In today’s episode, Torie breaks down why cycle breakers panic-agree to things they don’t want to do, why your body goes into survival mode when you try to set limits, and why allowing yourself to change your mind is a crucial part of healing.

Listen to learn:

• Why your nervous system floods when you’re put on the spot
• Why saying yes too quickly is a trauma response, not a personality flaw
• How to recognize when an impulsive commitment no longer aligns with your capacity
• Why changing your mind is a healthy, adult skill even if your parent “freaks out”
• How to start giving yourself permission to choose what’s right for you

• • •

If you’re ready for step-by-step support in breaking these patterns, start with my foundational course Confident Boundaries with Toxic Parents. This is the first place to begin if you want to learn how to set limits without spiraling and stop abandoning yourself to keep the peace.
https://www.confidentboundaries.com/course

Want bonus episodes and an ad-free listening experience? Join You’re Not Crazy: The Private Feed:
https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private

If this episode resonated, please leave a five-star review to help more cycle breakers find our show. Thank you!

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In this episode, we talk openly about cycle breaker shame, why it hits so hard after the holidays, and why these moments don’t define your growth. Listen to learn how to reconnect with the emotionally mature adult you’re working so hard to become.

If the holidays brought up guilt, boundary struggles, or old wounds with a toxic parent, the next step is getting grounded support. Start with the Confident Boundaries with Toxic Parents course. It’s your clear, structured roadmap for learning to set limits without collapsing into guilt or fear:
https://www.confidentboundaries.com/course

For bonus episodes, archived episodes, and an ad-free experience, join the You’re Not Crazy Private Feed:
https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private

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This week’s episode breaks down why the holidays bring up so much dread, why perfectionism shows up so strongly for cycle breakers, and how to stay grounded when your family triggers you.

Torie Wiksell, therapist and boundaries coach, shares:
• Why “not being triggered” is not the goal
• How perfectionism shows up for cycle breakers
• What’s actually in your control this week
• How to prepare for emotional flooding, guilt, and old survival mode
• A realistic definition of “success” for adult children of toxic parents
• How to navigate the holiday without dissociating or blaming yourself

This episode is your reminder that complicated emotions don’t mean you’re failing. They mean you’re human.

If you need more guidance this week, check out Confident Boundaries with Toxic Parents, Torie’s self-guided course that walks you step-by-step through setting boundaries, navigating guilt, and creating realistic strategies for dealing with toxic family dynamics.

When you enroll this week, you’ll also get her Holiday Survival Guide for free: a practical, trauma-informed roadmap for navigating the season with clarity and confidence.

Get immediate access at ConfidentBoundaries.com/course

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In today’s episode, Torie breaks down the 5 most common reasons boundaries with narcissistic, emotionally immature, and otherwise toxic parents fail, and the practical shifts that actually help them stick.

Want ad-free episodes, bonus episodes, and access to the full archive of You’re Not Crazy? Join the Private Feed for $5/month. It’s the easiest way to support the show and get more cycle-breaker support in your week.

Join here: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private

And if you need more support with your own toxic parent, check out Confident Boundaries with Toxic Parents, Torie’s self-guided course that walks you step-by-step through setting boundaries, navigating guilt, and creating realistic strategies for dealing with toxic family dynamics.

When you enroll this week, you’ll also get her Holiday Survival Guide for free: a practical, trauma-informed roadmap for navigating the season with clarity and confidence.

Get immediate access at ConfidentBoundaries.com/course

You deserve a peaceful holiday season, and you don’t have to wing it this year.

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In this episode of You’re Not Crazy, therapist and boundaries coach Torie Wiksell breaks down the difference between healthy guilt and the manipulative guilt toxic parents use to control you.

You’ll learn:

• Why guilt feels so overwhelming for adult children of narcissistic or emotionally immature parents
• How to recognize when guilt is being used as manipulation
• Practical steps to calm your body and stop guilt from driving your decisions

If you grew up walking on eggshells or still feel responsible for your parent’s emotions, this conversation will help you find clarity, self-trust, and relief.

Join here: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private

And if you need more support with your own toxic parent, check out Confident Boundaries with Toxic Parents, Torie’s self-guided course that walks you step-by-step through setting boundaries, navigating guilt, and creating realistic strategies for dealing with toxic family dynamics.

When you enroll this week, you’ll also get her Holiday Survival Guide for free: a practical, trauma-informed roadmap for navigating the season with clarity and confidence.

Get immediate access at ConfidentBoundaries.com/course

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As a therapist, boundaries coach, and cycle breaker herself, Torie shares the deeper truth behind these painful family dynamics: what really leads someone to end contact, how the media gets it wrong, and why accountability and power dynamics must be part of the conversation.

If you’ve ever been told you “abandoned” your family or felt judged for making the gut-wrenching decision to protect your peace, this episode will remind you that you’re not crazy — and that choosing yourself does not make you a selfish person.

We’ll cover:

• Why “family estrangement” has become a loaded, stigmatizing term

• The power imbalance between parents and adult children that not enough people are talking about

• The truth about why cycle breakers go no contact — and why it’s never impulsive

• How media narratives and even some therapists perpetuate shame

• A more honest, hopeful way to talk about healing family relationships

Resources Mentioned:

• The Confident Boundaries Membership— tools, workshops, and community support for cycle breakers: confidentboundaries.com/membership

• Torie's Holiday Survival Guide: confidentboundaries.com/holidayguide

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In this episode of You’re Not Crazy, therapist and boundaries coach Torie Wiksell shares the truth about how that same caretaking instinct keeps so many cycle breakers stuck. Torie opens up about her own experience navigating guilt, fear, and the pressure to protect the people in her family who hurt her—especially as she shares her own story publicly.

This conversation explores:

• How caretaking becomes a form of self-abandonment
• Why guilt doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong—it means you’re breaking a pattern
• What it actually looks like to stop managing everyone else’s emotions
• How to release responsibility for other people’s discomfort without losing your empathy

Torie’s reminder for this week:

“ It is not our job to comfort people we care about when they are uncomfortable with us taking care of ourselves.”

• The Holiday Survival Starter Bundle is $25 (includes the full Surviving the Holidays with a Toxic Parent guide + lifetime access to the Boundaries Helper GPT) →Get the Holiday Support You Deserve
• The Confident Boundaries Membership annual plan is $40 off + includes a free year of You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed →Only 100 Packages Available at this Price

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This episode explores the direct pipeline from narcissistic parenting to abusive partners. If you’ve ever blamed yourself for how you survived, this one’s for you.

Next steps for your healing (all at confidentboundaries.com):

• Join the Confident Boundaries Membership for coaching, workshops, and community ($23/mo or $230/yr)
• Get the $9 Holiday Guide to navigate toxic family dynamics this season
• Follow me on TikTok and Instagram

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