4:17am. Less than an hour of recording. Nine episodes in.

NOT Episode NINE is where the energy shifts — because the finish line is visible and something clicks. Excitement isn't a nice-to-have in creative work. It's the whole engine. Without it, why bother?

Derrick reflects on the times he's forced himself through boring, uninspiring creative work because he thought he had to — and decides, definitively, that his own passion project doesn't get that treatment. This one gets built with excitement or it doesn't get built at all.

In this not-episode:

• What it feels like to be one episode away from actually doing the thing
• Why excitement is a non-negotiable ingredient in creation — not a luxury
• The myth that serious creative work has to feel like a grind
• A new framework: drop episodes in batches of 10, on no particular schedule

One more to go. This might actually be a thing.

This Is NOT a PODCAST! is hosted by not-your-host Derrick Yanford — meditation teacher, coach, choreographer, author, and recovering perfectionist. New not-episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe on Substack at substack.com/@dureeko

A long pause. A phone that needed Face ID. And a second espresso shot that may or may not have had enough coffee in it.

NOT Episode EIGHT picks up right where the technical hiccup of Episode SEVEN left off — and turns it into a philosophy. Leave it. Don't reshoot. Don't apologize. If you missed it, you missed it.

Derrick shares a story from his days as Artistic Director of a pre-professional dance company in New York City, where he made a decision that changed how he showed up on camera forever: be exactly who you are in the room, whether the cameras are rolling or not.

He's bringing that same energy here.

In this not-episode:

• Why the long pause stays in — and what that decision really means
• The plan: publish all 10 episodes unedited, all at once, before the intensive starts
• A story from directing a dance company and deciding never to reshoot a scene
• Why "messy, not clean" is actually the whole point

100% real. Not going to be different. Not going to pretend. Not going to apologize.

This Is NOT a PODCAST! is hosted by not-your-host Derrick Yanford — meditation teacher, coach, choreographer, author, and recovering perfectionist. New not-episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe on Substack at substack.com/@dureeko

The espresso has arrived. Is it amazing? No. Is it doing the deed? Absolutely.

NOT Episode SEVEN is the most unexpectedly philosophical episode yet — and it starts with coffee. Two espresso machines: one automated, one a hand pump. One you walk away from, one you pour yourself into. And somewhere in that comparison, something real emerges about creativity, energy, and what it means to actually show up for your work.

Also: Face ID nearly ends the episode early. It does not succeed.

In this not-episode:

• An honest review of the travel espresso machine (spoiler: she's fine)
• Why the hand pump pulls a better shot — and what that has to do with creating
• The difference between automated and intentional — and why it matters
• What happens when your phone demands Face ID mid-recording

Espresso. Metaphors. Zero apologies.

This Is NOT a PODCAST! is hosted by not-your-host Derrick Yanford — meditation teacher, coach, choreographer, author, and recovering perfectionist. New not-episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe on Substack at substack.com/@dureeko