Showing results for "Slice" in Humorous

Our weapons manufacturing business was improving by the week, and we had more money than we knew what to do with. I kept steadily leveling up, and Blerg finally finished our racetrack. It seemed that all of these dreams of ours were finally becoming a reality. We even had time to start planning our wedding! That was as exciting as it was emotional. But then we learned that more refugees were going to be joining us in our Protection Zone.

Kain Asheld put a marker to the three people closest to him on a quiet ridge overlooking the valley where they'd always promised to meet. His brother Mark never wanted the mercenary life. He wanted to farm. He never got the chance. Kain bought the land with his share of a final bounty and a desperate need for silence. The locals call it Madder's Place. Ten acres of rotting floorboards, a collapsed roof, and fields the wild took back a decade ago. They'd been talking about burning it down.

The four rules of freelance villainy are as follows: 1. Always wear a mask 2. Never hurt civilians 3. Never kill the heroes you’re paid to fight. 4. And the bad guy always loses. Victor, better known as the super villain Magneron, always played by those rules. He fought the bad fight, got beat, and got paid. And that worked well for him and the many women who loved him. What it didn't work for was the Guild of Villainous Foes, the premiere bad guy organization on the planet!

I came to the guild to keep it from tearing the realm apart. Now I’m covered in wolf hair, running errands for meddling gods, and down one tunic, thanks to a tiger’s claws. My nerdy assistant keeps a calendar that could run an empire. The clingy wolfgirl has no concept of personal space. And the shy bunny alchemist? She’s gone maniacal, one experiment away from blowing the roof off. They’re expert hunters. It’s life in the guild that’s the real problem. Every day tests my diplomacy, my strength, and my willpower…and that last one’s running dangerously low.

After surviving a harsh winter, Eli finds himself in a unique situation when a long-lost dungeon is discovered on the property. It could be the perfect proving ground for the students who have earned their Class, but it could also become their tomb. It also doesn't help that the town of Last Stop is in danger. The Edgelands are creeping in and gobbling up entire cities overnight. With nowhere else to take the children, it's up to Eli to come up with a solution to both problems that only a Master Enchanter could accomplish. With the love of a few good women by his side, anything is possible.

Ever since James Lyle found an alternate dimension hidden in the stairwell of his workplace, things have been, well, weird. For one thing, when he’s not working the night shift, he’s battling killer mail carts and ravenous swarms of sticky notes. For another, he’s dealing with some very complex and intense emotions for several of his friends. Meanwhile, his parents have offloaded his younger sister on him. As if all this weren’t enough, James’s voyages into the dungeon world seem to be having a strange effect on the world in which he actually lives.

Deep in the elbow skin of the Fae Wilds, far from the teeming fortress of the Goblin King and the glittering palace of the King and Queen of the Elves, there lies a forgotten hideaway of crumbling single-wides and rusty Airstreams. A lonely clan of beautiful women, clad in tube tops, overall shorts, and tacky Asian-print house-dresses, yearn for a man who can unstop their sewer lines and get the internet working again.

I was having the perfect day when I suddenly found myself on the wrong side of an interdimensional portal. Instead of a weekend in wine country, I wound up in a trailer park that seemed stuck in the 1980s and filled with... goblin women? By the way, since when are goblins real? And why are the women so hot?

Half-elf Lira is eager to return to The Tusk & Tail Tavern, where she and her companions set off on their adventures many years ago. But the rundown tavern is no longer the bustling hub where dwarf mercenaries and halfling farmers shared pints over a friendly game of dice. More crucially, what Lira came back for—what she buried in the tavern’s basement—is now bricked over.

With the cliffhangers from book five hanging over his head, and his tattooed, tube-top-clad crew of girlfriends planning the most trailer-park of all trailer-park weddings, Colton Winchester has only 48 hours to save the Fae Wilds and get to the altar in time.

He wished for an early retirement. He got a curse to break, and a maid who watches him sleep. With his seer powers fading, Gerald left the guild and bought a cottage in a far-off town. He didn’t expect to find a demon in a maid’s dress, bound to the house and eager to please. Now his days are spent fending off her dreadful cooking, keeping the wine out of reach, and admiring how her tail lifts her skirt at the washbasin. Meanwhile, he wonders why the local lord sold him a home with sultry baggage, and how to set her free from the walls that bind her.

Isekaied into a level 86 Necromancer-King's body, I leave his life of war behind in favor of peace in the idyllic Borderlands. Upon meeting the elven maiden Narya Summerdew and a razor-toothed half-elven child, the three of us form an unlikely improvised family in the hopes of remaining anonymous. As we embrace the eccentric community of Gelderham, we find happiness in simplicity…But my past casts shadows on our growing bonds. How will Narya react when she learns her new husband was once the evil king set on destroying her people?

You guessed it. It's beach day! David and his beautiful goblin women have worked hard and turned their guns-and-explosives trade into a six-figure business, and business is booming. Also exploding. But all work and no play is not the trailer park way of life, so instead of throwing a pizza party, David motivates the team with a day off to visit a nearby waterfall. Word is, there's a wide, sandy beach right there that's perfect for relaxing.

When I inherited my grandfather's magic shop, I wasn't exactly thrilled. I have plans, and inheriting a magic shop in a sleepy, mysterious little town isn't one of them. But when I discover a stunning girl named Elodie, with cat ears atop her head, working at the shop, I can't help but be intrigued. At first glance, I assume Elodie is just another pretty face working at my grandfather's magic shop. With her sleek hair, mesmerizing green eyes, and curves in all the right places, it's hard not to be distracted by her stunning appearance. But as I soon discover, there's much more to Elodie.

Arwyn is hooked on the immersive virtual-reality game Fantasia and has made somewhat of a reputation for herself within its fantasy realms. Possessing more nerdy smarts than physical strengths, her in-game avatar, Fey E'lan, doesn't necessarily follow the rules. She has a capricious make-things-up-as-she-goes tendency that her fellow players have come to know and expect. Diving into the next leg of their quest, Fey and her crew find themselves in the enchanted waters off the coastal town of Seaport. E

Life inside the Protection Zone is thrilling beyond imagination. Every day I am drowning in luxury, adventure, and more beautiful women than I can count, a dream scenario if I can stay focused. But bikini-clad distractions are everywhere, and I can feel my attention slipping. But while all the rampant hedonism is awesome, I need to focus my efforts on building new and improved weapons that we can sell for untold sums of money. Also, some of the women hadn't formally accepted my marriage proposals, so I wanted to focus on that as well.

The four rules of freelance villainy are as follows: 1. Always wear a mask 2. Never hurt civilians 3. Never kill the heroes you’re paid to fight. 4. And the bad guy always loses. And the rules worked, until I had to take down the Heroes of Earth to get Psyren back. Now, I'm not only infamous, but have a mob of villains looking to join my 'evil' organization and take over the world. And that's the good news! The bad news is the second biggest villain on the planet wants to hire me to work a fight against his hero daughter.

Arwyn has just purchased Fantasia: Fantasy Life, an immersive virtual-reality game that allows sleeping players to dive into a world of sword and sorcery with 99% realism. In Fantasia, Arwyn is Fey E’lan, a moon elf of the magical Elvenwood, whose unorthodox approach to gameplay—from befriending local monsters to putting a bag of holding inside a bag of holding—leads to a variety of unusual adventures and hilarious mishaps.

Jordan Cash and his party of extraordinary women were only planning to free one of their companions from a curse. But their simple mission to the port town of Avigo plunges them into a web of corruption far darker than they imagined.

Immerse yourself in the extraordinary tale of Kazuki, an otaku with a deep infatuation for cat girls, who suddenly finds himself in the enchanting Silver City. Here, a variety of fantastical races coexist harmoniously, but it's the cat girls who command Kazuki's attention. Kazuki's life takes a thrilling turn when he rescues a beautiful cat girl executive from danger, landing him a role as Security Specialist at 'Whisker Wonders,' a prominent cat girl consulting firm.