Showing results by publisher "Lightning Strike Press, Inc." in All Categories

Ok. That wasn’t what I was expecting. But, no one from that TV show Punk’d jumped out and told me they were just yanking my crank, so I guess I just have to go with it. Out of the frying pan and back into the hellfire. Figuratively, at the moment, but not for much longer and now I have a new layer of responsibility, just because the universe thought it would be hilarious. So now, I’m a professional babysitter of weapons and officially a “gopher” for the impending doom on the horizon. Not much of a change of pace, but at least it’s a change of scenery.

Hell’s first work release program; killing monsters to save souls. With time running out, can she outrun her demons and save the day? If I had my own version of The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, it would be called The Ball sack and the Bandsaw. I know it’s not a perfect comparison, but both me and that French guy know what it means to be locked into our fates. Of course, his was an accident, and mine was caused by my own stupidity and the manipulation of the universe, but still.

I’m sure that there are people in the world that dig riddles and puzzles and all that shit. But when you have less than a month before you check out permanently to take up residence in that big sauna in the pit, riddles aren’t as cute. Of course, I didn’t get the chance to tell this to the winged-monkey that dropped it in my lap before he was gone. Sometimes I wonder if there’s a sign on my forehead I keep missing that just says, “Pile shit here.” It would explain a lot. And now there’s a new heavy-hitter, out to make a big splash for herself.