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  • Dying to Be Thin

  • The True Story of My Lifelong Battle Against Anorexia
  • By: Nikki Grahame
  • Narrated by: Yaz Shah
  • Length: 9 hrs and 21 mins
  • 4.7 out of 5 stars (253 ratings)
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Dying to Be Thin cover art

Dying to Be Thin

By: Nikki Grahame
Narrated by: Yaz Shah
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Summary

”The figure looking back at me was little more than a skeleton with just a thin layer of tissue paper for skin, drawn over the stick-like bones. I stood staring for a good couple of minutes, considering what I'd become. And my verdict? Brilliant, I thought. It's been worth every moment of all that hard work.”

Say the name Nikki Grahame and most people will remember the bubbly, highly strung and hugely entertaining Big Brother 7 contestant. Since leaving the Big Brother house, she has forged a successful career for herself in presenting and writing. Yet Nikki isn't just another reality television contestant and her life story is not like any other you will ever read.

From the age of eight until she was nineteen, Nikki battled anorexia nervosa but few cases have been quite as extreme as hers. Aged just eight and weighing just under three stone, Nikki was diagnosed as anorexic.

For the next eight years, she was in and out of institutions - seven in total - during which time she attempted suicide twice and had to be sedated up to four times a day so that she could be force-fed. At one point, she was sedated for fourteen days while doctors sewed a tube into her stomach, through which she was fed in order to get her weight out of the critical range. The lengths that she went to avoid eating and find ways to exercise excessively shocked doctors who have worked in the field for years. As Nikki says, “I've always wanted to be the best at everything I do, so I had to be the best anorexic - and I was.”

This compelling book tells the story of an incredible journey.

©2010 John Blake Publishing (P)2013 Prospero Media

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What listeners say about Dying to Be Thin

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  • Overall
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Sad true story

Hard to listen to at times
A interesting inside of would of loved a follow up from her mum maybe.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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Heartbreaking but vital

An essential listen for those who may have suffered from eating disorders. The true horror not to mention destroying of a shallow stereotype the author was given. This book was a massive part of my recovery from an eating disorder helping me realise the agony and insanity of it all.

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So sad

RIP Nikki. What a horrendous childhood Nikki had. This explains so much of her behaviour in BB.

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Insightful and honest

A vivid and honest account of how destructive Anorexia can be. The level of detail made it very interesting and the descriptions of the various units helped me visualise what Nikki's time as an inpatient must have been like. Upon listening to the book, I thought she was very brave as so much of herself is revealed. At the points where she hits rock bottom, it's hard to hear and I did have to take breaks. Well worth reading if you are interested in child and adolescent mental health.

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Emotional and sad tale

I downloaded after I'd heard of nikki's passing. She'd been through so much from such a young age and it's scary to know she went through so much to get where she needed to be. I'm just sorry it took her life in the end :(

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Beautiful Person Inside and Out

beautiful autobiography which I feel really told Niks story such a strong woman filled with character

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Really enjoyable listen

the music is quite cheesy, but I absolutely enjoyed listening to the real account of living with AN and treatment. I could relate so much. the ending seemed like a fairy tale though!

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Horrified

I have to say I have only just started listening to this book but I am already horrified by the language used by the narrator of the doctor from the hospital where poor Nikki was placed to help her recover. I am appalled at how they speak about Nikki as though she chose to have an eating disorder and was deliberately acting in this was. What part of this being a mental
Illness has been forgotten. As with suicide rational thought of a well person is not the same. I feel absolutely pulled to try to go into this line of work to help medical professionals and support to see eating disorder sufferers as human beings not the disorder. The force to eat and withdrawal of talking means punishing them and can add to the distress. These hospitals need an overhaul I am completely disgusted. Poor Nikki and people who have had to spend time with these people!

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amazing 👏

absolutely loved this book i was a massive fan of nikki i never could bring myself to read/listen due to suffering with a eating disorder myself when I was young I thought it may be a trigger for me ! but it wasn't and I felt emotional at the end as I know she sadly lost her battle to this illness rest in peace nikki 💔 😔 thank you for your book you will inspire other suffers to know they is a life out there worth living ❤

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Wish Nikki had narrated!

Listening to this interesting and moving book after Nikki has died is so sad. It is a huge shame that she didn’t narrate this book herself - what a missed opportunity that was. The narrator couldn’t sound more different (even pronounces the word “room” in that posh way “rum”) and so the audible version loses out because I’m sure you would hear Nikki’s voice if you read it yourself.

Apart from that, the book is incredible and mostly deals with the anorexia rather than the BB experience. Fascinating and horrifying to hear about Nikki’s childhood experience with this dreadful condition. I was shocked that people tried to feed her things like lamb chops and burgers even as recently as the 1990s when I would have thought soups and other healthy and more palatable foods would have been more successful! Also, as long ago as the 1970s I was at school with a girl who was hospitalised with anorexia so I didn’t understand the sentiment (also from her mother in TV interviews) that childhood anorexia was somehow a new thing.

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