Showing results for "The List" in Satire

Beep. I'll have to do something. My love life is like the Sahara - dry, barren, and waiting for rain to fall so it can bloom. Beep. So my pal suggested online dating, and now I'm feeling like the most desired woman in the world. My laptop keeps announcing amorous messages all day and all night. Beep, beep, beep - my clarion call of love. Beep. Hold on a minute, new message coming in. Oh no, what the beep is that? There are some real weirdos in this dating world.

Well, Max did warn me about being a movie extra. He did say it was a bad idea to answer the advertisement in the newspaper. I think he feared I would end up in some dodgy set somewhere, hanging from a ceiling, playing the part of the dead. Or maybe even an extra in an adult movie. I can't tell him the truth - that I wouldn't have minded that. But no such luck. The movie I was in didn't have dead bodies or naked bodies hanging around. Disappointed as I am with that, this challenge did show me something that I had long dreamed of.

My best friend, Max, is a great partner in crime - whenever I can pry him away from his girlfriend long enough. And this week he better help me out - I want to crash a wedding party. I have a brand new dress and I really want to show it off, so I can kill two birds with one stone. Stone - the British equivalent of 14 pounds - that's a lot of weight. I've just dropped a dress size so that must be around a stone. Maybe I'll put it back on again quickly and the dress won't fit me.

In which our intrepid correspondent REdiscovers the greatest gift of the XMAS season is the gift of giving and beating down a clichéd premise like a rented mule.

In which our intrepid correspondent discovers that the greatest gift of the XMA$ season is the gift of giving.