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The Power of Showing Up

How Parental Presence Shapes Who Our Kids Become and How Their Brains Get Wired
Length: 7 hrs and 27 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (19 ratings)

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Summary

Parenting isn’t easy. Showing up is. Your greatest impact begins right where you are. Now, the best-selling authors of The Whole-Brain Child and No-Drama Discipline explain what this means over the course of childhood.

"There is parenting magic in this book." (Michael Thompson, PhD, co-author of the New York Times best-selling classic Raising Cain)

One of the very best scientific predictors for how any child turns out - in terms of happiness, academic success, leadership skills, and meaningful relationships - is whether at least one adult in their life has consistently shown up for them. In an age of scheduling demands and digital distractions, showing up for your child might sound like a tall order. But as best-selling authors Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson reassuringly explain, it doesn’t take a lot of time, energy, or money. Instead, showing up means offering a quality of presence. And it’s simple to provide once you understand the four building blocks of a child’s healthy development. Every child needs to feel what Siegel and Bryson call the Four S's:

  • Safe: We can’t always insulate a child from injury or avoid doing something that leads to hurt feelings. But when we give a child a sense of safe harbor, she will be able to take the needed risks for growth and change.
  • Seen: Truly seeing a child means we pay attention to his emotions - both positive and negative - and strive to attune to what’s happening in his mind beneath his behavior.
  • Soothed: Soothing isn’t about providing a life of ease; it’s about teaching your child how to cope when life gets hard, and showing him that you’ll be there with him along the way. A soothed child knows that he’ll never have to suffer alone.
  • Secure: When a child knows she can count on you, time and again, to show up - when you reliably provide safety, focus on seeing her, and soothe her in times of need, she will trust in a feeling of secure attachment. And thrive!

Based on the latest brain and attachment research, The Power of Showing Up shares stories, scripts, simple strategies, and tips for honoring the Four S’s effectively in all kinds of situations - when our kids are struggling or when they are enjoying success; when we are consoling, disciplining, or arguing with them; and even when we are apologizing for the times we don’t show up for them. Demonstrating that mistakes and missteps are repairable and that it’s never too late to mend broken trust, this audiobook is a powerful guide to cultivating your child’s healthy emotional landscape.

This audiobook includes a downloadable PDF of the Refrigerator Sheet, a summary of the Four S’s to remember in forming secure attachments.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2020 Daniel J. Siegel, Tina Payne Bryson (P)2020 Random House Audio

Critic reviews

"Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson have spun a miracle - The Power of Showing Up is the ultimate guide to family reconnection. Clear, profound, and charmingly-illustrated, it unravels the challenges of modern parenting and reveals the simple truths about what children really need from the adults in their lives." (Wendy Mogel, PhD, New York Times best-selling author of The Blessing of a Skinned Knee and The Blessing of a B Minus)

"Parenting at this moment in time and at today’s pace feels hard. But that makes it all that much more important that we try to simplify the process of parenting and not put quite so much pressure on our own parenting shoulders. The Power of Showing Up will help you do just that. Siegel and Payne Bryson are master teachers when it comes to helping parents react and respond to kids in ways that communicate 'I hear you.' They articulate and quantify how to make your parenting easier - and better!" (Christine Carter, PhD, author of Raising Happiness)

"Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson have written their best book yet - and that is saying a lot. They have distilled their parenting wisdom - based on neuroscience research and a deep empathy for children’s needs - into a profound concept: showing up. It is one of those great ideas that seems so obvious - but only after someone has shown it to you and spelled it out clearly. Best of all, Siegel and Payne Bryson 'show up' for the reader of this book. They know parents, know their fears and anxieties, hopes and dreams, and they provide an accessible path to seeing and soothing children and providing them with safety and security." (Lawrence J. Cohen, PhD, author of Playful Parenting)

What listeners say about The Power of Showing Up

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A must read

I truly loved every second of this book. It is easy to read/listen/understand. Daniel and Tina have so much knowledge amd so extremely important message for the world. Read it 😉

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Profile Image for samantha mohan
  • samantha mohan
  • 13-01-20

such an interesting topic!

I love learning about parenting, but this can help you look at yourself and how your previous experiences have impacted you.

3 people found this helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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  • Nuvie
  • 09-01-20

Good reading to give you child PEACE

Nothing as enlightening for me having read the earlier books but I will try to at least take the lesson of giving PEACE to my tikes.

Might even be worth a wall poster to remind me when my actions do not align with PEACE for my kids.

2 people found this helpful

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  • WJG
  • 01-02-20

Practical,Guilt-free Parenting Help

Tina Payne Bryson and Daniel Siegel have done it again- provided easy to understand, guiltless parenting information! I regularly recommend their books!

1 person found this helpful

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  • Merle B
  • 25-01-20

A great book on child development / discipline

I've read several books on child development and parenting, this is one of the best. Engaging, practical, and if you are having difficulty with discipline, this is a good one to read.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Audrie Haverkamp
  • 04-07-20

EXTREMELY INFORMATIVE

Such a great and helpful listen. I have been struggling BIG time with my position as a Mother, as I have quite the variety of ages AND personalities to juggle (14, 5, 3). This helped to give me the confidence to continue forward with a purpose and direction. Being the only one available to "show up", I now have the knowledge and support, through this book. Thank you SO much. Now I'm off to hunt for your other books👍🏻

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  • Brian J Thomason
  • 05-05-20

Parenting 102

Taking parenting beyond the surface and into the emotional growth of our children, and ourselves.

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  • Firas
  • 25-02-20

great content but slow narrating

I liked the content of this book. however I found the male narrator to be very slow as if he spells.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 07-02-20

Increíble!

Es un must reed para todos los padres del mundo :) es muy interesante y ayuda mucho

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  • Mindi Bruder
  • 06-02-20

Helpful, but didn’t need to be a book.

The first two chapters of this book made it worth buying. Very insightful and incredibly helpful. However, past chapter two, it feels repetitive of their other books and much to long to be a book. This really could’ve been one excellent podcast and then done. For me, the last few chapters were unnecessary and long-winded. Additionally, the authors did a great job with the narration.

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  • Randall H. Richter
  • 01-02-20

Parenting PEACE for the children and parent.

Another fantastic guide for parents, educators, and child care providers, to help children grow and develop to become confident and responsible adults.