Showing results for "The Dead" in Humorous

In the distant past, a time of magic and swordplay, there lived Harold, the mightiest lich of all, a master of arcane sciences, and a challenger of gods. After reaching the pinnacle of his power and finding it surprisingly bland, Harold waged a cataclysmic war against the gods, aiming to shatter the very system that confined him.

Every self-respecting lich has a few hundred phylacteries at a minimum, and Harold wants to check in on a few thousand of his. Rumors reach him that the vicious Mantis Queen has one of them. Naturally, she's at the other end of the region. It's just a casual stroll across the deserted and inhospitable Flaming Steppes. Inhospitable for the living, that is!

You meet the most interesting men in medieval prisons. This one time, I met a guy who offered me immortality for the low, low price of changing my diet. I didn’t read the fine print. Because, he wasn’t talking about a gluten-free diet. More like hemoglobin-full. And now, I’m a friggin’ vampire with five centuries of pop culture references.

In the distant past, a time of magic and swordplay, there lived Harold, the mightiest lich of all, a master of arcane sciences, and a challenger of gods. After reaching the pinnacle of his power and finding it surprisingly bland, Harold waged a cataclysmic war against the gods, aiming to shatter the very system that confined him. He took a nap, but he is awake once more.

December 1874. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are looking forward to a traditional Christmas with plenty of food, alcohol, and the odd duel. But then Death meets Elizabeth, a young girl with unusual gifts, who needs their protection. When other children start going missing throughout London and the Prime Minister himself asks for their help, they have to put down the brandy and mince pies to solve the mystery while—as usual—saving the world from an unspeakable horror.

Newberry is thrilled to host the highly anticipated convention for the cult hit TV show, Detective Dracula. Local businesses are booming as fans descend upon the quaint town to witness the reunion of the beloved cast. The excitement quickly dies when the star of the show chokes to death on the cherry of his signature cocktail. It seems like a tragic accident—until his ghost communicates otherwise to resident psychic Mia Thorne. Too bad he can’t identify the culprit.

In the second book in the Dead Jack series, the zombie detective hits rock bottom, bingeing on fairy dust and formaldehyde 24/7. Reluctantly, he sets out with a fellow zombie, the narcissistic Garry, to find his long-lost soul. But a new threat emerges: a neo-Nazi group that hunts down the depressed corpse, believing his sidekick Oswald has the power to capture all the souls in Pandemonium. Again, the wicked world needs saving, but this time can Jack also save himself?

The only location for millions of souls is Limbo, an ever expanding sphere of metal no longer deep under the Swiss mountains. Death itself is on hold and something must be done to stop the tide and avoid the final endgame. John Hewson will yet again be drawn in to the battle to save humanity. It's third on his to do list behind finding the other parts of his soul and removing an ever increasingly paranoid pigeon.

Saved by Duke Kinson, Morgan found a new life in the world of Dunnishire. Orphaned as a young teenager, he found himself in a new world where making friends was easy. That all came crashing down the day he turned sixteen and found out he not only had a death affinity, but was also a necromancer. For a time, all necromancers were put down before they could gain levels or power.

San Diego's zombie prince, Simon, may be long dead, but his descendants are still around and kicking, and one of them, his great-great granddaughter, just went missing. Now, Simon wants John to track her down. John has never worked across state lines before, but clearly that's going to change.

After his service to the duchy, the capital city has come to a reluctant acceptance of Morgan Lovecraft. More and more he's finding that people react more to the fear of what he could do rather than what he actually did. All Morgan wanted was to finish his time at the mage's academy but it seems his life as a student there is all but over after fate stepped in his way. Many revelations and tribulations, allies, and enemies are waiting for Morgan when he decides to continue playing A Game of The Dead.

Morgan's elevation to the peerage came with costs. He was tasked to find Jerek, the Master Assassin, and eliminate the threat, hunt down the bloody tentacles, and get a handle on the demonic incursions into the underground. Sounded like everyday work for The Duchy's Necromancer. With the Blackman house razed, Morgan must make some decisions on what to do and how to move forward with his house and his new housemate. Deciding the best way to keep Missy Blackman safe was to help her become stronger, they set out to do that.

In this fast paced sequel to The Everything Box—the second entry in New York Times bestselling author Richard Kadrey’s comedic supernatural series—chaos ensues when Coop and the team at DOPS steal a not-quite-dead and very lovesick ancient Egyptian mummy wielding some terrifying magic...

Sookie Stackhouse hat nur mit einem Vampir freiwillig Umgang, und das ist ihr Geliebter Bill. Aber er ist in letzter Zeit so distanziert - und außerdem in einem anderen Staat. Sein finsterer, unattraktiver Chef Eric hat eine Idee, wo er sein könnte. Ehe sich Sookie versieht, ist sie in Jackson, Mississippi, um sich in der Unter-Unterwelt des Club Dead umzusehen. Das ist ein gefährlicher kleiner Laden, in dem sich die elitäre Vampirgesellschaft trifft, um auszuspannen und sich einen Schluck Null Rhesus Negativ zu gönnen.

Old Man's War author John Scalzi's sendup of the heroic fantasy genre, a finalist for the Hugo Award for Best Short Story. An over-the-top, humorous short story representing the prologue for a "future" book (written as an April Fool's Joke) published on Tor.com. The title of the series and book...

The man couldn't help himself. His captor was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her powerful eyes held his attention and made him forget that she had him confined in a basement, his hands and feet bound with duct tape. She fed him when he was hungry and kept him alive for the telling of her horrific tale. After getting past the terror and discomfort, he reasoned that there was nothing to worry about for the moment.

Chris works as a chauffeur, not a grim reaper, for Purgatory Enterprises. He works within the moment a person dies, creating memorable, enjoyable and, above all, compassionate experiences. And why does he do this? Because he wants to get into Heaven, and his place in the eternal afterlife is decided by the score he receives on customer feedback scorecards.

When a long-forgotten book finds its way into the hands of Mullentide’s most magical family, Alden’s epic journey home begins. What was meant to be a tool to save the innocent from being sacrificed backfires. Fire, blood, and vengeance will flow as Alden is ripped away from his family by a madman desperate to fulfill a centuries-old plot. Enter a brutal fantasy world of magic, vicious monsters, and friendships forged in hardship. When doing what’s right threatens to take everything from him, what will Alden sacrifice to see his wife and daughter again?

Dean Robinson, Seventh Deacon of the Seventh line, found God. Literally. He was sitting in the basement reading a newspaper. It was awkward. With a little help from the Big Guy, Dean and his wise cracking crew of supernatural sidekicks managed to snuff out Lucifer’s misguided angel mutiny before it unleashed a giant sized can of whoop ass on mankind. Cool.

One man’s angel is another man’s devil. Well, it’s official. Strange times are afoot for mankind. The Anunnaki, an ancient race of malevolent über angels banished from Earth by God himself at the beginning of time, are back. And much to God’s chagrin, they came by invitation. While Dean Robinson and Erin Kelly, everybody’s favorite arcane power couple, had good reason to extend that invite, they sort of kicked off a cataclysmic series of events in the process. Bummer.