My Mother, Munchausen's and Me cover art

My Mother, Munchausen's and Me

A True Story of Betrayal and a Shocking Family Secret

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My Mother, Munchausen's and Me

By: Helen Naylor
Narrated by: Helen Naylor
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About this listen

There was a time when I loved my mother. It’s shocking to imply that I stopped loving my mum because mothers always love their children and always do their best for them. Mothers are supposed to be good. But my mother wasn’t good.

Ten years ago, Helen Naylor discovered her mother, Elinor, had been faking debilitating illnesses for 30 years. After Elinor’s self-induced death, Helen found her diaries, which Elinor wrote daily for more than 50 years. The diaries reveal not only the inner workings of Elinor’s twisted mind and self-delusion, but also shocking revelations about Helen’s childhood.

Everything Helen knew about herself and her upbringing was founded on a lie. The unexplained accidents and days spent entirely on her own as a little girl, imagining herself climbing into the loft and disappearing into a different world, tell a story of neglect. As a teenager, her mother’s advice to Helen on her body and mental health speaks of dangerous manipulation.

With Elinor’s behavior becoming increasingly destructive, and Helen now herself a mother, she was left with a stark choice: to collude with Elinor’s lies or be accused of abandoning her.

My Mother, Munchausen’s and Me is a heartbreaking, honest, and brave account of a daughter unravelling the truth about her mother and herself. It’s a story of a stolen childhood, mental illness, and the redemptive power of breaking a complex and toxic bond.

©2021 Helen Naylor (P)2021 Thread, an imprint of Storyfire Ltd.
Abuse Child Abuse Dysfunctional Families Dysfunctional Relationships Parenting & Families Relationships Emotionally Gripping Inspiring Heartfelt Thought-Provoking Mental Health

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All stars
Most relevant
Found the loud swollow of the narrator really distracting. At the start I was thinking, this is mild compared to the parents of the 70s, I grew up in Ireland when parents drove smoking in cars, windows up with their children in the back. Children out on the streets all day told not to come home till the evening as their mothers resting. Fathers absent as they often worked two jobs, no foreign holidays or hope of going to college. Sent to work in our early teens and married off to the first person who came along. Parents of that time rarely questioned doctors and many mothers took valium by the bucket full, known at that time as mothers little helper. And these things are only the tip of a very large mountain of wrong doing by parents of that time. It was very wrong, thankfully today child safety is better and I'd like to think parents more aware of how important childhood, communication, mental health awareness etc is. As the story went on it became obvious the mother was mentally unwell and Helen really suffered because of the gaslighting and the confusion, constant drama. I admire her courage and also her ability to break the chain of disfunction. Hurt people hurt people. Very often this chain would continue for generations. Well done to Helen. Insightful story, not everything is as it might seem.

Interesting and insightful

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Loved the book.
Hard hitting at times but beautifully written, MDP is a cruel illness not really talked about.. Its definitely opened my eyes to a world i had very little knowledge of.

A must read

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A good story but sad that a daughter had been but In that position. Trapped

Fantastic but sad

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Really enjoyed it, I was hooked early on. The narrator (and author) had a lovely endearing and captivating voice- hearing her describe how Munchausen unfolded, the impact it had on both family and friends and the difficulties faced when everyone knew what it was but couldn't help in any other way than medical attention. I do recommend this book if you enjoy true accounts, life stories, medical things.

eye opener

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Living in an attached terrace next to a sociopathic narcissist who exhibits periods of munchausen, a woman who actively incited 3 assaults on me and vocalizes wishes for me to be killed or to die, i get it... all of it I see, too, the affects on her 2 now adult daughters....also manipulated to harm and harass me while brainwashed into believing lies...and so, i can once again intellectually enhance my understanding of the family more thru Helen's painful story. BUT, what does upset me still are the levels of abuse of power and neglect of duties.. and simple gut understanding...of authorities...social services, police, doctors. Then again, Helen shows again why the world has so many ugly sides to it....the lack of people in positions of power willing to do what is needed....lazy leaders not exerting the energy to change the laws, stop supporting bad people and making good folks suffer through it all! So glad Helen was able to resolve and grow.. too many people remain in denial and hurting children grow into angry and dysfunctional adults. Thanks for bravely sharing your life.. .i wish you more love and laughter. xo

A sad truth, a wise daughter

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I love your bravery and honesty. Thanks to you Helen I realised I was abused for 44yrs by my own mum,actually it's still a case. I have the same feelings of shame to be a bad daughter. I don't know who I am but I hope. one day I'll be as bold as you. Thank you for letting me know I'm not alone in this quiet abuse.

True quiet violence

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As someone who has a parent with lots of illnesses but with a fairly positive outlook, I came across this book and was initially interested in its subject. I found the book informative but quite repetitive, and could have been a few chapters less.

Throughout the book I was so so on it, and thought about returning it a couple of times but decided to stick with it and I was glad I did complete it. Although I feel incredibly sorry for Helen, at times I found her whiny and self pitying. I know this sounds harsh because she really was badly treated, but it’s part of my nature to dislike whining so it clouded the book a bit. This was around the part of the book when she had her son. I found it to be a bit harsh to expect her mother to stay in a hotel and she couldn’t see why her mother would take offence at this. I do feel bad writing that but I can’t help how I feel.

I’m not sure I’d listen to this book regularly but the subject was very interesting. I have read other books on the subject but this was more of the human side of the disease which was certainly eye opening.

Interesting but frustrating

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I lost count of the amount of times I rolled my eyes or outwardly said what the f*ck or even got angry for this poor lady!
This is truly worth the listen

Truly astonished

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I have read hundreds of books. I have read many stories of people's lives and struggles. Never has a book made me so angry as this one. This is not a story of abuse, neglect, wilful lies and deceit's as the author would like us to believe, this is a desperately sad story of mental illness and the total lack of help from the medical profession that this woman was given throughout her life.
As a young woman and into her 20's it would be easy to see how the author could mistake her mother's behaviour as a lifestyle choice and for the author to misunderstand how her mother has no shame over being "found out" in her deceptions but I cannot believe that as she has matured with children of her own she cannot see that these were not choices her mother made but throughout het life she was driven by personality and illness to behave the way she did.
As the mother of a child who is furiously battling anorexia, I have witnessed first hand the power of the human brain and mind to destroy all logical thinking and remove clear thought and choice from an individual and leave them with the most bizarre outlook on life and people around them. It is totally incomprehensible to all of us "normal" people why the ill are acting the way they do but it makes their struggle no less real.
The author had an upbringing in a reasonably loving, caring environment where money clearly was never an issue even though both parents were out of work for what appears to be a long time. Dad being a member of a sailing club, holidays to America, mum paying for a nursing home for years on end, nice house, university education, hair does, private doctors, not much struggle going on and let's face it, parents are people too, do we not all realise that eventually as we grow older and realise that parents have also had their own childhood traumas etc etc.
I really could go on and on. The extracts from the diaries, only extracts the author has chosen, but it's obvious from the first that Eleanor has an emotional detachment to everything. The author constantly mentions Narcissistic Personality Disorder, well firstly again being a narcissist is not a lifestyle choice, it's an unfortunate character trait and secondly, does the author not see that the clue is in the title "personality DISORDER". It is something that is not correctly wired in the brain.
Helen Naylor instead of writing this book as a self pitying journal of how simply wonderful she is as a person would have better spent her time and energy highlighting how shockingly our own mental health care system let her mother down to the point where she starved herself to death (suspect she suffered eating disorders all her life), with her hands hooked into claws from self harm, without any family around her, written off by health professionals who had never seen what was happening.
I am relatively lucky in that my daughters illness is more recognised now for what it is, a severe mental health issue and NOT a lifestyle choice to be skinny, but the system needs to change to see all these things including drug and alcohol addiction for what they are, diseases of the mind and treat them accordingly.
The author should be eternally grateful that her mother kept the Munchausen's Syndrome all for herself and did not project it onto her daughter as mother's have in the past causing real harm and damage to their children. I recommend that the author watch The Act, and be grateful for the life she has now with her husband, children, friends, coffee mornings, free time to write and goodness knows what else.
Rant over.

Never before has a book made me so angry..........

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I could have written this story. It was amazing and emotional to hear another woman experience what you had, think the same thoughts and feel the same turmoil. Calmly and beautifully read, a poignant story of a mother and a daughter, a daughter who wanted that loving relationship, but couldn't have it. Heartbreaking really. The positive is that we have learnt how not to do motherhood and surround our loved ones with warmth and compassion! Not enough is shared about mothers who damage their families. Glad this book is out there.

Therapy in a book

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