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What We Don't Talk About When We Talk About Fat
- Narrated by: Samara Naeymi
- Length: 7 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged Audiobook
- Categories: Biographies & Memoirs, Women
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- By debbie janes on 14-09-21
Summary
From the creator of Your Fat Friend and co-host of the Maintenance Phase podcast, an explosive indictment of the systemic and cultural bias facing plus-size people.
Anti-fatness is everywhere. In What We Don’t Talk About When We Talk About Fat, Aubrey Gordon unearths the cultural attitudes and social systems that have led to people being denied basic needs because they are fat and calls for social justice movements to be inclusive of plus-sized people’s experiences. Unlike the recent wave of memoirs and quasi self-help books that encourage listeners to love and accept themselves, Gordon pushes the discussion further towards authentic fat activism, which includes ending legal weight discrimination, giving equal access to health care for large people, increased access to public spaces, and ending anti-fat violence. As she argues, “I did not come to body positivity for self-esteem. I came to it for social justice.”
By sharing her experiences as well as those of others - from smaller fat to very fat people - she concludes that to be fat in our society is to be seen as an undeniable failure, unlovable, unforgivable, and morally condemnable. Fatness is an open invitation for others to express disgust, fear, and insidious concern. To be fat is to be denied humanity and empathy. Studies show that fat survivors of sexual assault are less likely to be believed and less likely than their thin counterparts to report various crimes; 27 percent of very fat women and 13 percent of very fat men attempt suicide; over 50 percent of doctors describe their fat patients as “awkward, unattractive, ugly and noncompliant”; and in 48 states, it’s legal - even routine - to deny employment because of an applicant’s size.
Advancing fat justice and changing prejudicial structures and attitudes will require work from all people. What We Don’t Talk About When We Talk About Fat is a crucial tool to create a tectonic shift in the way we see, talk about, and treat our bodies, fat and thin alike.
Critic reviews
“Everyone who has a fat family member, friend, acquaintance, or coworker should read this insightful book.”
—Library Journal, Starred Review
“Gordon provides candid storytelling and critical analysis in this validating and inclusive read.”
—Ms. Magazine
“Writing from a personal and cultural perspective, Gordon goes beyond cosmetic complaints to undress the depths of anti-fat bias and discrimination, ultimately rallying for a social justice movement to form and broaden the scope of the conversation.”
—CultureShift
What listeners say about What We Don't Talk About When We Talk About Fat
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Amazon Customer
- 24-11-20
An important book.
This is not a comfortable read, especially for those of us who have faced prejudice and attempts at shaming us.
But it is a very important addition to the canon of literature about the fat experience.
3 people found this helpful
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- CC
- 22-06-21
Required Reading
This book should be required reading for every teacher, doctor, healthcare provider, politician, policy maker and celebrity. It is calm, precise, relatable and packed with information that could mean the difference between a human society of our dreams or our nightmares.
1 person found this helpful
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- Cate
- 23-01-21
Read it
If you’ve ever had to navigate the world in a fat body, you will probably find echos of your own story here, and feel heard and understood. If you haven’t experienced the world in a fat body then reading this, I hope, will help you grow your own understanding and compassion for real people of size. Hopefully together we can build the just world Aubrey dreams of.
1 person found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 12-08-22
I think everyone should listen to it however..
I think everyone should listen to it however I barely could listen to chapter 5&6 because there was a lot of talk about rape and assault and I thought that the author should've given a warning as it can be a an incredibly difficult thing to talk about or listen to.
The book itself is very informative and interesting. it's not what i thought it would be. Also, it is mostly catered to people who live in America though some things apply internationally.
At points I felt guilty for my size, that I am not fat and if I am that I am at the thinner end and I felt a bit excluded but that could be my perception.
I would recommend this book for sure though at points it was hard to listen to.
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- Ruth H-A
- 03-08-22
Essential
I’m a devoted listener of Aubrey’s (and Michael’s) podcast Maintenance Phase so I was excited to hear this. Bit disappointed that it’s not Aubrey reading it, as her delivery would have made it even better IMO, but once I got over that and got into the content I really enjoyed it. She writes beautifully and with a calm clarity about issues that affect fat people every day. This is a book that should be shared far and wide.
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- Daniel Paterson
- 21-07-22
Great book!
An honest look into what it's like to be fat all your life. I also recommend the author's podcast 'Maintenance Phase'.
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- Smeesh
- 21-05-22
Amazon needs to start auditing books
Over the last decade I’ve read 100s of books about health, food, nutrition, biology ect and I’ve sorry but the title of this book should be , one persons crusade about fat shaming and fat discrimination, I’ve never heard so much nonsense in a book I actually listened to it all trying to learn something but it just didn’t happen that’s my view , am away to see if I can get my credit back from Amazon, I would say it’s a good effort to write a book I applaud that but it’s seems anyone can publish anything now
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- debbie janes
- 17-10-21
A must read !!!!
I never realised what a fat shaming world we live in. this lady's accounts of abuse, hatred are just heart breaking this book is a massive eye opener
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- Amazon Customer
- 17-04-21
An important & uncomfortable read
This was by far the most uncomfortable read about what has been my own internalised fatphobia. I have never been more aware of what I have done to subconsciously uphold a system that targets and harms people people & my own relationship to my body. Everyone should read this. And everyone should protect our children and other fat people deserve dignity. What an important read.
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- kahl
- 10-02-21
Fat or thin- everybody should read this
fatphobia and the language around it has only been explicitly highlighted to me over the past couple of years - I have the privilege of a smaller body. since knowing about it I have been a huge supporter of fat acceptance but honestly my knowledge was not the best. This book has completely changed that, it is very eye opening and highlights the extent of the discrimination fat people face! It’s a great read- fat or not - very well written, chapters are clear and interesting!
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- H. Rich
- 08-01-21
Brilliant
Absolutely brilliant book. I love Aubrey Gordon, also pls listen to her new podcast with Michael Hobbes called “Maintenance Phase.”
She nails internal fatphobic feelings and experiences I’ve had for years and could never describe or verbalize. Health doesn’t equal skinny. Fat people deserve medical care too. Somebodies are bigger AND THATS OK AND FINE.
14 people found this helpful
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- russell
- 24-11-20
Stunning
This book is a clear and honest guide that offered me a glimpse of what it’s like to navigate the world in a fat body. It has moments that are daring, horrifying, authentic behind belief, and full of the type of vulnerability that fuels movements and societal transformation. It’s a must read for anyone who has a body... so yeah, everyone. Incredible read.
13 people found this helpful
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- PGM
- 20-12-20
Eyeopening
An affecting read that challenges the reader to explore assumptions about fat that so many of us hold. I've never read a book quite like this. Aubrey Gordon is a wonderful writer who challenges with heart and a clear-eyed look at how we regard fat people in our relationships and also in our policies and systems, As I listened I found myself thinking, "I never thought about it quite like that before ..." I am changed -- in a good way -- after listening to this book. The narrator is perfect. This an important work. I wholeheartedly recommend it.
10 people found this helpful
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- Michelle M
- 26-03-21
Excellent, heartbreaking, informative
This book is an extremely well written combination of stories, education, and a call to action. The author really shines telling her own stories and those of other fat people. Frankly, many were heartbreaking and illuminating, arousing compassion as she describes the cruelty and dehumanization so often shown to fat people. She also ropes in the sort of statistics and research that makes her points practically bulletproof. Finally, she clearly describes the ways in which fat people are denied rights and access and the specific things that we collectively need to change in order to shift a fatphobic world. Some of the social justice issues include work discrimination, housing discrimination, being kicked off airline seats without refunds, sexual violence, reduced access to public spaces due to lack of accommodations, and medical discrimination that often denies fat people the right to medical care due to health care providers assuming all symptoms fat people have are due to their weight. This can result in dangerous medical neglect for prolonged periods of time. It is appalling that fat people are so often denied access, respect, and humanity and there are a lot of changes that need to happen.
8 people found this helpful
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- Therese
- 26-11-20
Required reading.
This book shines a light on the racist and misogynistic origins of many ideas that are pervasive in western culture around the thin idéal and its conflation with health. This work is so, so important, and very interesting. I’ll reread it, because it’s so much to take in.
The narrator has a warm, personal voice that strikes the right chord with in first-person narrative interspersed with research, many references, examples in media. Excellent performance.
Put this book on your list, friends. You will become more empathetic, more knowledgeable, and you will better understand why body neutrality is an important notion to familiarize yourself with.
❤️✨
8 people found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 15-04-21
An excellent read
Loved Aubrey Gordon's book, it is a wonderful read for those seeking empathy and open-mindedness. The author bares their soul and trauma, illuminating the cracks and flaws and gapping chasms in our Healthcare system and societal expectations towards larger bodies. Please give this a read!
6 people found this helpful
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- Kirsten McCrea
- 08-08-21
Aubrey Gordon is amazing
My only complaint is that I’d hoped that Aubrey herself would be narrating this. I could listen to her talk all day. That being said, the narration is excellent.
I found out about Aubrey via her excellent podcast and hope she has more books in the works. She’s funny and brilliant and makes the world a nicer place.
5 people found this helpful
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- Lindley Bradley
- 21-04-21
Extraordinary
Thank you for writing this book! I am grateful and ready to address anti-fat biases in and around me!
4 people found this helpful
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- K. R. Elrod
- 31-12-20
Well written, but often misses the point.
There are some very good points here, but others annoy me with their petulant tone. For example, she argues that doctors’ requirement of severely overweight patients to lose weight before major surgery is discriminatory. She lauds science, but then forgets doctors might have a scientific and statistics reason for wanting to perform operations on people closer to their target weight: they’re less likely to die on the table. The author seems to sometimes forget that although she is healthy, many very fat people aren’t.
4 people found this helpful
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- Allison Hochmuth
- 25-06-21
excellent policy recommendations at the end!
I really enjoyed this audio book and the historical analysis of anti-fat bias and the vision and policy recommendations at the end. you can tell Aubrey Gordon has a background in political organizing. I also really enjoy her podcast Maintenance Phase with Michael Hobbs.
3 people found this helpful