My expectations are resentments under construction. Learned in sobriety, praying for someone I’m resentful toward helps me move toward forgiveness by remembering we’re all flawed and “sick in some way.” I realized, however, it can still carry an underlying tone of “I forgive you for not being what I wanted you to be.” A friend suggested to me that praising the other person can move us further into acceptance.

Praise removes the expectation entirely as well as the need to control someone’s character or rewrite who they are. Praising is choosing to see the value in another person’s temperament and God’s design, and even recognizing that what irritates me might be a strength in their life.

This same practice of praise can be turned inward too. Learning to praise myself, accept my own wiring, and remembering that the parts of me that I sometimes judge harshly, like my anxiety and sensitivity, can be my superpowers.

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