Episodes

  • 54. Too Overwhelmed to Reply - Unread Messages, Social Pressure & the Mental Load of Staying Connected

    54. Too Overwhelmed to Reply - Unread Messages, Social Pressure & the Mental Load of Staying Connected
    Sep 28 2026
    Ever felt like you’re too overwhelmed to reply? Like someone you genuinely love messaged you six days ago, you’ve thought about replying approximately 37 times... and somehow actually typing the words has become an impossible administrative task?Yeah. Us too.In this episode of Too Much Apparently, we (Carly and Alice — two therapists who seem to either reply immediately or approximately three working weeks later) get real about why something as supposedly simple as answering a message can feel like such a surprisingly big task.We unpack the hidden cognitive and emotional workload behind messaging — from task-switching and executive functioning to getting the tone “right”, remembering to reply, social expectations and the shame spiral that can begin once you’ve left it just a little bit too long. And we explore the messy balance between accepting our capacity and recognising that communication still matters in relationships.This time we talked about:🎙️ We’ve felt this thing too (and we still do): Hello opening a message and closing it again, mentally composing the reply while driving or showering, forgetting it exists, letting three days become three weeks, and being overwhelmed by the voice note you actually wanted to receive.👀 What it looks like in real life: Unread messages piling up, group-chat overwhelm, needing to check five other things before you can answer one question, carefully crafting the “right” tone, and thinking about replying every single day without actually doing it.🧠 Why our brains do it: Mental load, task-switching, executive functioning, ADHD and autistic experiences, limited capacity, social expectations, perfectionism and the pressure of being permanently reachable.🧍🏽‍♀️🧍🏻 The different ways it shows up: Replying instantly or weeks later, forgetting people you genuinely care about, finding professional emails strangely exhausting, over-apologising, or worrying that your silence is communicating something you never intended.🧰 Coping mechanisms: Marking messages unread, pinning conversations, scheduling reply time, using templates, sending a quick “I’ve seen this and I will reply” message, and having honest conversations about how you communicate.🌱 How to make peace with it: Maybe struggling to reply doesn’t mean you don’t care. But accepting that messaging is genuinely difficult doesn’t mean relationships stop needing care either. The aim might be finding ways to stay connected that work with your actual capacity — rather than waiting until you can communicate perfectly.Thanks for listening 💛💜🩷🩵🧡💬 New episodes every Monday.🎧 Follow now to join the conversation.🧡 CONNECT WITH US 🎙️ Podcast socials: → Instagram: @toomuchapparently → TikTok: @toomuchapparently → YouTube: Too Much, Apparently → Website: www.toomuchapparently.com→ Substack: Too Much, Apparently👩‍💻 Carly Radford: → Website: www.carlyradford.com → Instagram: @the_sensitivity_therapist👩🏻‍💻 Alice Tew: → Website: www.alicetew.com → Instagram: @reparentingwithalice📩 Email us: hello@toomuchapparently.com 🗓️ New episodes every MondayThis is a podcast that says: bring your too-muchness… we’re here for it.Disclaimer: Just a quick note to say this podcast isn’t therapy, and it’s not a substitute for professional support. We’re here to share ideas and experiences, but if you’re struggling, please reach out to a mental health professional or a support service near you.----------------------------------------------------------------------texting anxiety, overwhelmed by messages, replying to texts, ADHD texting, ADHD communication, executive dysfunction, task switching, mental load, autistic communication, neurodivergent podcast, ADHD podcast, autism podcast, overthinking podcast, friendship podcast, communication podcast, therapy podcast, sensitive people podcast, mental health podcast, Too Much Apparently podcast#ADHD #Overwhelm #TooMuchApparently
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    58 mins
  • 53. Too Fatigued to Keep Going - Burnout, Boundaries and the Myth of Laziness

    53. Too Fatigued to Keep Going - Burnout, Boundaries and the Myth of Laziness
    Sep 14 2026

    Ever felt like you're too fatigued to keep going, but you keep going anyway because stopping feels like failing?
    Yeah. Us too.
    In this episode of Too Much Apparently, we (Carly and Alice, two therapists and recovering perfectionists with squishy brains) get real about quitting, burnout and the "just push through" script most of us were handed without ever agreeing to it.
    We unpack our own resistance, spiral in real-time, and share what it's like to want to make something honest while also being scared it might be boring, cringe, too much or not enough.
    This time we talked about:
    🎙️ We've felt this thing too (and we still do): Alice quitting her A-levels three times, Carly dropping out of college over the walk to the bus stop, both of them quitting a theatre group they genuinely loved
    👀 What it looks like in real life: letting the gym membership lapse, going quiet on the group chat, building a 2am case for why that makes you lazy
    🧠 Why our brains do it: productivity being tied to worth from childhood, masking as an undiagnosed or newly diagnosed neurodivergent adult, being told "just keep going" by people who mean well but don't feel what you feel
    🧍🏽‍♀️🧍🏻 The different ways it shows up: chronic illness limiting what's possible rather than motivation being the problem, quitting something tied to your identity and grieving who you thought you'd become
    🧰 Coping mechanisms: naming "if people knew the whole story, they'd understand," adding small nourishing things instead of only stripping things away, tracking energy rather than guessing at it
    🌱 How to make peace with it: quitting the things that aren't right for you makes room for the things that are.

    Thanks for listening
    💛💜🩷🩵🧡

    Resources mentioned
    TheraSummit - Carly's talk "Beyond It's Just Anxiety: What Every Therapist Should Know About Working With Chronic Illness"


    💬 New episodes every other Monday.

    🎧 Follow now to join the conversation.


    🧡 CONNECT WITH US

    🎙️ Podcast socials:

    → Instagram: @toomuchapparently

    → TikTok: @toomuchapparently

    → YouTube: Too Much, Apparently

    → Website: www.toomuchapparently.com

    → Substack: Too Much, Apparently


    👩‍💻 Carly Radford:

    → Website: www.carlyradford.com

    → Instagram: @the_sensitivity_therapist


    👩🏻‍💻 Alice Tew:

    → Website: www.alicetew.com

    → Instagram: @reparentingwithalice


    📩 Email us: hello@toomuchapparently.com

    🗓️ New episodes every Monday


    This is a podcast that says: bring your too-muchness… we’re here for it.


    Disclaimer: Just a quick note to say this podcast isn’t therapy, and it’s not a substitute for professional support. We’re here to share ideas and experiences, but if you’re struggling, please reach out to a mental health professional or a support service near you.
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    55 mins
  • 52. Too Much, One Year Later - Anniversary Episode: One Year of Messiness, Vulnerability & Learning to Accept Ourselves

    52. Too Much, One Year Later - Anniversary Episode: One Year of Messiness, Vulnerability & Learning to Accept Ourselves
    Aug 31 2026
    Ever felt like you’re still too much even after years of trying to understand yourself?Yeah. Us too.In this special one-year anniversary episode of Too Much Apparently, we (Carly and Alice — two therapists with squishy brains who definitely do not have it all figured out) look back at a year of talking publicly about sensitivity, overthinking, neurodivergence, vulnerability and being human.We revisit our very first episode, reflect on what has changed (and what absolutely hasn’t), and ask what a year of being more open about our own messiness has taught us about self-acceptance, vulnerability and actually letting what we know about ourselves shape the lives we build.This time we talked about:🎙️ We’ve felt this thing too (and we still do): Hello knowing exactly why you do something and still doing it, giving advice you don’t always follow yourself, and discovering there is apparently no magical point where you become a Sorted Human.👀 What it looks like in real life: Becoming more accepting of yourself without necessarily finding life easier, getting more comfortable with vulnerability, saying “I don’t know”, and discovering that growth doesn’t always mean becoming less of who you are.🧠 Why our brains do it: Perfectionism, fear of judgement, the pressure to keep improving, and the hope that enough therapy, insight and self-awareness will eventually make everything fall neatly into place.🧍🏽‍♀️🧍🏻 The different ways it shows up: Big ideas and limited capacity, knowing yourself better but still struggling, becoming more confident in some spaces but not others, and learning that understanding yourself and accepting yourself aren’t quite the same thing.🧰 Coping mechanisms: Questioning the rules we think we have to follow, letting our limits matter, building our lives around what we actually know about ourselves, and occasionally attempting to practise what we preach.🌱 How to make peace with it: Maybe the goal isn’t to become less messy, sensitive or “too much”. Maybe it’s knowing yourself well enough to stop expecting yourself to be somebody else.So whether you've been here since Episode 1, found us somewhere in the middle, or currently have 37 episodes sitting in your "I'll catch up eventually" pile: thank you for being part of our first year 💛And as we head into year two, we're making a change of our own. Too Much Apparently is moving to fortnightly episodes for a while. Because after a year of talking about burnout, capacity, self-acceptance and building lives that work for our actual brains... it would be slightly ridiculous not to listen to ourselves.Thanks for listening 💛💜🩷🩵🧡💬 New episodes every Monday.🎧 Follow now to join the conversation.🧡 CONNECT WITH US 🎙️ Podcast socials: → Instagram: @toomuchapparently → TikTok: @toomuchapparently → YouTube: Too Much, Apparently → Website: www.toomuchapparently.com→ Substack: Too Much, Apparently👩‍💻 Carly Radford: → Website: www.carlyradford.com → Instagram: @the_sensitivity_therapist👩🏻‍💻 Alice Tew:→ Website: www.alicetew.com → Instagram: @reparentingwithalice📩 Email us: hello@toomuchapparently.com 🗓️ New episodes every MondayThis is a podcast that says: bring your too-muchness… we’re here for it.Disclaimer: Just a quick note to say this podcast isn’t therapy, and it’s not a substitute for professional support. We’re here to share ideas and experiences, but if you’re struggling, please reach out to a mental health professional or a support service near you.--------------------------------------------------------------self acceptance podcast, self awareness podcast, personal growth podcast, therapy podcast, sensitive people podcast, overthinking podcast, perfectionism podcast, vulnerability podcast, mental health podcast, neurodivergent podcast, autism podcast, ADHD podcast, burnout podcast, self improvement podcast, emotional podcast, deep chat podcast, therapist podcast, Too Much Apparently podcast
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    53 mins
  • 51. Too Conflicted About My Values - Ethical Guilt, Moral Perfectionism and Decision Fatigue

    51. Too Conflicted About My Values - Ethical Guilt, Moral Perfectionism and Decision Fatigue
    Aug 24 2026

    Ever felt like you're too conflicted to know what the right thing even is, because you care about so many things at once that none of them feels fully doable?
    Yeah. Us too.
    In this episode of Too Much Apparently, we (Carly and Alice - two therapists and recovering perfectionists with squishy brains) get real about what happens when your values start competing with each other, and with the world you actually have to live in.
    We unpack our own resistance, spiral in real-time, and share what it's like to want to make something honest while also being scared it might be boring / cringe / too much / not enough.
    This time we talked about:
    🎙️ We've felt this thing too (and we still do): Hello standing paralysed in front of 50 slugs in the rain, refusing to give money to Meta, and doing moral maths over a single tomato
    👀 What it looks like in real life: buying the cheaper less-ethical option because that's the budget, wanting to cause a fuss and being scared of being the troublemaker, feeling like a class traitor
    🧠 Why our brains do it: strong values held fiercely, all-or-nothing thinking, perfectionism, and living inside systems like capitalism that clash with what we care about
    🧍🏽‍♀️🧍🏻 The different ways it shows up: internal values that fight each other versus ongoing external conflicts we can't opt out of
    🧰 Coping mechanisms: capacity over perfection, deciding by the day, letting good enough actually be enough
    🌱 How to make peace with it: maybe there is no comfortable place to land, and feeling the weight of your choices is a sign of a working conscience, not a broken one

    Thanks for listening
    💛💜🩷🩵🧡


    Resources mentionedThe Good Place (Netflix)Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)


    💬 New episodes every Monday.

    🎧 Follow now to join the conversation.

    🧡 CONNECT WITH US

    🎙️ Podcast socials:

    → Instagram: @toomuchapparently

    → TikTok: @toomuchapparently

    → YouTube: Too Much, Apparently

    → Website: www.toomuchapparently.com

    → Substack: Too Much, Apparently


    👩‍💻 Carly Radford:

    → Website: www.carlyradford.com

    → Instagram: @the_sensitivity_therapist


    👩🏻‍💻 Alice Tew:

    → Website: www.alicetew.com

    → Instagram: @reparentingwithalice


    📩 Email us: hello@toomuchapparently.com

    🗓️ New episodes every Monday


    This is a podcast that says: bring your too-muchness… we’re here for it.


    Disclaimer: Just a quick note to say this podcast isn’t therapy, and it’s not a substitute for professional support. We’re here to share ideas and experiences, but if you’re struggling, please reach out to a mental health professional or a support service near you.
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    41 mins
  • 50. Too Tired to Be the Person I Want to Be - Burnout, Capacity, Grief & Letting Go of Your Ideal Self

    50. Too Tired to Be the Person I Want to Be - Burnout, Capacity, Grief & Letting Go of Your Ideal Self
    Aug 17 2026

    Ever felt like you're too tired to be the person you know you could be?

    Yeah. Us too.


    In this episode of Too Much Apparently, we (Carly and Alice — two therapists trying to make peace with bodies and brains that don't always match our ambitions) get real about the painful gap between who we want to be and what we actually have the capacity for.


    We explore burnout, chronic illness, neurodivergence, identity, grief, and why it's so hard to stop measuring yourself against a version of you that might never have existed in the first place. We also ask whether acceptance really means giving up—or whether it might actually be the thing that frees up the energy you've been spending fighting reality.


    This time we talked about:


    🎙️ We've felt this thing too (and we still do): Hello ambitious plans from the sofa, endless ideas with no energy to bring them to life, wondering if you're lazy, and grieving the distance between your dreams and your capacity.


    👀 What it looks like in real life: Feeling like you're wasting your potential, needing far more rest than other people, comparing yourself to impossible standards, burning out repeatedly, and constantly trying to "get back" to the version of yourself you think you should be.


    🧠 Why our brains do it: Identity, perfectionism, giftedness, burnout, chronic illness, autism, ADHD, capitalism, and a culture that teaches us our worth comes from what we produce rather than who we are.


    🧍🏽‍♀️🧍🏻 The different ways it shows up: Pushing through exhaustion, chasing the next productivity hack, believing there's a magic solution, feeling guilty for resting, struggling with acceptance, and feeling like you're constantly falling short of your "ideal self."


    🧰 Coping mechanisms: Experimenting with what genuinely supports your energy, questioning whether your goals still fit your life, allowing grief, reducing self-judgement, and slowly working towards acceptance without giving up hope.


    🌱 How to make peace with it: Maybe healing isn't becoming the person you imagined—it might be learning to value the person you already are, within the capacity you have today.


    Thanks for listening 💛💜🩷🩵🧡


    💬 New episodes every Monday.

    🎧 Follow now to join the conversation.


    🧡 CONNECT WITH US


    🎙️ Podcast socials:

    → Instagram: @toomuchapparently

    → TikTok: @toomuchapparently

    → YouTube: Too Much, Apparently

    → Website: www.toomuchapparently.com

    → Substack: Too Much, Apparently


    👩‍💻 Carly Radford:

    → Website: www.carlyradford.com

    → Instagram: @the_sensitivity_therapist


    👩🏻‍💻 Alice Tew:

    → Website: www.alicetew.com

    → Instagram: @reparentingwithalice


    📩 Email us: toomuchapparently@gmail.com

    🗓️ New episodes every Monday


    This is a podcast that says: bring your too-muchness… we're here for it.


    Disclaimer: Just a quick note to say this podcast isn’t therapy, and it’s not a substitute for professional support. We’re here to share ideas and experiences, but if you’re struggling, please reach out to a mental health professional or a support service near you.

    -----------------------------------------------------------


    burnout podcast, chronic illness podcast, therapy podcast, mental health podcast, fatigue podcast, gifted burnout, perfectionism podcast, autism podcast, ADHD podcast, neurodivergent podcast, self worth podcast, grief podcast, sensitivity podcast, Too Much Apparently podcast
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    41 mins
  • 49. Too Worried About Being Liked - Rejection Sensitivity, Rumination and Social Perfectionism

    49. Too Worried About Being Liked - Rejection Sensitivity, Rumination and Social Perfectionism
    Aug 10 2026

    Ever felt like you're too worried about being liked to just relax around people?Yeah. Us too.
    In this episode of Too Much Apparently, we (Carly and Alice - two therapists and recovering perfectionists with squishy brains) get real about the fear of not being liked, and how it's rarely as surface level as it sounds.
    We unpack our own resistance, spiral in real-time, and share what it's like to want to make something honest while also being scared it might be boring / cringe / too much / not enough.
    This time we talked about:
    🎙️ We've felt this thing too (and we still do): Hello replaying a two minute conversation 40 times, redrafting a text that just says "sounds good", and taking a "no" really personally
    👀 What it looks like in real life: overexplaining, watching yourself from outside during conversations, pointing out your own flaws first, and the post-social shame spiral
    🧠 Why our brains do it: we're wired to fear exclusion, and repeated rejection stacks up like beads on a thread until one small "no" carries the weight of all of them
    🧍🏽‍♀️🧍🏻 The different ways it shows up: masking, mimicry, chasing status, trying to spend your way to feeling enough, never quite fitting in
    🧰 Coping mechanisms: keeping ownership of whether you're likeable, "I'll be fine if they don't", checking in with a safe person, following de-influencers instead of the perfect ones
    🌱 How to make peace with it: being authentic works like a magnet, it repels the wrong people and draws in the ones who actually fit you

    Thanks for listening
    💛💜🩷🩵🧡


    Resources mentioned

    • Myers-Briggs personality types
    • @OrdinaryEmm_


    💬 New episodes every Monday.

    🎧 Follow now to join the conversation.

    🧡 CONNECT WITH US

    🎙️ Podcast socials:

    → Instagram: @toomuchapparently

    → TikTok: @toomuchapparently

    → YouTube: Too Much, Apparently

    → Website: www.toomuchapparently.com

    → Substack: Too Much, Apparently


    👩‍💻 Carly Radford:

    → Website: www.carlyradford.com

    → Instagram: @the_sensitivity_therapist


    👩🏻‍💻 Alice Tew:

    → Website: www.alicetew.com

    → Instagram: @reparentingwithalice


    📩 Email us: hello@toomuchapparently.com

    🗓️ New episodes every Monday


    This is a podcast that says: bring your too-muchness… we’re here for it.


    Disclaimer: Just a quick note to say this podcast isn’t therapy, and it’s not a substitute for professional support. We’re here to share ideas and experiences, but if you’re struggling, please reach out to a mental health professional or a support service near you.
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    57 mins
  • 48. Too Overwhelmed to Go on Holiday - Travel, Pressure & the Hidden Stress of Holidays

    48. Too Overwhelmed to Go on Holiday - Travel, Pressure & the Hidden Stress of Holidays
    Aug 3 2026
    Ever felt like you're too overwhelmed to go on holiday?Yeah. Us too.In this episode of Too Much Apparently, we (Carly and Alice — two therapists who love travelling but often find everything around it exhausting) get real about why holidays aren't always the relaxing escape people imagine. For many sensitive, autistic, ADHD and chronically ill people, travelling can involve weeks of planning, uncertainty, sensory overload, disrupted routines and recovering afterwards.We explore the hidden emotional and practical workload behind going away, how travel can place huge demands on your nervous system, and why meeting your needs doesn't make you "high maintenance"—it helps you actually enjoy the holiday you've spent so much time and money planning.This time we talked about:🎙️ We've felt this thing too (and we still do): Hello endless holiday research, spreadsheets comparing hotels, overthinking every detail, worrying about airports, needing to unpack immediately, and secretly needing a holiday to recover from your holiday.👀 What it looks like in real life: Packing for every possible scenario, planning around sensory needs, struggling with unfamiliar beds, food, smells and routines, feeling overwhelmed by airports, needing recovery days afterwards, and finding yourself dreading the logistics more than looking forward to the trip.🧠 Why our brains do it: Autistic differences, ADHD, chronic illness, uncertainty, transitions, sensory processing, executive functioning, and nervous systems that naturally need more predictability and preparation than many people realise.🧍🏽‍♀️🧍🏻 The different ways it shows up: Needing detailed plans, researching everything in advance, feeling guilty about using accommodations like Sunflower Lanyards, worrying about things going wrong, struggling to switch into holiday mode, or feeling overwhelmed when you return home again.🧰 Coping mechanisms: Planning holidays around your actual needs rather than other people's expectations, requesting accommodations, allowing recovery time, reducing pressure to "make the most of every minute", and recognising the difference between genuine needs and unnecessary self-pressure.🌱 How to make peace with it: Maybe the goal isn't learning to holiday like everyone else. Maybe it's creating a version of travel that genuinely works for your brain, your body and your nervous system.Thanks for listening 💛💜🩷🩵🧡💬 New episodes every Monday.🎧 Follow now to join the conversation.🧡 CONNECT WITH US 🎙️ Podcast socials: → Instagram: @toomuchapparently → TikTok: @toomuchapparently → YouTube: Too Much, Apparently → Website: www.toomuchapparently.com→ Substack: Too Much, Apparently👩‍💻 Carly Radford: → Website: www.carlyradford.com → Instagram: @the_sensitivity_therapist👩🏻‍💻 Alice Tew: → Website: www.alicetew.com → Instagram: @reparentingwithalice📩 Email us: hello@toomuchapparently.com 🗓️ New episodes every MondayThis is a podcast that says: bring your too-muchness… we’re here for it.Disclaimer: Just a quick note to say this podcast isn’t therapy, and it’s not a substitute for professional support. We’re here to share ideas and experiences, but if you’re struggling, please reach out to a mental health professional or a support service near you.----------------------------------------------------------------travel anxiety podcast, autism podcast, ADHD podcast, holiday anxiety podcast, sensory overload podcast, chronic illness podcast, neurodivergent podcast, therapy podcast, mental health podcast, sensitivity podcast, overthinking podcast, travel podcast, Too Much Apparently podcast
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    53 mins
  • 47. Too Out of Control Around Food - Binge Eating, ADHD and Why Willpower Was Never The Problem

    47. Too Out of Control Around Food - Binge Eating, ADHD and Why Willpower Was Never The Problem
    Jul 27 2026
    Ever felt like you're too out of control around food to trust yourself, promising tomorrow will be different and then feeling like a failure when it isn't?Yeah. Us too.In this episode of Too Much Apparently, we (Carly and Alice - two therapists and recovering perfectionists with squishy brains) sit down with our first ever guest, Sarah Dosanjh, a psychotherapist who specialises in binge eating and knows it from the inside. We get real about why food becomes the thing holding everything together, and why willpower was never the problem.We unpack our own patterns, spiral in real-time, and share what it's like to want a calmer relationship with food while a part of your brain keeps shouting that something's wrong with you.This time we talked about:🎙️ We've felt this thing too (and we still do): Hello late-night eating, buying 10 times more than we need, and eating to cope at a buffet👀 What it looks like in real life: eating to feel safe, eating to rest, eating to procrastinate, and going round the same "tomorrow will be different" cycle🧠 Why our brains do it: food calms the nervous system, ADHD brains chase dopamine, and shame quietly runs the show🧍🏽‍♀️🧍🏻 The different ways it shows up: comfort eating, emotional eating, overeating, binge eating, and the overlap with ADHD🧰 Coping mechanisms: the reactionary gap, building a rhythm instead of a rigid plan, anchor meals, and planning for the days you fall off🌱 How to make peace with it: your patterns are not personal, and curiosity gets you further than willpower ever will.Thanks for listening💛💜🩷🩵🧡Resources mentionedSarah Dosanjh: thebingeeatingtherapist.comSarah on YouTube and Instagram: @the_binge_eating_therapistSarah's book: I Can't Stop EatingPodcasts: Life After Diets, Feelings and Other InconveniencesSarah's live 6-week ADHD and binge eating courseGeneen RothJudson BrewerIntuitive Eating💬 New episodes every Monday.🎧 Follow now to join the conversation.🧡 CONNECT WITH US 🎙️ Podcast socials: → Instagram: @toomuchapparently → TikTok: @toomuchapparently → YouTube: Too Much, Apparently → Website: www.toomuchapparently.com→ Substack: Too Much, Apparently👩‍💻 Carly Radford: → Website: www.carlyradford.com → Instagram: @the_sensitivity_therapist👩🏻‍💻 Alice Tew: → Website: www.alicetew.com → Instagram: @reparentingwithalice📩 Email us: hello@toomuchapparently.com 🗓️ New episodes every MondayThis is a podcast that says: bring your too-muchness… we’re here for it.Disclaimer: Just a quick note to say this podcast isn’t therapy, and it’s not a substitute for professional support. We’re here to share ideas and experiences, but if you’re struggling, please reach out to a mental health professional or a support service near you.
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    1 hr and 13 mins