Guards! Guards! cover art

Guards! Guards!

Discworld, Book 8

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About this listen

Brought to you by Penguin.

Over 1 million Discworld audiobooks sold – discover the extraordinary universe of Terry Pratchett’s Discworld like never before

'It was the usual Ankh-Morpork mob in times of crisis; half of them were here to complain, a quarter of them were here to watch the other half, and the remainder were here to rob, importune or sell hotdogs to the rest.'

Insurrection is in the air in the city of Ankh-Morpork. The Haves and Have-Nots are about to fall out all over again.

Captain Sam Vimes of the city's ramshackle Night Watch is used to this. It's enough to drive a man to drink. Well, to drink more. But this time, something is different - the Have-Nots have found the key to a dormant, lethal weapon that even they don't fully understand, and they're about to unleash a campaign of terror on the city.

Time for Captain Vimes to sober up.

The Discworld novels can be read in any order but Guards! Guards! is the first book in the City Watch series.

'This is one of Pratchett's best books. Hilarious and highly recommended' The Times

© Terry Pratchett 1989 (P) Penguin Audio 2023

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Critic reviews

'This is one of Pratchett's best books. Hilarious and highly recommended'

'Pratchett is at the peak of his powers; it's hard to think of any humorist writing in Britain today who can match him...A masterful ear for dialogue, a keen eye for the ridiculous and a real feel for language'
'The best humorous English author since P.G. Wodehouse'
All stars
Most relevant
Audiobook Reviews

Guards! Guards! Sir T P New Penguin release 2023

I’ve read the books. I’ve listened to the books the original recordings made digital for our dumb phones. Spoiler if you’re new to Sir Terry Pratchett’s books i) welcome ii) where in the hells have you been? and iii) stop reading this review I don’t want to spoil the magnificence of all the Discworld books and audiobooks.
Still reading? Well don’t blame me. Jon Culshaw has a gift of changing his voice. What he’s done here is awful. A bad Les Dawson impression does for Captain Sam Vimes. What!? (Don’t know Les Dawson? try that place for videos of everything you know youThingy)
Cpl. Nobby Nobbs is at least twenty years younger than Sgt. Fred Colon but sounds 20 years older. Is Mr Culshaw a fan of the Discworld? It doesn’t appear so. Age difference proof Nobby and Fred? Try Night Watch Nobby is a grubby little street urchin and Fred is in the Watch having served in the military already. Carrot’s voice is okay. For a thin wiry tall man Havelock Vetinari, the Patrician his voice sounds too deep and slow he’s swift of hand and swifter in the mind and would speak quickly enunciating clearly and sharply as his mind.
Based on this outing I won’t preorder any other books until I can hear a sample. I’ll stick with my original collection for now.
It’s an opportunity missed or misguided.

I’ve read the books. I’ve listened to the books

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Very excited to have John Culshaw carefully handling such a precious book. Well read, lovely voices and an excellent listen. My one criticism is that is some of the places where the action needs to zip along, the pacing was a little slow. However all is forgiven for a divine Nobby (a sentence which has never been used before)
Thank you and off I go to the next book

Great version of a wonderful story

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I’ve been a big fan of TP's City Night Watch (and the Witches) series for years.
I loved Nigel Planer's renditions - they were so enjoyable to listen to. He brought out the fun, humour and, dare I say it, the farce of the stories naturally, effortlessly and with aplomb.
In contrast, I found Jon Culshaw's narration to be slightly OTT which made his rendition sound stilted and disjointed. It was too serious and dramatic which, in my opinion, is not what the series is about. He made Nobby out to be more intelligent and quite sarcastic. Have I misjudged him all this time? Also, the plebs all sounded the same ie middle class.
I really regret giving away my physical copies of the books when I bought the audio recordings. However, the sound quality of the tapes have deteriorated due to constant replays. Audible has copies of these recordings, but it comes with a warning re the sound quality as well. There are no cd versions of Nigel's narration - I looked.
I will persevere with JC and hope that he will grow on me 🤞.

Jury still out re Jon Culshaw

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I think for most Pratchett fans, ‘Charles Dance’ is a perfect Lord Vetinari, but ‘Sean Bean’ as Vimes is inspired. Jon Culshaw is a fantastic voice talent and ‘does the voices’ to a tee. Feels more like a full cast production than single voice over. I also love the continuity of Bill Nighy reading the footnotes, he gets the tone every time. A joy for Pratchett fans old and new.

Jon Culshaw pulling out all the big names!

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I've read the whole series many times over the years, the guards just about nudges the witches as my favourite. Jon Culshaw did a great job with the characters we love, especially Vimes. I can't wait for the rest of the series, straight into book two now...

Exciting start to the guards series

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