I’ve been wrestling with self-inflicted pressure that turns choices into requirements. I’m typically intrinsically motivated but can still get tripped up by extrinsic forces like approval, guilt, fear of disappointing people, and that inner “should’a” self-talk.

I’ve actually found a way to put pressure on myself to live the perfect recovery life, trying to build a perfect routine going to AA, church, trying social groups, hobbies, and even walking my dog. How easily I start to measure my recovery by how many things I can commit to and be perfectly consistent. Protecting my sobriety and my stroke recovery must factor in what supports my brain and body, not what fills my calendar. Recovery is building a life I can comfortably live inside where serenity is a valid metric.

I challenge anyone who relates to “should’a” self-talk to try one small experiment this week: pick one thing you’ve labeled as a requirement for yourself and relabel it as a choice. Instead of saying “I need to” say “I get to.” Notice if what started out as an obligation gets promoted into something fun.

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