Everyone says they can take feedback. Until they actually get it.

In this episode, we get into why feedback is one of the most avoided conversations in professional life — and why that hasn't changed since the beginning of most people's careers. From boardrooms to interview rooms, the reaction is always the same: defend, explain, justify.

But what if that reaction isn't a character flaw? What if it's just biology?

We break down the science behind why feedback feels like a physical threat — including Daniel Goleman's amygdala hijack, David Rock's SCARF model, and Roy Baumeister's work on why negative information hits harder than positive. Then we reframe what feedback actually is, why it's a two-way street, and how to use it as a tool for growth rather than a trigger for defensiveness.

This episode includes a simple three-step framework — Listen, Understand, Act — and a practical challenge you can take into your week starting today.

You'll walk away with:

• A clear understanding of why your brain reacts the way it does to feedback
• The reframe that separates behaviour from identity
• A framework for giving and receiving feedback that actually works
• One small action you can take this week

Write in and tell me what landed: yourenotlisteningshow@gmail.com

Have you ever watched someone who just seems wired differently? Someone who keeps showing up, keeps doing the work, keeps going when everyone else has quit — and wondered what they have that you don't? I used to think drive was a personality trait. Something you either had or you didn't.

Then I looked back at a year of my life — I was sixteen, I'd just been dismissed in a way that cut deep, and I made a decision that changed everything. In this episode I break down what that year actually taught me about drive — why it isn't the same as motivation, where it really comes from, and how to find your entry point into it even if you've never had a defining wound or a dramatic moment to start from.

By the end you'll have a clear framework, one question to sit with this week, and a much more honest answer to why you've been waiting.

In this episode of You’re Not Listening, we look at one uncomfortable truth: you are going to suffer either way.

You can suffer by avoiding the difficult conversation, dismissing the feedback, staying the same, and protecting the version of yourself that no longer works. Or you can choose the harder pain — the pain of honesty, change, humility, and growth.

Through a personal story about facing years of repeated feedback, this episode explores why we often choose familiar suffering without realising it, why change feels painful at first, and why running towards the right discomfort can reshape who we become.

This week’s question:

What feedback have you kept hearing — and still haven’t faced?

Because both paths are hard. But only one of them gives something back.

Have you ever walked away from a conversation feeling like the other person just wasn't really there? Or worse — been on the other side of that, and not even realised it? I spent years thinking I was a good listener. I wasn't. I was just good at waiting for my turn to talk. In this episode I break down the three levels of listening that changed the way I show up — in my relationships, in my coaching, in every conversation I have. And by the end, you'll know exactly which level you're at — and what to do about it.