When you’re building your family with donor conception, one huge decision often gets skipped: Are we setting this person up as “Dad” (or “Mom”)… or as a “Donor”?

This episode is not about what your child might eventually choose to call them. It’s about the role you intentionally create at the beginning and how that choice shapes expectations, time, money, relationships, and logistics for everyone involved. It can be beautiful, or it can become very complicated, depending on how it’s set up.

In this solo episode, I walk you through six key topics to think about before you decide: • Legal realities and responsibilities • Emotional expectations for you, your co-parent / donor, and your child • Family and societal expectations • Occupational and lifestyle implications • Time and financial commitments • How your own story and history shape the relationship

I also share three practical ways to process your responses, so you’re not just spinning in worry, but actually moving toward a more grounded, thoughtful decision for you and your future child.

This episode is not legal advice and cannot replace personalized medical, legal, or mental health support. It’s meant to offer ideas, language, and frameworks as you navigate donor conception and modern family building.

👉 Want more support as you make donor-related decisions? Attend our free donor considerations workshops for people using reproductive medicine to build their families. Get your ticket here: https://familybuilding.net/events-page/

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What if you’re told you’re in premature menopause at 34 – and your only path to pregnancy is IVF with donor eggs?

In this episode, I’m joined by fitness coach Kyla Burke, who shares her personal journey with premature ovarian insufficiency (POI), IVF, and ultimately pregnancy using donor eggs from a friend.

Kyla talks honestly about: – Mistaking her early POI symptoms for lingering COVID effects – Learning what AMH actually means and how it changed her plans – Moving from her own eggs to donor eggs – emotionally and practically – The loss of control that comes with IVF and donor conception – How she prepared her body and mind for pregnancy after treatment – Staying active during pregnancy to support her mental health – The realities of postpartum recovery (and how pelvic floor therapy helped) – The pressure of “bouncing back” and unrealistic social media expectations – Aging, fitness, and maintaining health while building a family

Throughout the conversation, Kyla comes back to one core message:

You’re not failing if treatment is hard, if transfers fail, or if you need donor eggs. Your body is not broken – and you deserve support for your mental health and recovery just as much as for your lab results.

This episode is for anyone facing POI, IVF, donor eggs, or simply trying to hold onto their physical and emotional wellbeing through fertility, pregnancy, and postpartum.

⚠️ Important: This episode is for education and reflection only. It is not medical, genetic, or legal advice. Always discuss your specific situation with your own care team or therapist.

🌱 Ongoing support for donor conception & surrogacy families

If you want more than one‑off episodes and would like ongoing workshops, courses, and community around donor conception, surrogacy, and talking to your child, you can learn about the Building Your Family community here: 👉 https://familybuilding.net/building-your-family-community/

To receive free resources and updates about future workshops and episodes, you can also join my newsletter here: 👉 https://familybuilding.net/newsletter/

If you’re using or considering donor conception and wondering, “Will I feel like the real parent?” or “Will I love this baby as much?” you are not alone.

In this solo episode, I talk about genetic loss – what it is, what it isn’t, and why it’s different from lifelong “genetic grief.” I share findings from my own research and years of clinical work, and explain why the distress you feel about needing a donor (even during pregnancy) has no correlation with how much you will love your child.

We’ll cover: – What “genetic loss” means in the context of donor eggs, sperm, or embryos – Why people experience genetic loss so differently – and why your way is valid – The difference between genetic loss and genetic grief (and why you don’t have to “finish grieving” before starting your family) – Why being upset about needing a donor does not predict whether you’ll bond with your child – What my research and real‑life stories show about love and attachment in donor‑conceived families – Practical tips for working with these feelings instead of judging yourself for them

At the heart of it, most people just want to know:

“Will I have a real bond with my child?”

This episode is here to reassure you that a strong bond is possible, and to give you language and tools to support yourself along the way.

⚠️ Important: This episode is for education and reflection only. It is not medical, genetic, or legal advice. Always discuss your specific situation with your own care team or therapist.