The Diary of a Secret Royal cover art

The Diary of a Secret Royal

 Preview
Get this deal Try Premium Plus free
Offer ends December 16, 2025 11:59pm GMT.
Prime members: New to Audible? Get 2 free audiobooks during trial.
Just £0.99/mo for your first 3 months of Audible.
1 bestseller or new release per month—yours to keep.
Listen all you want to thousands of included audiobooks, podcasts, and Originals.
Auto-renews at £8.99/mo after 3 months. Cancel monthly.
Pick 1 audiobook a month from our unmatched collection - including bestsellers and new releases.
Listen all you want to thousands of included audiobooks, Originals, celeb exclusives, and podcasts.
Access exclusive sales and deals.
£8.99/month after 30 days. Renews automatically.

The Diary of a Secret Royal

By: The Secret Royal, Henry Morris
Narrated by: Richard Carwardine
Get this deal Try Premium Plus free

£8.99/mo after 3 months. Cancel monthly. Offer ends December 16, 2025 11:59pm GMT.

£8.99/month after 30 days. Renews automatically. See here for eligibility.

Buy Now for £12.99

Buy Now for £12.99

Only £0.99 a month for the first 3 months. Pay £0.99 for the first 3 months, and £8.99/month thereafter. Renews automatically. Terms apply. Start my membership

About this listen

The most scandalous Royal book of the year

In a rapidly changing world the Royal Family own swathes of the country, most of the seabed and more money than anyone could ever spend. It is the role of the Chamberlain of the NDAs to keep things that way.

From transgressions to successions, travesties to majesties, follow eighteen months in the life of trusted toady Fenton Footlicker Esquire as he takes Queen Elizabeth to rehab, foils a breakout from the Balmoral Labour Camp and runs a counter-espionage unit of royal lookalikes – the Crown Duals.

Fenton knows better than anyone that without the monarchy UK tourism would instantly collapse. Which is why he calls himself the Royal Flush: because he always cleans up the messes his charges leave behind.

©2023 The Secret Royal (P)2023 HarperCollins Publishers Limited Biographical Fiction Genre Fiction Literature & Fiction Satire Biography Royalty Comedy Fiction

Listeners also enjoyed...

 How They Broke Britain cover art
Reflections cover art
Alan Partridge: Big Beacon cover art
From the Oasthouse: The Alan Partridge Podcast (Series 1) cover art
The Conspiracy Tourist cover art
That Mitchell and Webb Sound: The Complete Series 1-5 cover art
The Decade in Tory cover art
Chronoscape cover art
How Westminster Works...and Why It Doesn't cover art
Ashes to Admin cover art
Great and Horrible News cover art
Between the Stops cover art
Dishonesty Is the Second-Best Policy cover art
Genghis Khan and the Making of the Modern World cover art
A Year in the Wild cover art
Haywire cover art

Critic reviews

‘Henry Morris is incapable of writing a not-brilliant sentence’ Caitlin Moran

‘Crowns, tiaras and brilliant satire – it’s the best of British!’ Chris Packham
All stars
Most relevant
Thoughtful, well researched, clever, funny, silly, brilliant! I enjoyed the historical elements immensely. Please write another one.

Funny, silly, brilliant!

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
Brilliant and eloquent, with lots of laugh out loud moments. Beautifully narrated. Can't wait for the next instalment.

Everything It Promised To Be

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
The semi-fictional antics of the Royal family will keep you chortling from start to finish. Brilliantly read too.

Full of humour and satire

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
The best bits for me are the brilliant pastiches of ancient historical documents and the hilarious anachronisms . He skewers the Ponzi scheme that allows a family of entitled mediocrities and their hundreds of sycophants and enablers to flourish. There’s a savage wit behind the buffoonery. Meet the Keeper of the Royal Stool, the Royal Toothpaste Squeezer, The Chamberlain of NDAs and the Collector of the Qatari money bags…then there’s the ghastly Windsor extended family in all its banality & fatuous pomp.
There are a few weak moments but too few to mention. Many minor public deplorables are assassinated in passing. It’s well read in a variety of accents but mostly in a deferential tone reminiscent of Rees-Mogg.

An enjoyable attempt at regicide

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.