Showing results for "1" in Humorous

A weekly newspaper dedicated to the weird and the wonderful (but mostly the weird), The Stranger Times is the go-to publication for the unexplained and inexplicable. At least that's their pitch. The reality is rather less auspicious. Their editor is a drunken, foul-tempered and foul-mouthed husk of a man who thinks little of the publication he edits. His staff are a ragtag group of misfits. And as for the assistant editor...well, that job is a revolving door - and it has just revolved to reveal Hannah Willis, who's got problems of her own.

Kane is a six-foot-seven French Canadian. But, a year ago, he was a wolf. He'd been in the woods when a crazed, infected man attacked him. The next day, he transformed into a human. Now, Kane is searching for the Biting Man to get the answers he needs to become a wolf again and return to his pack. The only one who knows Kane's secret is a troubled young woman named Emelda. She needed out of a terrible situation; Kane needed someone who could drive. Wolves who become humans are terrible drivers. He also has a problem with moonlight.

Five friends, gamers for life, gather for their usual game night. Yet, when they use a strange new die they are transported to a fantasy world where all gaming ideas can come true. Together, the party must join forces to deal with the vile Necrolord whose plans will not only threaten this world, but Earth as well. Should be easy for a team of adventurers, but when gaming and real life meet, there are situations which cannot be anticipated.

24/7 Demon Mart: Publisher's Pack features two books from the 24/7 Demon Mart series: The Graveyard Shift, book one, and Monster Burger, book two. It also includes the bonus Hell for the Holidays, a 24/7 Demon Mart Christmas special. Lloyd Wallace is the most clueless crossing guard the intersection of hell and earth has ever seen. So clueless, that he doesn't even realize the beer cave in the corner store where he works is the gateway to hell.

Freddy Stern, a twenty-one-year-old cashier, has lived a plain, albeit harsh life. Having been orphaned—twice—he's spent the last ten years working and staying out of trouble. His only aspiration is to save enough money to become an archhuman. His dream gets the jump on him when he barely survives a near-death encounter and finds himself in possession of 1% Lifesteal, a bizarre talent with numerous contradictions and just as many uses.

Dive into the wondrous world of The Stranger Times with this carefully curated selection of short stories from C.K. McDonnell. Drawn from the award-winning The Stranger Times podcast, they are collected in print for the first time, along with the new novella ‘The Raven’. Experience the magical underworld of Manchester (and beyond) with stories featuring lovelorn trolls, blood-thirsty books and a constipated dog who may’ve accidentally consumed a portal to another dimension.

All that stands between rowdy long-haul trucker Jill MacLeod (aka Junkmouth) and her family back in Boston is two thousand miles of asphalt. Well, that and the monstrous game the System has had her playing ever since it descended on Earth. The reward: mana. Jill's goal: kill, score, drive—and stay alive. Behind the wheel of a turreted forty-ton semi named Bertha, Jill hammers east from Montana through a gauntlet of every kind of chomping, hissing, rabid creature imaginable. Barreling forward in her magical soulbound big rig and chalking up a bumper crop of roadkill, Jill isn't alone for long.

Brought to you by Penguin. Over 1 million Discworld audiobooks sold – discover the extraordinary universe of Terry Pratchett’s Discworld like never before The audiobook of The Colour of Magic is read by Colin Morgan (Merlin; Testament of Youth; Belfast). BAFTA and Golden Globe award-winning...

Bruce Silver is the author of the Riftbreaker novels, one of the most popular, beloved fantasy book series of all time. He's got everything he's ever dreamed of having: freedom to tell the stories he wants to tell, legions of enthusiastic fans who wait eagerly to see what he'll write next, and a really nice car. But despite all that, Bruce finds himself dissatisfied, battling an ennui he can't quite put his finger on. So he decides to do what anyone would do in his situation: burn it all down by unexpectedly killing off Carpathian Einzgear, Riftbreaker's cherished hero.

The usual result of a human taking a runaway semitruck head-on is a very sudden, very fast track to the pearly gates. But for one newly noncorporeal man, there's another option: become a dungeon. Feeling sorry for the desperate angel assigned to him, the man relents. Heck, if it doesn't work out, he can always chat with Saint Peter about it later. Next thing you know, he's a dungeon. Admittedly, a small run-down, somewhat unimpressive dungeon (more of a house, actually), but you gotta start somewhere, right?

February 2012. Somewhere in the North Atlantic. In an increasingly uncertain defence environment, a deadly new arms race has begun. In an attempt to secure her boundaries, Britain has deployed the very latest sub-sea military technology. Beneath and beyond the front line, these are the adventures of the HMS Goliath. A 55,000-tonne M-Class nuclear stealth submarine, prowling 5,000 metres below the surface, manned by idiots.

Juliette Contzen is a lazy, good-for-nothing princess. Overshadowed by her siblings, she's left with little to do but nap, read, and occasionally cut the falling raindrops with her sword. Spotted one day by an astonished adventurer, he insists on grading Juliette's swordsmanship, then promptly has a mental breakdown at the result. Soon after, Juliette is given the news that her kingdom is on the brink of bankruptcy. At the threat of being married off, the lazy princess vows to do whatever it takes to maintain her current lifestyle.

Artemus Steele's life was weird enough before he started juggling flaming swords and battling creatures from the pit. Now he's part of a ragtag team trying to stop Armageddon, armed with nothing but newfound powers they can't control, a book of prophecies they can't read, and a hellhound who keeps eating the furniture. As Chicago becomes the flashpoint for celestial warfare, Artemus and his misfit crew must master their abilities, decipher ancient riddles, and save the world—all while dodging fireballs, demon claws, and the occasional hellhound temper tantrum.

I almost hooked up with a werewolf… but before we got to third base, he dragged me off to jail. Apparently, he's the leader of the pack in town. The fact that I’m an illegal blood wolf—a vampire/werewolf hybrid—doesn’t help my case. And he didn't appreciate me accidentally biting him when we were kissing, either. Luckily, or unluckily, he seems to think I'm his true mate, which means he won't let anyone hurt me. But he also won't let me go. Between his possessiveness, my need to be near him, and the vampire clan hunting me, one thing's becoming clear:

Brynn was the first to ever activate the world’s hidden Prestige Mode, granting powerful perks at the cost of his godhood and all memories of his past life. Now, he’s at rock bottom in a brutal world where leveling is so deadly most people never try, powerful classes evolve through corestones, and loot is awarded through system-granted achievements. Armed with nothing but a magical helmet and an empty Alchemist’s Kit left behind by his former self, the ex-paramedic must grind his way back to divinity, level-by-level. But regaining his power won’t be his greatest challenge…

A bicycle crashes into me one night, and the next thing I know, I’m a baby? Getting reincarnated in another world populated by humans, demi-humans, and mythical beasts is certainly not the turn I thought my life was going to take. I especially didn’t expect to be carried off by a wolf and given into the care of a one-armed former knight. Now, I’m trying to repay him by rebuilding the family inn and healing his arm with alchemy.

Belissar has always lived a peaceful life, if not a particularly easy one. Though he lost his parents, he was taken in by a kindly villager who taught him his life's calling: beekeeping. But one day the local lord's ruthless son, Ruckanos, comes to their humble village to claim his own tower, slaughtering everyone. Luckily for Belissar, as he lies dying with an arrow in his back, a tiny worker bee decides to interfere, and he wakes up not only alive but a whole new bee-ing.

On a typical day, on an average train platform, two warring sister goddesses found their avatars. One avatar, the young Yoshi, was swept away to the world of Ephemera to be a great hero of honor, courage, and light. The other, the not-so-young Seiji, was swept away to become a dark lord out to kill or conquer all in his path. But Seiji is in absolutely no mood for that nonsense. It's bad enough that on Earth he was a closed-off, misanthropic grouch with zero patience for other people. Now he's supposed to muster enough of a give-a-damn to lead vile hordes?

Okay, I might be seriously under-qualified for the job of Enforcer, I'll admit. The Enforcer is supposed to be a human, for starters. It's usually an ex-special forces guy with big muscles and even bigger balls, and a knack for sorting out petty squabbles between the witches and vampires and shifters in the city. And I'm just a technically dead nail tech—an animated skeleton with a talent for illusion magic and gold gel manicures. But I've recently discovered that I can manifest some pretty big muscles of my own. I've already got the big balls, so I'm halfway there.

For twelve years, the virtual world of Yggdrasil has served as the playground and battlefield for the skeletal lord Momonga and his guild of fellow monsters, Ainz Ooal Gown. But the guild's glory days are over, and the game is shutting down permanently. When Momonga logs in one last time just to...