Showing results by publisher "Recorded Books" in Humor

Though I, Timmy Failure, have solved many notorious crimes and now wish to enjoy my retirement, my fans have begged me to turn my memoirs into a movie, an ode to my greatness. I am, however, beset by enemies, the worst of whom is Tom John John, the buffoonish movie director. What’s more, my father is in town, working at a bar, which is obviously just a cover for our father-son crime-fighting partnership. And my dimwitted polar bear business partner, Total, wants to be reunited with his family.  

The New York Times best selling cartoonist behind the nationally acclaimed comic strip Pearls Before Swine, Stephan Pastis has won raves for Timmy Failure, the hilarious first book in a new series for young listeners. With the help of a polar bear named Total, Timmy Failure hopes to strike it rich by running the best detective agency around. The only problem is that our supremely confident hero is often more bumbling than brainy.

Timmy Failure is not just any detective - he is the greatest detective in his town, perhaps the nation. He is so famous that there have been seven books written about his life. Plus a movie. And so he has agreed to provide the world with his extraordinary origin story, as dictated to his biographer and best friend, Charles "Rollo" Tookus. 

There’s no doubt about it: These kids are nerds. Awkward, unpopular, uncool as uncool can be—and yet, there’s something about these “nerds” that nobody else knows. These dweebs are actually superspies who use their dorky skills to battle the evil Hyena and other villainous baddies.

Intrepid fairy-tale detectives Sabrina and Daphne Grimm investigate a sudden streak of magical thefts that might add up to a very grim future for their family, who are not so popular in Ferryport Landing these days. With Granny Relda desperately scrambling to pay Mayor Heart’s outrageous taxes on humans, the Sisters Grimm tackle their first solo case—with a little help from Puck, of course.

This book was never meant to exist. No one needs to know the details. Just know this: there's a Merry, a Larry, a missing tooth, and a teachers' strike that is crippling Timmy Failure's academic future. Worst of all, Timmy is banned from detective work. It's a conspiracy of buffoons. He recorded everything in his private notebook, but then the manuscript was stolen. If this book gets out, he will be grounded for life. Or maybe longer. And will Timmy's mom really marry Doorman Dave.

"My fellow Americans, When I was running for President, I said you should vote for me because I didn't know anything about politics … or how to raise taxes … or how to ruin the economy. I didn't know how to get us into a war. I said you should vote for me because I didn't know anything. Well, that was two months ago, and I'm very proud to say that … I still don't know anything. Let's face it: I'm a kid. I'm going to need a lot of help. Here's the deal I offer America: I'll help all of you if you all help me!"

This selfish sister only thinks of herself, and she wants it all—even her brother’s kidney! Everything must belong to her! But who can possibly tell her “no”? Her family must cater to every whim—but where does that leave sister in the end?

This seventh entry picks up right from the cliffhanger ending of Tales from the Hood, as Sabrina and Daphne's parents finally awake from their sleeping spell. But this is no time for complacency. The family must help Prince Charming's Everafter army fight the Scarlet Hand, and Sabrina must confront the deadly and mysterious Master.

One hundred years in Minecraft’s past, foiled by a time-traveling Gameknight999, the evil virus Herobrine has gone mad with rage. Now determined to wipe every NPC alive off the server as punishment for meddling with his plans, he crafts a new monster king to lead a devastating aerial assault.   

Goonies-meets-James-Bond-style hijinks continue with a group of unpopular fifth-graders who run a spy network right under their teachers’ noses. Their tech-loving, geeky ways may get them shunned by the “it” crowd, but with a little help from science, these kids’ most dweeby qualities become big-time weapons in the fight against super-villains.

With summer gone too quickly, Rube Goldberg must finally face what he’s been dreading all vacation: middle school! He’s not ready for new classes, new people, new everything - and it’s really taking a toll on him. With his anxieties in full gear, all Rube wants to do is do what he does best: invent! When Principal Kim announces that the school is going to throw a Contraption Convention - Con Con - Rube is ready to show off his skills and get out of his funk!   

In Rodrick Rules, book 2 of the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series from #1 international bestselling author Jeff Kinney, as Greg enters the new school year, he's eager to put the past three months behind him . . . and one event in particular. Whatever you do, don't ask Greg Heffley how he spent his summer vacation, because he definitely doesn't want to talk about it. Unfortunately for Greg, his older brother, Rodrick, knows all about the incident Greg wants to keep under wraps. But secrets have a way of getting out . . . especially when a diary is involved.

When the going gets tough, what’s a wimpy kid to do? In Fight or Flight, Greg Heffley faces his biggest challenge yet as he becomes a target for the school bully. Luckily for Greg, his best friend, Rowley Jefferson, takes karate, so at least Greg’s got someone in his corner. But an...

A virus has infected Arlington, Virginia, home of NERDS headquarters, and it's much worse than your run-of-the-mill flu. Instead of coughing and sneezing, the victims of this voracious virus are transformed into superintelligent criminal masterminds. Soon nearly everyone - including some of the NERDS team - is plotting to take over the world. And who's to blame for this nasty infection? None other than former NERDS teammate Heathcliff Hodges. With more people breaking out into evil cackles every day, it's up to Flinch, the hyperactive superspy with a sweet tooth, to stop the virus.

Finding a million dollars in your garden - every kid's dream, right? That's what me and my best friend, Toby, thought, too. Bouncy castles at school. Sweets for our adoring fans. Wearing sunglasses indoors ('cos that's what all the millionaires do). There's a lot you can get with a million dollars...including a whole lot of trouble.

Meet Holling Hoodhood, a seventh-grader at Camillo Junior High who must spend Wednesday afternoons with his teacher, Mrs. Baker, while the rest of the class has religious instruction. Mrs. Baker doesn’t like Holling - he’s sure of it. Why else would she make him read the plays of William Shakespeare outside class? But everyone has bigger things to worry about, like Vietnam.

The grand finale to the best-selling series, Attack of the BULLIES stars Ruby Peet, aka Agent Pufferfish, the team captain with super nanobyte-enhanced allergies. Pufferfish leads the team in their latest case: the kidnapping of the president' s daughter. But the NERDS discover she hasn' t been kidnapped - she' s been recruited. Their former librarian, Ms. Holiday, has started a rival organization called BULLIES, who each have their own nanobyte-enhanced upgrades. The BULLIES' plan: go back in time to make sure NERDS never existed!

It’s Greg’s birthday—and you’re invited to the chaos. In Partypooper, the 20th book in Jeff Kinney’s global smash-hit Diary of a Wimpy Kid series, Greg Heffley is planning the ultimate party—for himself. But when the guest list grows, the decorations flop, and the surprises backfire, this birthday bash turns into a total blowout—just not the kind Greg had in mind.

Disaster reigns when A.J. participates in the school's holiday pageant celebrating Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa.