When you’re building your family with donor conception, one huge decision often gets skipped: Are we setting this person up as “Dad” (or “Mom”)… or as a “Donor”?

This episode is not about what your child might eventually choose to call them. It’s about the role you intentionally create at the beginning and how that choice shapes expectations, time, money, relationships, and logistics for everyone involved. It can be beautiful, or it can become very complicated, depending on how it’s set up.

In this solo episode, I walk you through six key topics to think about before you decide: • Legal realities and responsibilities • Emotional expectations for you, your co-parent / donor, and your child • Family and societal expectations • Occupational and lifestyle implications • Time and financial commitments • How your own story and history shape the relationship

I also share three practical ways to process your responses, so you’re not just spinning in worry, but actually moving toward a more grounded, thoughtful decision for you and your future child.

This episode is not legal advice and cannot replace personalized medical, legal, or mental health support. It’s meant to offer ideas, language, and frameworks as you navigate donor conception and modern family building.

👉 Want more support as you make donor-related decisions? Attend our free donor considerations workshops for people using reproductive medicine to build their families. Get your ticket here: https://familybuilding.net/events-page/

#donorconception #donorconceived #familybuilding #fertilityjourney #IVFcommunity #singlemotherbychoice #LGBTQfamily #thirdpartyreproduction #surrogacyjourney #modernfamily #donorissues #knownDonor #intendedparents #reproductivemedicine #chosenfamily

What if you’re told you’re in premature menopause at 34 – and your only path to pregnancy is IVF with donor eggs?

In this episode, I’m joined by fitness coach Kyla Burke, who shares her personal journey with premature ovarian insufficiency (POI), IVF, and ultimately pregnancy using donor eggs from a friend.

Kyla talks honestly about: – Mistaking her early POI symptoms for lingering COVID effects – Learning what AMH actually means and how it changed her plans – Moving from her own eggs to donor eggs – emotionally and practically – The loss of control that comes with IVF and donor conception – How she prepared her body and mind for pregnancy after treatment – Staying active during pregnancy to support her mental health – The realities of postpartum recovery (and how pelvic floor therapy helped) – The pressure of “bouncing back” and unrealistic social media expectations – Aging, fitness, and maintaining health while building a family

Throughout the conversation, Kyla comes back to one core message:

You’re not failing if treatment is hard, if transfers fail, or if you need donor eggs. Your body is not broken – and you deserve support for your mental health and recovery just as much as for your lab results.

This episode is for anyone facing POI, IVF, donor eggs, or simply trying to hold onto their physical and emotional wellbeing through fertility, pregnancy, and postpartum.

⚠️ Important: This episode is for education and reflection only. It is not medical, genetic, or legal advice. Always discuss your specific situation with your own care team or therapist.

🌱 Ongoing support for donor conception & surrogacy families

If you want more than one‑off episodes and would like ongoing workshops, courses, and community around donor conception, surrogacy, and talking to your child, you can learn about the Building Your Family community here: 👉 https://familybuilding.net/building-your-family-community/

To receive free resources and updates about future workshops and episodes, you can also join my newsletter here: 👉 https://familybuilding.net/newsletter/

If you’re using or considering donor conception and wondering, “Will I feel like the real parent?” or “Will I love this baby as much?” you are not alone.

In this solo episode, I talk about genetic loss – what it is, what it isn’t, and why it’s different from lifelong “genetic grief.” I share findings from my own research and years of clinical work, and explain why the distress you feel about needing a donor (even during pregnancy) has no correlation with how much you will love your child.

We’ll cover: – What “genetic loss” means in the context of donor eggs, sperm, or embryos – Why people experience genetic loss so differently – and why your way is valid – The difference between genetic loss and genetic grief (and why you don’t have to “finish grieving” before starting your family) – Why being upset about needing a donor does not predict whether you’ll bond with your child – What my research and real‑life stories show about love and attachment in donor‑conceived families – Practical tips for working with these feelings instead of judging yourself for them

At the heart of it, most people just want to know:

“Will I have a real bond with my child?”

This episode is here to reassure you that a strong bond is possible, and to give you language and tools to support yourself along the way.

⚠️ Important: This episode is for education and reflection only. It is not medical, genetic, or legal advice. Always discuss your specific situation with your own care team or therapist.

Most people naturally focus on photos and eye color when choosing a donor. It’s the first thing you see and it feels concrete. But if that’s all you focus on, it’s easy to overlook some of the genetics and long‑term implications that may matter even more for your family.

In Part 2 of my conversation with social scientist and philosopher Jonathan Anomaly, we talk about how to think about donor eggs, donor sperm, and genetics in a way that actually helps you choose a donor. Jonathan works with a company developing and researching embryo testing tools, so he sits at the intersection of ethics, economics, and genetics.

In this episode, we cover: – Why it's especially important, when you're choosing a donor, to look beyond photos and understand their medical and family history.

– What to pay attention to in a donor’s medical and family history (and what matters less than you might think)

– How donor screening and embryo testing can work together – and where it’s overkill – Common decision traps: getting stuck on looks, “vibe,” or minor traits while ignoring long‑term implications – A high‑level framework for choosing a donor that looks beyond photos

Our goal is not to tell you which donor to pick, but to give you a clearer framework so you feel less lost and more grounded in what really matters for your family.

⚠️ Important: This episode is for education and reflection only. It is not medical, genetic, or legal advice. Always discuss your specific situation with your own care team.

🎓 Donor Conception Masterclass – Walk Through the Full 5‑Step Process

In this conversation I share parts of my 5‑step framework for choosing a donor. If you’re in the middle of donor selection (or know you’ll be there soon) and want to walk through all 5 steps with worksheets, examples, and support, that’s exactly what I do in my Donor Conception Masterclass.

👉 Learn more and join here: https://familybuilding.net/donor-conception-masterclass/

Learn more about Jonathan & Herasight

Jonathan Anomaly: https://jonathan-anomaly.com/ Herasight: https://www.herasight.com/

About Lisa

Lisa Schuman, LCSW, is the founder of the Building Your Family community, an expert‑led platform that provides evidence‑based education and support for people using fertility treatment, donor conception, and surrogacy – including LGBTQ+ families and single parents by choice. She is also the Director of The Center for Family Building, where she and her team provide counseling and screening for intended parents, gestational carriers, and donors.

Join the Building Your Family Community:

https://familybuilding.net/building-your-family-community/ Community Events: https://familybuilding.net/events-page/ The Center For Family Building: https://familybuilding.net/ Order Building Your Family: The Complete Guide to Donor Conception: https://read.macmillan.com/lp/buildin...

Follow on Instagram: @thecenterforfamilybuilding

The Building Your Family Podcast and content posted by Lisa Schuman is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes.

#DonorConception #EggDonation #SpermDonation #EmbryoDonation #IVF #EmbryoTesting #FertilityTreatment #GeneticTesting #InfertilitySupport #BuildingYourFamily

If you’re in IVF and being offered a menu of embryo tests – PGT‑A, PGT‑M, PGT‑P – it can feel overwhelming. What do they actually tell you? How much is genetics vs environment? And how do you think about ethics, money, and risk for your family?

In this two‑part series, I’m joined by Jonathan Anomaly, a social scientist and philosopher who works with a company developing and researching embryo testing tools, including PGT‑P.

In Part 1, we cover: – What PGT‑A, PGT‑M and PGT‑P are (in plain language) – What kinds of conditions these tests can screen for – and what they can’t – How to think about risk, family history, and the role of environment – The real‑world pros and cons: cost, access, equity, and ethics – Guardrails for deciding whether embryo testing makes sense for you

You’ll leave with a clearer framework for talking to your doctor or genetics team, without being told what you “should” do.

⚠️ Important: This episode is for education and reflection only. It is not medical, genetic, or legal advice. Always discuss your specific situation with your own care team.

🎁 Free IVF “Zoom Out” Decision Guide

If this episode left you feeling pulled in many directions about embryo testing, I created a short Zoom Out guide to help you: – Step back from the pressure of the moment – Get clear on your own priorities and values – Walk into appointments more prepared to ask questions and make decisions that fit you

👉 Get it free here: https://familybuilding.net/newsletter/

📅 Upcoming free workshops

If you’d like more free support on decisions, donor conception, or surrogacy, you can see all of my upcoming workshops here: 👉 https://familybuilding.net/events-page/

Learn more about Dr. Anomaly: https://jonathan-anomaly.com/ Learn more about Herasight: https://www.herasight.com/

About Lisa

Lisa Schuman, LCSW, is the founder of the Building Your Family community, an expert‑led platform that provides evidence‑based education and support for people using fertility treatment, donor conception, and surrogacy – including LGBTQ+ families and single parents by choice.

#IVF #EmbryoTesting #PGTA #PGTM #PGTP #FertilityTreatment #GeneticTesting #DonorConception #Surrogacy #InfertilitySupport #BuildingYourFamily

Journalist Pedro Andrade joins me to talk about his new documentary series Somewhat Familiar – a global journey through surrogacy, adoption, foster care and modern LGBTQ+ families, including his own path to fatherhood with his husband and their daughter via surrogacy.

From “illegal” same‑sex parenthood in Italy to adoption in Korea and foster families in the U.S., we explore how love, law and culture shape who gets to be a family.

In this episode, we talk about:

Why Pedro created Somewhat Familiar and how it changed his view of becoming a parent What he learned from same‑sex parents whose families are not legally recognized The emotional reality of surrogacy, adoption, foster care and independent parenting How legal systems and social norms can make some families invisible or “illegal” What really matters most in building strong family relationships across cultures This conversation is for anyone building a family through IVF, donor conception, surrogacy, adoption, foster care or on their own – and wondering where they fit.

📺 Watch Somewhat Familiar with Pedro Andrade (Streaming details may vary by region.)

📩 Free support for your journey If you want a simple 10‑minute reset for the hardest days of treatment, DM me “ZOOM” on Instagram or leave a comment here, and I’ll send you my free Zoom Out Theory ebook + guided meditation.

Follow Pedro Andrade on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pedroandradetv/

This special Best of 2025 Learn episode brings together the most powerful insights on IVF, donor conception, and surrogacy to help you feel more prepared, informed, and less alone in your 2026 fertility journey.

Inside this episode, we revisit key moments from conversations with leading voices in reproductive medicine, psychology, and lived experience. Using my Zoom Theory (regulate vs learn), this is the Learn episode:

Part 1 – New Insights • IVF: how to think about your cycle and when to pursue treatment • Donor conception: talking about donors, identity, and long‑term implications for you and your future child • Surrogacy: the experience of a surrogate

Part 2 – What You Need To Remember • Core truths to hold onto when you feel discouraged or behind • Frameworks to use on your journey • How to keep learning without overwhelming yourself

This episode is for anyone using IVF, donor conception, or surrogacy to build their family, and for professionals who support them.

🔍 Resources mentioned: • My free “Zoom Out” ebook on regulating first, then learning in manageable steps: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/2qiyompkg6cowwk18waj6/Year-End-e-book.pdf?rlkey=hrz9uan0c87pnobh3qm1w2scv&st=5bvv3zpx&dl=0 • Workshops on [DONOR CHOICE / PARENTING / SURROGACY] and ongoing support: https://familybuilding.net/ • Listen to the full podcast on audio platforms: https://familybuilding.net/podcast/

If this helped you, please subscribe, leave a review, or share it with someone on this path. No one should have to navigate third‑party reproduction and fertility treatment alone.

#IVFjourney #DonorConception #SurrogacyJourney

Struggling with PCOS and trying to understand your fertility options – and all the talk about PGT‑A, PGT‑M and PGT‑P?

In this episode, fertility specialist Dr Steven Palter walks through how he approaches PCOS treatment and lifestyle, then explains the differences between PGT‑A, PGT‑M and PGT‑P in IVF embryo genetic testing.

I frame this as a kind of “second opinion” conversation – not to replace your own doctor, but to give you another way of hearing the information so you can ask clearer questions at your own clinic.

Learn more about Dr. Steven Palter: https://www.goldcoastivf.com/ Follow Dr. Steven Palter on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stevenpaltermd/