The Widow’s Collective | Season Two: The Murky Middle

What does acceptance actually mean when your person has died?

You know they're gone, but there's still a part of you that doesn't want to let that reality all the way in.

Maybe acceptance feels like giving up on the life you thought you'd have. Maybe it feels like admitting just how much has changed, or you're afraid that accepting your reality means letting go of something you're not ready to let go of.

In this episode, we're exploring why acceptance can feel so uncomfortable and confronting in widowhood, what we might actually be resisting, and how to begin making room for the reality of our lives without having to feel okay about what happened.

Because accepting that something is true isn't the same as being okay with the fact that it's true.

In this episode, we'll explore:

• Why you can know your person has died and still instinctively expect them to be there.
• What happens when the permanence of your loss begins to land differently.
• The difference between accepting your reality and approving of what happened.
• Why enjoying your life doesn't mean you're leaving your person behind.
• Four ways to work with the tension around acceptance, including separating what happened from what you believe it means and learning to hold two truths at once.

You'll also find questions to reflect on as you navigate your own relationship with acceptance:

• What am I actually struggling to accept right now?
• What am I afraid accepting it would mean?
• Can I acknowledge what's true without requiring myself to feel okay about it?

You don't have to convince yourself that what happened was okay. You don't have to stop wishing things were different. And you don't have to figure out how to live the rest of your life today.

You can be learning to live with your reality without having to like it.

Big hugs and lots of love.

Work With Me

If you're navigating the murky middle of widowhood and trying to understand who you are, what matters to you, and what comes next, I'd love to support you.

Through my grief coaching and group experiences, I help widows explore the evolving nature of grief, navigate life after loss, and make space for the questions, changes, and possibilities that emerge along the way.

You don't have to have everything figured out to begin exploring what's next.

Website: https://laurenlentz.com

Instagram: @imsorrywerefriends

The Widow’s Collective is a space for honest conversations about grief, identity, and learning to live a life you never would have chosen.

"When life gives you lemons, bring ’em to the table."

Can You Make Room for Joy While You're Still Grieving? | A Conversation with Dana Frost

What if you didn't have to wait until you felt better to experience something good?

In this episode of The Widow’s Collective, I'm joined by Dana Frost, a widow, two-time cancer survivor, creative mind, and the woman behind Joy Scout Project (formerly the Forced Joy Project). She's also the co-founder of Widows in the Wild and the creator of the Book of Stories.

Together, we explore what it means to intentionally create moments of joy while still living with immense grief and pain.

Because when you're navigating the murky middle of widowhood, joy can feel complicated. You can laugh and then feel guilty. You can have a beautiful day and wonder if you're somehow moving too far away from the person you lost. You can want to experience life again while feeling uncertain about who you are becoming.

But what if joy doesn't mean you're no longer grieving? What if it doesn't erase your love or mean you're moving on?

In our conversation, Dana shares her experience with Forced Joy, what it looked like to intentionally create opportunities for joy after her husband's death, and how we can begin making room for experiences that feel good without pretending we're okay when we're not.

In this episode, we explore:

• The murky middle of widowhood and the space between surviving and knowing what's next.
• How the idea of Forced Joy evolved after the death of Dana's husband.
• The difference between forcing yourself to feel happy and intentionally creating opportunities for joy.
• Why taking action can sometimes help us feel more ready, rather than waiting until we feel ready to begin.
• The guilt that can accompany laughter, happiness, and moments of feeling good after loss.
• How to let your life get bigger without making your person's place in it smaller.
• The Book of Stories and the importance of continuing to carry your person's story with you.
• What to consider if you're not ready for joy yet, or simply don't want to force anything.

This conversation isn't about putting on a happy face, bypassing grief, or convincing yourself that everything is okay.

It's about getting curious about what else might be possible, even when grief is still very much a part of your life.

You don't have to know who you're becoming. You don't have to have a plan. And you don't have to feel joyful before you begin.

Maybe you can simply start by making a little room for something that feels good.

Because you are allowed to experience joy and still love and miss your person deeply.

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CONNECT WITH LAUREN

Instagram: @imsorrywerefriends
Website: laurenlentz.com

You can find information about my grief coaching, Re-Imagine group program, retreats, self-guided resources, and other ways to work with me on my website.

CONNECT WITH DANA

Follow Dana and explore her work around intentionally creating room for joy after loss.

Instagram: @JoyScoutProject

The Book of Stories

Explore Dana's Book of Stories, a meaningful way to preserve your person's stories and continue carrying them with you as your own life unfolds.

Book of Stories: [Insert link to the Book of Stories]

Thank you for being here!

Xoxo,

Lauren

Welcome back to The Widow’s Collective.

After taking a few months away from the podcast, I’m back - and Season 2 is going somewhere a little different.

Season 1 lived in the acute season of grief: the fog, the shock, the survival, and the overwhelming newness of losing your person.

But what happens after that?

What happens when the waves of grief begin to come farther apart...but the space between them isn't necessarily peaceful?

That’s where we’re going this season.

The murky middle.

The space between survival and whatever comes next.

In this episode, we talk about:

• The difference between acute grief and the murky middle
• The metaphor of grief as waves - and what happens when there is more space between them
• The strange experience of noticing more as the shock and numbness begin to shift
• The duality of grief and life existing at the same time
• Wanting things again - and questioning whether you're allowed to want them
• Changing relationships and the loneliness that can come with being further out from the loss
• Anxiety, nervous system disruption, and the loss of safety
• Why the years following survival can feel hard in an entirely different way
• What I mean by re-emergence
• Why this season will explore the messy, complicated space where grief and life coexist

A question to take with you:

What are you noticing right now?

Not what you should be doing.

Not where you think you should be by now.

Just...

What are you noticing?

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Stay connected

Instagram: @imsorrywerefriends
Website: laurenlentz.com

You can find information about my grief coaching, Re-Imagine group program, retreats, self-guided resources, and other ways to work with me on my website.

If this episode resonated with you, subscribe to The Widow’s Collective, leave a review, or share it with another widow who might need to hear that the space between the waves can be complicated, too.

About Lauren

Lauren Lentz is a Certified Grief Coach, widow, former educator, and host of The Widow’s Collective. After losing her husband, Kevin, in 2019, Lauren found herself navigating not only the devastation of grief, but the complicated process of becoming a different version of herself.

Today, she works with women navigating life after loss, helping them make space for grief while also exploring identity, desire, purpose, relationships, and the life that is still unfolding.

Because grief and life can coexist.