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The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant

Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne
Length: 7 hrs and 2 mins
Categories: Young Adults, Ages 11-13
4.5 out of 5 stars (178 ratings)

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Summary

Some people are born boring. Some live boring. Some even die boring. Fred managed to do all three, and when he woke up as a vampire, he did so as a boring one.

Timid, socially awkward, and plagued by self-esteem issues, Fred has never been the adventurous sort. One fateful night - different from the night he died, which was more inconvenient than fateful - Fred reconnects with an old friend at his high school reunion. This rekindled relationship sets off a chain of events thrusting him right into the chaos of the parahuman world: a world with chipper zombies, truck driver wereponies, maniacal necromancers, ancient dragons, and now one undead accountant trying his best to "survive". Because even after it's over, life can still be a downright bloody mess.

©2014 Drew Hayes (P)2015 Tantor

What members say

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

The funniest accountant ever written

Despite the title, this is a highly amusing little tale about 'Fred the Vampire', a rather unfortunate accountant who finds himself dealing with situations that he is rather less than thrilled or equipped to encounter. A delightfully funny and light-hearted story matched perfectly by Mr Heyborn's narration. Certainly one for the bookshelf.

7 of 7 people found this review helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

really very interesting

should be noted that this is a collection of short continuous stories which can get annoying since there are recaps at the beginning of each story once you get past that though what you have is an interesting, funny and charming story with lots of cool lore highly recommend

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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hope there are more of Fred's adventures.

A fun read. great for relaxing with. I hope there is more to come from this author.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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unexpected gem

slow going at first but great, action packed and full of fun and humour. would definitely recommend to sci go and comedy fans

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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    1 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars

Disappointing

Great story idea, but the telling is boring repeatative and a struggle to get through.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

A bit of harmless fun

I can't imagine it will win any major literary awards, but Fred the Vampire Accountant is a pleasant enough read/listen, so long as you aren't expecting Dickensian social commentary or even three-dimensional characters. Like NPCs, Fred frequently makes good-natured fun of people who play role-playing games but, unlike NPCs, Fred doesn't have the same philosophical insight. Although the book is a continuous narrative in one sense, it is divided into separate chapters that could almost stand alone. This leads to a certain amount of repetition.

Fred is competently read, although the voice of Fred because decreasingly nerdy over time -- I have no idea whether this is intentional or not.

Fred was worth spending a few hours, but I'm not sure I will be buying the other titles in the series.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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    3 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars

Very apt title

What did you like best about The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant? What did you like least?

Best:* Good language* No crude humor or content* Interesting title.Least:* There is no overarching story. Just a set of disjointed episodes.* The "episodes" I find largely unengaging.* The title suits the book, I feel.

Would you ever listen to anything by Drew Hayes again?

No

What three words best describe Kirby Heyborne’s performance?

Matches the voice our mostly wimpy hero would have quite well.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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Fantastic

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

Definitely, if they were into sci-fi/horror and comedy.

What was one of the most memorable moments of The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant?

Without wanting to spoil anything.... would have to be the story where he takes down the necromancer cosplayer!

What does Kirby Heyborne bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you had only read the book?

Without trying too much (as in, overplaying it to the point of cringeworthiness), he clearly separated the characters' voices and emoted well.

Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

Yes, if I had the time!

Any additional comments?

Just an all-round meta-humorous take on the modern vampire story. Really funny in a dry way. Interesting characters and great world-building.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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    3 out of 5 stars
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Shaping up to be a Great series

Would you try another book written by Drew Hayes or narrated by Kirby Heyborne?

Yes, the writer is amazing. The stories are very indepth and makes you fall in love or hate with the characters (Based on multiple books not just this one)

Do you think The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant needs a follow-up book? Why or why not?

Already has and hopefully it will be longer and not leaving you hanging too much

Any additional comments?

This book is a great start to the series, based on other books I felt that this was a longer book cut into chunks. Would have prefered id to had been longer the 8 Hours seems flow nicely but the end seems to be rushed where they cut it to make way for the new book

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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Far from uninteresting or unadventurous.

As usual, Drew takes the Genre seriously enough to make it come alive while playing with amd sometimes upending it's conventions.

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Profile Image for sherri
  • sherri
  • 18-09-16

Fun for a While

I was delighted with the opening story but wasn't happy to discover this is a compendium of linked stories rather than a novel. There is a bit of overall plot and character development through the book-- i.e. Fred discovers hidden talents-- but the same narrative arc repeats itself in each story to such an extent that they become predictable. The book was saved by a nice twist at the end, making it an overall fun experience but frustrating because it could have been better. The repetitive background explanations were not even edited out of each story.

58 of 60 people found this review helpful

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    3 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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  • Sugarpucker
  • 10-08-15

Stories are great, not crazy about the format

This book is deftly summed up by its title. The stories are pretty good. The premise is interesting, all the characters are great. There is also pretty good plot and character development despite one major flaw. This is essentially a collection of short stories in chronological order. This format is problematic because it interrupts the flow of the story. Additionally, you get a recap at the start of each story. This is the most annoying bit. Recaps are great when you waited a long time for the next installment to come out, but when you are listening to them consistently and consecutively, the recaps get a little tedious. Otherwise it's great. Despite this, I will probably pick up the next installment when it comes out on audible. It wasn't enough to turn me off completely. If the next one is like this, however, I may not continue. Kirby Heyborne is spot on in his narration, no problems there.

192 of 203 people found this review helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Greg Hill
  • 25-09-15

Utterly Awesome!

I thought I had had just about enough of vampires. I've been doing the vampires thing since the early 90's with White Wolf games, and Ann Rice novels. I thought I had seen it all, and I was surely not going to be sucked in again. No, not me. No one else was going to beat that undead horse on my dime. Then Drew Hayes released a damn vampire book.

On the strength of his other titles, I eventually gave in and got it. It's not my favorite Drew Hayes novel, but it might be my favorite vampire novel.

Fred is a great character, easily fun enough to excuse his being a vampire, and his scooby gang of friends expands with each tale, and they are all really cool. Each of them shows off that Drew Hayes knew what he was doing, sucking us in with the most tired, cliche of the big ticket monsters and then blowing socks off with his interesting take on the rest of the supernatural zoo.

83 of 90 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Aaron Brown
  • Aaron Brown
  • 21-03-15

Loved the title...but this was riveting...

I almost didn't get this book. I listened to NPCs and found it clever and fun and that brought this one on my radar. The title sounded amusing, but it also sounded like one of those stories that would lag after the initial idea wore thin (a Vampire Accountant). But the author did a good job of continually adding a colorful cast that kept it fresh. Plus Fred the vampire stays true to his mild mannered roots and never loses his appeal. The author stays away from the temptation of turning Freddy into a badass and making him like every other vampire anti hero out there. If you have a sense of humor you will enjoy.

80 of 88 people found this review helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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  • Diana
  • 09-03-15

Entertaining, story of a mild-mannered vampire

that wears sweaters and loafers.

This is, apparently and confusingly, a set of stories in series, that adds characters with each episode and spends some time reviewing and reintroducing and reminding the reader (listener) about previous events. The author and editor would have done well to just smooth all that out - it would work fine for "story time" at a school, but is annoying for an adult reader.

And, there is another bit of confusion here. The story could easily be made for children or young adults, except there is a bit of adult language in there, and at the end of the last story the author (as if afraid this was going to end up being a children's book) was heavy handed with foul language.

The characters Drew Hayes created are wonderfully imaginative and very 3-D, described in detail and with interesting personalities, gifts, and histories. The plot is adequate in getting the characters out and about and into and out of situations and interacting with each other.

It's almost as if these stories were published before they were given more time and effort and with a couple more drafts of work by the author with a good editor demanding *more!* this would have been a great book.

It was still enjoyable, even though flawed. Entertaining, and unfortunately due to the language, not recommended for kids.

39 of 47 people found this review helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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  • K
  • 06-08-15

A light, humorous detour through the paranormal

Fred, the Vampire Accountant reads more like a collection of short stories, or perhaps it would be better compared to a television series. The characters are an interesting lovable bunch, and it plays like a series with everything wrapping up at the end of each tale, but with tidbits hinting at a long overarching story. I don't think it will ever win any awards for complexity, but Fred, the Vampire Accountant is a pleasant listen that will make you laugh. There seems to be plenty of set-up for a second volume, and I enjoyed this one enough to look forward to a sequel. As a final note, I will say Kirby Heyborne (the Narrator) seemed especially well suited for the main character.

21 of 25 people found this review helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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  • Claudia H
  • 21-10-15

Friendly Fred's Diary

When Fred, a quiet and somewhat anti-social CPA, unexpectedly becomes a vampire he expected to have the dramatic and sexy life that vampires in movies get, but he wasn't so lucky, or was he? Each tale of Fred's life is told via Fred's diary.journal entries, sometimes with the assistance of other people in his life.

I thought this was a lighthearted easy listen. You get to enjoy a new perspective on being a vampire that is less scandalized then the usual way they are portrayed. The only problem that I really had with this story, was that each story started by reiterating the same information (i.e. how he's now a vampire, and an accountant). This allows each story to stand alone, but is slightly less appealing when listening to them all consecutively.

12 of 14 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars
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  • David W Cochrane
  • 29-05-18

Too much of a good thing.

Starting out this was a highly entertaining set of short stories. Great premise. Wonderful main character. Interesting secondary characters. Also masterfully performed by Kirby Heyborne.

Perhaps if one takes this in small doses it would be tolerable. It was too repetitive. The main character's constant reference to his foibles became tedious. Yes. He is not the cinema's ideal vampire. We got that the first time. And the second time. Third time. Etc.


"Hell is repetition." Andre Linoge. Storm of the Century by Steven King.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars
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  • Erin D.
  • 20-06-17

Truth is in the title

It was a struggle to finish. The narration was almost monotone. The story is unremarkable. Not a lot to make it a very compelling recommendation.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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  • Calliope
  • 05-02-17

Light and fluffy - a supernatural beach read

This is really rather light and fluffy - fun but unmemorable; a supernatural beach read. Fred is a vampire who maintains the milquetoast, nerdy personality he had in life, even though his physical self has changed (he still wears glasses - not because his vampire sight needs them, but because he's gotten used to them as a part of his personality). He encounters other "parahumans" to befriend (including a teenager zombie and a were-pony), gets a hot girlfriend (natch) who was a nerd like him in high school, and has various adventures with werewolves, dragons, and jousting competitions.

The format is a series of short stories or novelas that build on each other, but each begins with a small recap reintroducing some of the characters or events. Not that big a deal to me - kind of like the "last week on X" episode recaps on TV shows.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful