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Summary

My name is John Cook, and my life began the day my heart stopped beating.

You meet the most interesting men in medieval prisons. This one time, I met a guy who offered me immortality for the low, low price of changing my diet. I didn’t read the fine print. Because, he wasn’t talking about a gluten-free diet. More like hemoglobin-full.

And now, I’m a friggin’ vampire with five centuries of pop culture references.

Granted, at the time, I was listening to the dying screams of my mother and father being burned and eviscerated alive just outside the rusty bars of the prison cell, and my new best friend was offering me my only real chance at saving my own life and avenging my parents’ murderers - some day.

Except, my first chance at vengeance took about 500 years, and I had to wade through oceans of sin and violence, blackening my soul - and my already dark sense of humor - beyond redemption until I met Father Thomes, a Roman Catholic priest, in present-day Houston.

Papa Thomes taught me how to use my dark curse to fight for the good guys. Like Alfred and Robin did for Batman - except we straight up murder Jokers and Two-Faces.

Biteman and Pope’n.

We stand up for the downtrodden, the forgotten, and the neglected.

By ex-sanguinating the wicked in horrific, truly imaginative ways and having a grand ol’ time doing it. You know what they say about doing what you love...

But our party is soon cut short when we learn the End of Days is just around the corner, and that the fine print of my contract might have hidden a few other tidbits. Like the fact that I was central to kicking off the apocalypse and that the archdemons will stop at nothing to make sure the dude abides by the terms of his contract.

I guess I need a lawyer.

Get ready to laugh at extreme violence. I know I will. If you’re not laughing, you’re learning.

©2019 Hunter Blain (P)2019 Hunter Blain

What listeners say about I’m Glad You’re Dead

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Profile Image for Collin Baker
  • Collin Baker
  • 22-12-19

Gory Damn Fun Romp Through Time

A blood-filled adventure through both history and the inner workings of a vampire who, after a long time, is still figuring things out. A well written story with a phenomenal narrator to bring it to life. Would recommend to all unless you are opposed to violence, jokes and and all-round good time, you know, the people no one likes.

10 people found this helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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  • Summer Riley
  • 20-06-20

If Dead Pool was a Vampire....

This book was a pleasant surprise! Truly entertaining and Im really looking forward to starting the next one! Lots of laughs and kick ass monster fights but also really endearing and sweet. The back and forth between past and present was done really well and gives the reader a good glimpse into Johns past and the demons that haunt him even still. The other characters are just as interesting and can’t wait to see what happens next!!

7 people found this helpful

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  • Brynn Kemp
  • 01-03-20

Best not so good guy Hero book

I love this book. I won't lie, some parts are so descriptive and horrific, I found myself cringing. Other parts had me laughing out loud regardless of my surroundings. I have now listened to it twice and am reading #3 while not so patiently waiting for the Audible edition. I can promise, I'll be reading them all.

6 people found this helpful

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  • EMPIREriot
  • 27-02-20

Friendly neighborhood vampiric wiseass.

So I enjoyed this very much! I have discovered many books because I greatly enjoy Luke Daniels' narrations and this is my first Hunter Blain book. I thought this was a lot of fun. John (the main character) is.... the best way to say this is if Dresden had a vampiric offspring with Deadpool. Without spoilers... he is a friendly wiseass. He is far from perfect, but he means well. He has flaws... might make a mistake but he is... or well was only human. I'm a HUGE fan of the Dresden series by Jim Butcher so I feel like this has a similar feel. You get a great sense of who he is.... who his allies are... and a part of the world. It's really entertaining and I can't wait to hear more!!!! Thank you to you both!

6 people found this helpful

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  • richard henney
  • 26-06-20

warning do not eat while listening to this book

This book is amazing,funny and beyond entertaining. Half way through book 1 I went and bought the rest of Hunters book.

3 people found this helpful

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  • Rodney Harris
  • 19-09-20

Story

Good story, love the characters and pretty funny. Jon is a trip lol Highly recommend.

2 people found this helpful

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  • Jeff
  • 13-11-20

another great book

Luke Daniels is amazing, the story made me laugh, shocked and cry. can't wait for the next book.

1 person found this helpful

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Profile Image for Christopher
  • Christopher
  • 27-10-20

Pretty good, but hopefully the following ones will be better.

I wouldn’t say that this is a five star book, but it’s a solid 4. If you were a fan of the Iron Druid Chronicles then the first book in this series will likely feel familiar. Obviously, Luke Daniels’ narration helps to push the audiobook in this direction, but the MC might be bit like the darker, vampiric cousin to Atticus/Sheehan O’Sullivan except with a penchant for movie quotes. Having not listened to the rest of this series I hesitate to make a qualitative comparison to the Iron Druid books. Certainly this first book in this series didn’t engender the warm and possessive feelings that I feel towards the characters in Kevin Hearnes’ books. To me it seems that this book is missing several hours worth of content that should have been included in order to make any of the supporting characters be more than props. And I think it’s this that made what could have been a 5 star book end up as just a solid 4. . It was somewhat disorienting. I assume that in the proceeding installments the other characters will get more fleshed out, but I think it was a mistake not to spend a bit more time to establish them here. There were also a number of places where I had to double check that I hadn’t skipped a chapter because characters and situations were just there all of a sudden without the setup you’d expect or the story would move on without the resolution or proper segue into the next scene. As a result this book felt like a fun but quick ride... like a good airport book that you can start in the cab and be done with by the time you you get to your hotel. As such I’ll probably buy the next audiobook in the series at some point, but I’m not in a huge hurry to get to it. That said, I think for the average listener (who doesn’t consume upwards of 15 ebooks and audiobooks a month) this book will be worth the credit... If I do end up listening to the rest of the series I’ll try to come back and add an update to this review to let you guys know whether the following installments solve the issues I had with this book.

1 person found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • George William Abel Jr
  • 22-10-20

Very entertaining

The narration was great. This is a fun book to listen to. The main characters are put together well. This is a 10 out of 10 audiobook. I will be buying the whole series,

1 person found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • spicyringlets
  • 08-10-20

Entertaining and Exciting

This book was fun with its sarcastic and sometimes spastic main character. Even in the most serious moments, he added a little humor. There was plenty of excitement and intrigue to keep me interested the whole time. The narrator did a perfect job! I usually gravitate toward female main characters and stories with a little romance, but I thoroughly enjoyed this book! I'm interested to see what happens next!

1 person found this helpful