Showing results for "1.000" in Humorous

Anthony has been reborn! Placed into the remarkable game-like world of Pangera. But something seems a little off... What's with these skills? Bite? Dig? Wait.... He's been reborn as a WHAT?! Follow Anthony as he attempts to adjust to his new life as an ant in his new Dungeon home. He'll have to learn how to survive, level-up, and grow both himself and his bite-sized colony into a force to be reckoned with.

T.E.D.D. is a trash droid with glitches, sarcasm to spare, and zero interest in dealing with our crap. Unfortunately, quitting isn’t easy when blackouts, psychotic episodes, and a corporate death squad are on your tail. To survive, T.E.D.D. must embrace his anomaly—and maybe even team up with the humans he can’t stand.

He knows it, and so does everyone else in the star nation of Prometheus. A promising naval career down the drain just because he accidentally killed 504 civilians. So, it's time for him to give up and accept a dead-end command on Persephone, the worst starship in the fleet. Until he meets the beautiful and cunning Jessica Lin, his new executive officer, who harbors a terrible secret of her own. Now, with an enemy warship four times their size bearing down on them, Brad's in a race to save Jessica and his stupid ship.

Some starship captains explore strange new worlds, seeking out new life and new civilizations. Some lead missions of discovery through wormholes to the other side of the galaxy. Then there's Captain Iridius B. Franklin, someone who spent too long seeking out strange new bars and new alien cocktails.

Cantankerous bachelor Robin Lightfoot is happily single - until one morning he awakes to discover he’s married with two children. And he has two half-brothers...both called Ian. Is it a nightmare, a practical joke or something more sinister? Robin gradually realises that he’s in an alternate universe, where the Lib Dems are in power, the Dimbleby brothers are sports commentators and alcohol is a class-A drug.

Earth was invaded. Earth was conquered. And humanity was summarily subjugated, as 400,000,000 people were culled. The terrifying part was this only took the Peacekeepers a second. There wasn't even a chance for us to fight back. In the blink of an eye, questions like whether or not we're alone in the universe or at the top of the food chain were answered. We were not. Not by a long shot. Despite the mass murder, the Peacekeepers promise they're benevolent. They don't want to rule Earth. They don't want to control humanity. They just want us to stop playing around with AI and genetics.

After the arrival of the multiversal monopoly BuyMort, life got brutal. All systems were through BuyMort. All currency was through BuyMort. All sales were through BuyMort. You could resist, you could compete, but it didn’t really matter because in the end you used BuyMort—or you perished. BuyMort be praised. But not everyone’s happy with the new system. Some, even, want to see it destroyed. It’s quick. It’s convenient. And it will help people kill you and your family as readily as it will help them sell you knickknacks for a quick mortie.

Hidden in the midst of a remote Surrey village (at the top of the hill, opposite Budgens) is top-secret scientific research institute Clayton Grange. There, a team of bumbling boffins, led by the keen but hopeless Professor Linden Saunders, try to fulfil their government brief to solve the global fuel crisis, cheer people up and make war just a bit more gentle. Sadly, they're as rubbish at science as they are at life—but they're not going to let mere incompetence stop them from pushing the boundaries of human knowledge.

The location: London. The date: Very, very soon. Beset by multiple crises and buried under a growing mountain of debt, the leaders of the G7 have taken the only logical decision. They've sold the planet. When Toby, a penniless student, and his two new flatmates find out one morning on TV, they're surprised to find the Earth's new alien owners are staggeringly cute and bring the promise of a debt-free future. They're just getting ready to celebrate along with the rest of the world, when a chance encounter with a mysterious professor reveals the truth.

Book 1: After Z - For a decade, the world has known about the Immuno-Degenerative and Epidermal Decomposition Virus: Strain 2 (ImDED2), which turns the dead into cannibalistic zombies. Despite government efforts to control it, the virus finally unleashes a global pandemic. Lucky winners of a Powerball jackpot, Ryan Maxwell uses the family's newfound wealth to build the ultimate survival bunker. Follow the Maxwells and friends as they live through the end of the world, wondering if money can truly buy their safety after the apocalypse arrives.

Alistair’s life is turned upside down when he is abruptly separated from his friends and family. As the universe slowly transforms and new laws take hold, everyone within his universe is cast into the trial—a crucible of survival and transformation. Before being set on his path, Alistair encounters a system avatar—a brief and enigmatic guide who offers little explanation, guidance, or aid before sending him and the rest of his universe into the unknown.

Clunk, a clapped-out robot, is convinced he's about to be junked. Instead, his penny-pinching boss is sending him off to be refurbished. Being old and wise, Clunk knows there's a catch, but at first it doesn't seem too bad. He just has to help a freelancer pick up some cargo. Unfortunately, Hal Spacejock - the freelancer - is obstinate, over-confident, and woefully under-skilled, and he's never going to let a lowly robot fly his precious ship. Is there any chance this pair of misfits can lift off, collect the cargo and deliver it in one piece?

Long before he was a knight in the apocalypse, Tommy was preparing for the end of the world. His friends grew concerned for his well-being and planned to intervene. It wasn’t so much that he was preparing, it was what he was preparing for.

Whether he’s underwriting for an overlord, or wearing a pocket protector in a pocket universe, Tom Stranger has just one policy: providing Quality Customer Service. No alien menace is too menacing, no galactic rift too rifty for the multiverse’s most-trusted Interdimensional Insurance Agent in these three brand-new adventures and two classic escapades.

For more than 150 years I've served the Kingdom of Sena. Through four Kings and a Queen. Two wars and a rebellion. I've founded and taught at a magic school. I've fought against beast waves and dungeon breaks. But now? Now, the one close friend I had left has passed. So, I'm done with their politics and their economics. The short and busy lives of humans are more burden than benefit on the weary soul of this half-elf.

I used to be the greatest Earth Mage in my world. The head of the entire Order of Architects. But the older you get, the more you come to realize that at some point, you need to retire, so that you can have the chance to enjoy a peaceful life and to cede your place to the young, some of whom have already turned two thousand years old . . .So that's what I did. But I failed to account for one thing: during the course of my long life, I'd accumulated too many enemies, and they had decided to spoil my retirement. So they died along with me. And I hope their deaths were final. But mine was not!

The Space Team Universe just got a whole lot darker. In an alien city torn apart by crooked cops and ruthless criminals, private detective, Dan Deadman, specializes in cases unusual and bizarre. Sure, he doesn't smell great, and he's technically been dead for quite some time, but if you've got a rampaging Hell-beast tearing up your street, or a portal to another dimension appearing in your bathroom, Dan's your man.

Join the Librarian as he does his best to make the post-apocalyptic world a better place by protecting the weak, fighting injustice, squaring off against a group of former renaissance fair workers who have established a kingdom in the Rocky Mountains, and so on. Can one man make a difference in the face of such murderous cannibals and super smart bears? Probably not.

Specially adapted for audio by the author. Fleabag meets I Am Legend in this extraordinary novel of one woman's survival in the face of the end of the world. Who will she be now that she is completely alone? THE END OF EVERYTHING WAS HER BEGINNING It's November 2022. The human race has been...

Modern technology is terrifying. The average smartphone carries out 3.36 billion instructions per second. The average person can carry out only one instruction in that time. Stop and think about that for a second. Sorry, that's two instructions; you won't be able to do that. But what if modern technology was... literally terrifying? What if there really was a ghost in the machine? Prepare to travel through the bad gateway as acclaimed actor, writer and comedian Tom Neenan (The Mash Report) finds out what horrors may be lurking in our apps and gadgets.