I’ve been wrestling with self-inflicted pressure that turns choices into requirements. I’m typically intrinsically motivated but can still get tripped up by extrinsic forces like approval, guilt, fear of disappointing people, and that inner “should’a” self-talk.

I’ve actually found a way to put pressure on myself to live the perfect recovery life, trying to build a perfect routine going to AA, church, trying social groups, hobbies, and even walking my dog. How easily I start to measure my recovery by how many things I can commit to and be perfectly consistent. Protecting my sobriety and my stroke recovery must factor in what supports my brain and body, not what fills my calendar. Recovery is building a life I can comfortably live inside where serenity is a valid metric.

I challenge anyone who relates to “should’a” self-talk to try one small experiment this week: pick one thing you’ve labeled as a requirement for yourself and relabel it as a choice. Instead of saying “I need to” say “I get to.” Notice if what started out as an obligation gets promoted into something fun.

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#EmotionalSobriety #StrokeRecovery #MentalHealth #SoberLiving #Recovery

My expectations are resentments under construction. Learned in sobriety, praying for someone I’m resentful toward helps me move toward forgiveness by remembering we’re all flawed and “sick in some way.” I realized, however, it can still carry an underlying tone of “I forgive you for not being what I wanted you to be.” A friend suggested to me that praising the other person can move us further into acceptance.

Praise removes the expectation entirely as well as the need to control someone’s character or rewrite who they are. Praising is choosing to see the value in another person’s temperament and God’s design, and even recognizing that what irritates me might be a strength in their life.

This same practice of praise can be turned inward too. Learning to praise myself, accept my own wiring, and remembering that the parts of me that I sometimes judge harshly, like my anxiety and sensitivity, can be my superpowers.

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Rather listen on Apple Podcasts? https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/recovery-daily-podcast/id1693924779

Visit my Etsy shop, and join my creative journey at Recovery Upcycling. https://www.etsy.com/shop/RecoveryUpcycling

#EmotionalSobriety #resentments #radicalacceptance #expecations #ego

Yesterday I finished an amazing book! It’s called Unexpected Awakening: 22 Days at a Buddhist Monastery Freed Me from Abuse by Laurie S. Jacobson (Available on Amazon here: https://a.co/d/09rqj0Ln)

It’s a MUST READ for anyone who’s ever stayed too long in a relationship that was breaking you. While this book tells a story, it is a testimony of resilience of the human spirit. There is a beautiful series of synchronicities throughout the book that inspire the reader to look beyond what’s in front of you to the hope we can cultivate within ourselves in our darkest seasons.

I was able to relate to the main character on so many levels, from quietly enduring emotional abuse to the restitution of her identity she found at the monastery. I, as a grateful recovering alcoholic and stroke survivor, recognized the deeply familiar feeling of detoxing from the chaos and finding that I’d not yet given up on myself. The mercy and silence at the beginning of a structured recovery journey is uncomfortable but necessary to start rebuilding one’s self-worth.

The psychological toll of emotional abuse is a self-constructed prison, and the author nails articulating her inner battle, fears, and the journey of her awakening. Her journey is not ordinary, in fact, it leaves the reader inspired that there is more going on in this life than what we see with our eyes. The story shows us how small choices and inner dialogue can lead us to freedom, just as it has in my recovery. Noticing, staying, and feeling the hard stuff is the imperfectly human pathway to living a new beautiful life.

That ending? I wasn’t prepared for it, and it absolutely undid me.

On my world famous Reads and Recovery Readometer scale it came in at 5 TAIL WAGS! https://recoverydailypodcast.com/reads-and-recovery/

Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and YouTube.

Rather listen on Apple Podcasts? https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/recovery-daily-podcast/id1693924779

Visit my Etsy shop, and join my creative journey at Recovery Upcycling. https://www.etsy.com/shop/RecoveryUpcycling

Link my low impact Recovery Exercise Program Week 1: https://recoverydailypodcast.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/Exercise_Week1.pdf

#emotionalabuse #spiritualawakening #freedomfromabuse #recoveryjourney #abusivemarriage