly. Modern vampires, he soon discovers, are pretty, weak, and, most disturbing of all, good.

When overweight treadmill salesman Reginald Baskin finally meets a co-worker who doesn't make fun of him, it's his own bad luck that tech guy Maurice turns out to be a two thousand-year-old vampire.

A retro analytical love roast of Buffy The Vampire Slayer and its spin off Angel.

When Fred formed his own parahuman clan out of necessity, he understood that it was going to come with new responsibilities. Much as he hoped those tasks would center around extra paperwork and perhaps the occasional mandatory class, enough time around the supernatural has taught him to be ready for anything. Or so he thought. As a freelance accountant for the Agency, Fred soon finds himself being tossed into new, unexpected, and perilous situations.

Victor Gischler is a master of the class-act literary spoof, and his work has drawn comparison to that of Douglas Adams, Kurt Vonnegut, and Thomas Pynchon. Now, Gischler turns his attention to werewolves, alchemists, ghosts, witches, and gun-toting Jesuit priests in Vampire a Go-Go, a hilarious romp of spooky, Gothic entertainment. Narrated by a ghost whose spirit is chained to a mysterious castle in Prague, Gischler's latest is full of twists and surprises that will have listeners screaming - and laughing - for more.

The Fiendish Comedy Podcast! Season 3: Buffy the Vampire Slayer - The Poorly Read boys get knees deep in your favourite 90's heroine. Season 2: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe/Twilight - The first two books of these best-selling series are given the brutal Poorly Read treatment. With ice cream on top. Season 1: Harry Potter - The magical journey through Hogwarts revisited through jaded, adult eyes…

A unique blend of cheeky humor, quirky history, and self-improvement disguised as vampire lore. How did corpses become sexy? Why do vampires hate garlic? Did you know that everything you’ve heard about vampires came from government paperwork? Or why the earliest vampires hungered not for blood, but beef stew? Learning about vampires reveals what really shapes our world—manipulation. The Motivational Vampire shows us how to spot it from others and fix it in ourselves.

Monster Game Night: Bluegrass By Night - A Vampire the Masquerade Podcast In an alternate world of dark creatures and monsters, a newly formed coterie of Kindred has been recruited to sabotage a sinister cult in a small collegiate town in the bluegrass region. Clear Visions, Gordon, Jason, and Tomaso must try to balance their ravenous hunger, declining humanity, and their excessive need to tell dad jokes at every opportunity to hope for any chance of surviving. Welcome to Bluegrass By Night, an indy dark comedy Vampire the Masquerade actual play podcast. Where the undertones are dark and ...

Immortality Has Met Its Match... Ever since the Ring of Fire, the world's vampires have seen their mortality. They won’t live forever after all — not if the angels who created them decide to snuff them like candles. What do the angels want? What did their command to “restore balance” truly mean? For most, the angels’ decrees mean mass murder and mass turnings … but the humans aren’t sheep, and won’t just lie down and take it forever. As Deacon Maurice tries to maintain order with Reginald by his side, panic consumes the Vampire Nation.

Sarah Wright has experienced no shortage of stressful situations since becoming a vampire, but she’s about to face the most terrifying one yet - being the adult in the room. Nine months into undeath, Sarah’s found her stride. She’s comfortable in her fangs, managing family and school, and relatively content. Treating her parents to a weeklong vacation in Iceland sounded like an awesome idea back in December, but the reality of being responsible for her siblings while they’re away is terrifying.

Angels and Demons, Myths and Legends... It's been six months since Reginald Baskin became a vampire too fat to live happily with the beautiful undead — six months in which Reginald and his two-thousand-year-old maker Maurice have learned that safety does not come with power. These days, Maurice is Deacon of the Vampire Nation, but plenty beneath Maurice are still plotting to depose him … or dispose of him. But when a new and ancient threat rears its head, the Nation faces extinction and the truest of deaths — and Reginald, Maurice, and Nikki might be the only vampires who can stop it.

Two weeks after waking up as a vampire, Sarah Wright is starting to feel comfortable in her fangs. She’s doing okay, if you don’t count wicked mood swings, crushing guilt, and a pervasive sense of existential dread. On the upside, her family is adjusting to the new normal of supernatural in stride, and she’s even testing the waters with a new guy.

After discovering just how filled with magic, intrigue, and adventure the parahuman world of being an undead American can be, Fredrick Frankford Fletcher did exactly what was expected - he became a certified parahuman accountant. Myths and legends, as it turns out, are not so great at taking appropriate deductions and keeping their receipts, and Fred is more than happy to return to a life others view as woefully dull, expanding his accounting business to cater to various monsters.

For Twilight fans and beyond: the ultimate guide to love and sex, vampire-style. Women daring and lucky enough to discover romance with a vampire claim to enjoy the most intense love and sex of their lives. But how do you find a vampire of your very own? And just how do you get him interested in ravishing you within an inch of your life? Will the ecstasy of the coupling be worth the inherent risks of vampire love—the risks of drinking your blood, the risks of secrecy, and the risks of betrayal?

He turns into a bat. Drinks the blood of the living. And never pays income taxes. He's the Vampire Lamar, and since he's come to New England, the body count's been rising every time he rises. But even eternal nightlife can take on a chill without companionship. The unholy fiend-in-need seeks a down-to-earth, flesh-and-blood girl who's his type for a very long-term relationship. But where there are vampires, there are vampire hunters. Unfortunately their stakeout for an eccentric "nobleman" sends them chasing a mortal target named Kent Montana.

Elderflower Tea Shop is next door to Cardinal Woolsey's, the yarn shop Lucy runs and home to the late-night Vampire Knitting Club. The tea shop owners are a pair of octogenarian spinsters and old family friends, so Lucy wants to help clear up the mystery that's keeping their shop closed. But murder isn't the only issue troubling the Miss Watts. A man has come between them. Miss Florence Watt is being romanced by an old flame, one Mary Watt distrusts.

Zwei Fremde, eine Wohnung – ist es Liebe auf den ersten ... Biss? Die Künstlerin Cassie Greenberg hat Geldsorgen und braucht dringend eine neue Bleibe ...

Sarah Wright faces many challenges typical to any college student: tons of work, second-guessing her major, and trying to find time between classes to drink blood. She’s adjusted to her new vampiric self. It’s fun being immortal, despite a mostly nocturnal schedule cutting into her time for friends and family.