Showing results by narrator "Phil Thron" in All Categories

Cal Carver is having a bad day. Imprisoned and forced to share a cell with a cannibalistic serial killer, Cal thinks things can't possibly get any worse. He is wrong. It's not until two-thirds of the human race is wiped out and Cal is abducted by aliens that his day really starts to go downhill. Whisked across the galaxy, Cal is thrown into a team of some of the sector's most notorious villains and scumbags.

When sworn protectors of Earth, the Justice Platoon, are all horribly killed, their former arch-enemies come crawling out of the woodwork. Outnumbered, outgunned, and out of options, the US government has no choice but to activate the Sidekicks Initiative, dragging the Platoon's middle-aged ex-sidekicks out of retirement. Now these three reluctant, out of shape former child-wonders must work together to stop the rising tide of supervillainy, avenge their former mentors' deaths, and bring the world back from the brink of destruction. 

It’s been a year since the events in Niagara Falls. Things have generally gotten better in the wasteland and civilization is starting to take hold along the rivers. No one knows where the Librarian is, or if he’s alive, but there’s a man and a mastiff running passengers from Hannibal to Cairo that might have an idea as to what really happened. Life is starting to return to normal along the river if you don’t count the pirates and the sea monsters. But all of that is about to change and the end of the world may never be the same again.

Cal Carver and his Space Team may have lost their ship, but they haven't lost their knack for attracting trouble. Just hours after setting foot on a new planet, Cal and the crew find themselves caught up in an interplanetary kidnapping plot. Reuniting the suspiciously-silent young victim with her parents on their far-off home world will make Cal rich beyond his wildest dreams. Unfortunately, half the pirates and bounty hunters in the galaxy have the same idea, and they're more than happy to take the girl by force.

Suicide Squad meets Galaxy Quest, in this fast-paced, laugh-out-loud novel from the author the Independent calls, "the new Terry Pratchett." After saving an alien race and its god from a sentient zombie virus, Cal Carver and the crew of the Dread Ship Shatner are feeling pretty pleased with themselves. Unfortunately, the creator of the zombie virus is out for revenge, and has recruited the galaxy's deadliest - and oldest - assassin, Lady Vajazzle, to hunt Space Team down.

In an alien city torn apart by crooked cops and ruthless criminals, private detective Dan Deadman specializes in cases unusual and bizarre. Sure, he doesn't smell great, and he's technically been dead for quite some time, but if you've got a rampaging Hell-beast tearing up your street, or a portal to another dimension appearing in your bathroom, Dan's your man. After saving a mysterious young woman named Ollie from the clutches of something big, slimy, and unpleasant, Dan gets entangled in a missing child case.

The AI known as Reynolds is traversing the universe in search of the elusive Kurtherians, but when he realizes he needs a crew, he finds himself out of his element. 

Cal Carver's space team is broke. When they pick up a distress signal from a luxury space cruiser, they think their luck might be about to change. And it does; sadly, not in the way they'd hoped. Someone has detonated a time bomb aboard the cruiser - an experimental device designed to shatter time itself. As the team passes through the fragments, their personal timelines begin moving at very different speeds, and an ageing Cal is forced to live out decades aboard the ship surrounded by his now statuelike crewmates and the mutated, inbred descendants of the cruiser's former inhabitants.

They’ve taken everything from him. Now Jerry and Chewy are headed to Niagara Falls to take out the wasteland’s greatest villain once and for all. But The Librarian isn’t the only one looking for revenge. Several other post-apocalyptic nomadic warriors have experienced Invcitus’ horrors firsthand and are in town to find vengeance. The Bookkeepers have lived under the tyrant’s iron fist for far too long. They’re well informed, organized, and ready to strike. 

It’s the end of the world as you've never known it. Join the Librarian as he does his best to make the post-apocalyptic world a better place by protecting the weak, fighting injustice, squaring off against a group of former renaissance fair workers who have established a kingdom in the Rocky Mountains, and so on. Can one man make a difference in the face of such murderous cannibals and super smart bears? Probably not. 

While trying to stop a cyber-attacker stealing all Space Team's hard-earned money, the cyborg, Mech, unlocks a secret partition in his hard drive, revealing a mysterious set of coordinates. The co-ordinates lead the team to Funworld, a planet-sized theme park with a worrying number of artificially intelligent clownbots and a shocking disregard for Health & Safety. With no weapons, and a shapeshifter who can no longer shift-shape, Space Team's quest to unlock Funworld's mysteries leads them deep into the planet's core....

Sick of the stress, aggravation, and multiple genocides they've had to put up with lately, accidental space hero Cal Carver and his crew set off to start a new life in a distant corner of the galaxy. Six tedious days of warp-speed and board games later, they arrive in a sector filled with new hope, new opportunities, and new adventures. Too broke to take advantage of any of these things, they are forced to accept a series of increasingly demeaning jobs just to make ends meet.

The galaxy is at war, and Space Team just can't seem to stay out of trouble. Following one close-call too many, the team hides out on a tiny backwater moon, hoping the hostilities between Zertex and the Symmorium will all just blow over. But when first officer Loren's brother is taken prisoner and sentenced to death by the Symmorium, Cal and the others must make a choice - a choice that could spell the end of Space Team forever....

After saving the grim and gritty alien city of Down Here from something big, mean, and mind-bendingly horrible, Dan is looking forward to unwinding in the closest available bar. Annoyingly, the universe has other ideas. Instead, Dan finds himself investigating a cheating husband, two horrible murders, and the potential enslavement of everyone in the galaxy. With his caseload stretching his woefully limited detective skills, his car in pieces, and the whole "being dead" thing not doing him any favors, Dan has no choice but to ask his friends for help.

Cal Carver, petty-criminal turned space adventurer, is on a suicide mission - and he really hates suicide missions. But this time it's to save his best buddy, Splurt, who has been taken prisoner by the elderly assassin, Lady Vajazzle, and the evil Zertex corporation. When they discover that the ship carrying Splurt never made it to Zertex, their search leads them through a wormhole to a mysterious planet unlike any they have seen before. Will they survive this strange new world and finally find their friend? And, more importantly, does he even want to be found?

When a Weird Space Thing™ threatens to destroy planet Earth, Cal is determined to stop it. But when they get there, they find the place is still swarming with parasitic extra-terrestrial bugs, and that there isn't a whole lot left to save. While battling an unexpected ghost of the past, Cal is abducted by aliens. Again. Brought before their covert High Council, Cal is given a choice: save his Earth and doom countless others to oblivion, or sacrifice it, so that parallel Earths may live.

Accidental space adventurer Cal Carver has had a rough few months. He's fought spider-dragons, battled space clowns, and been repeatedly tortured by the galaxy's oldest assassin. And don't even get him started on the squirrel-tits. Now all that's behind him, Cal just wants to kick back and relax. The universe, however, has other ideas. He and his crew find themselves in possession of the Symmorium Sentience, a once god-like entity now stripped of its power.

Having journeyed through time in order to restore peace to the galaxy, Cal Carver and Space Team are a little dismayed to find out they may have inadvertently made things even worse...whoops.

John, Chris, and Erik are neighbors in the quaint subdivision of the Creeks of Sage Valley, Phase II. The three men happily live the typical suburban family life. Their only real problems have been with each other and the draconian rules of the HOA. But, all that changes when the dead rise from their graves and walk the Earth. Now, they must reluctantly join together to survive the spreading apocalypse and find their families. 

In the middle of the Gulf of Mexico, on a chain of manmade islands, Steve Bennett and his best friend, Paul, find themselves thrust into a world they doesn't understand, when they stumble upon a secret that could change the world forever. Their discovery puts the two friends in the sights of conspirators and killers, who will stop at nothing to see their plans fulfilled. Steve and Paul must evade the killers, escape the islands and save the world. Of course, they have no training, no allies, and no idea what they're doing.