Ace cover art

Ace

What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex

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Ace

By: Angela Chen
Narrated by: Natalie Naudus
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About this listen

 An engaging exploration of what it means to be asexual in a world that’s obsessed with sexual attraction, and what the ace perspective can teach all of us about desire and identity.

What exactly is sexual attraction and what is it like to go through life not experiencing it? What does asexuality reveal about gender roles, about romance and consent, and the pressures of society? This accessible examination of asexuality shows that the issues that aces face—confusion around sexual activity, the intersection of sexuality and identity, navigating different needs in relationships—are the same conflicts that nearly all of us will experience. Through a blend of reporting, cultural criticism, and memoir, Ace addresses the misconceptions around the “A” of LGBTQIA and invites everyone to rethink pleasure and intimacy.

Journalist Angela Chen creates her path to understanding her own asexuality with the perspectives of a diverse group of asexual people. Vulnerable and honest, these stories include a woman who had blood tests done because she was convinced that “not wanting sex” was a sign of serious illness, and a man who grew up in a religious household and did everything “right,” only to realize after marriage that his experience of sexuality had never been the same as that of others. Disabled aces, aces of color, gender-nonconforming aces, and aces who both do and don’t want romantic relationships all share their experiences navigating a society in which a lack of sexual attraction is considered abnormal. Chen’s careful cultural analysis explores how societal norms limit understanding of sex and relationships and celebrates the breadth of sexuality and queerness. Human Sexuality LGBTQ+ Studies LGBTQIA+ Creators Love, Dating & Attraction Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Relationships

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All stars
Most relevant
Best thing I've read about asexuality - nuanced, empathetic, political. This book is accessible to anyone on the aro/spec or other people trying to understand asexuality, aromanticism or the split attraction model.

Best book on asexuality

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hi. my best friend whom listened to this book recently came out as ace and I want to listen to the book that has open this door to her. I am (or currently think I am) a staight white man. this book has gave me so much to think on and new information to process. I think it's a good addition to anyones read.

mindful

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Came in to better understand a friend more deeply and widely. Came out thinking I'm probably aromantic (and that it doesn't mean I'm uncaring or cold).

My expectations were that the book would be typical leftist propaganda--to point all blame at social and societal structures and here's yet another reason to burn it all to the ground--but I'm glad I'm wrong. It's a far more insightful and careful view that aims to help people reflect upon who they are. To let you have an informed decision and autonomy over what you want to do with your body. And to highlight alienation felt by both aces and allos. There's more but those were my top 3 takeaways.

All of this to just to understand ourselves and others better, and recommend guidelines for future interactions and relationships.

It's not propaganda

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Wow.

I'm so glad this book was made and that I've had the chance to listen to it.

It's beautifully written and explained and Angela covers a wide range of topics relating to Asexuality. I've gained a whole new level of knowledge within this relatively short listen.

Most of all what this book has highlighted is how much representarion matters.

'You can't be what you can't see'

A lot more people would be less confused if we had more positive asexual representation in the media.

Oh, and sign me up for Boston marriages.

I highly, highly recommend this book whether you label yourself as Ace and if you do not, but especially to those of you who are debating internally if you are indeed on the spectrum.

Incredible.

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Very much appreciated how Ace causes complexities when matched with different backgrounds and perspectives.

Either side of that, there was a lot of focus on sex (ironically) which I couldn’t relate to at all and would recommend skipping if you’re actually ace.

There was this attitude that “we’re not *all* celibate” as if there was something wrong with it, which did rub me the wrong way.

Delivery sounds very generic, like an advert or instructional video going on for too long. I had to speed up to 1.3x to make it sound more like a human talking to me.

Good focus on intersectionality, poor performance

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