Ask The Lemon Tree Coaching Podcast a Question. Text the TLT Pod today.

Sometimes the bravest thing we do isn’t starting over…
It’s starting over again.

In today’s five-minute bonus episode, Dr. Allison Sucamele offers a gentle guided meditation for anyone in a season of rebuilding, recalibrating, or beginning again - not because you failed, but because your life is calling you back to honesty.

This is a quiet place to land if you’re tired, tender, and still willing to try.

Together, we explore:

• why resilience is a process, not a personality trait
• how perfectionism often shows up as protection
• why renewal isn’t an interruption - it’s a cycle
• and a simple 3-breath ritual to help you release, forgive, and begin again gently

If you’ve been carrying pressure to “do it right this time,” let this episode remind you: growth is allowed to be messy… and you are allowed to be human.

Resources Mentioned / Related Listening & Reading

📚 Books

• The Gifts of Imperfection — Brené Brown
• Self-Compassion — Dr. Kristin Neff
• Mindset — Dr. Carol Dweck
• Atomic Habits — James Clear (for gentle rebuilding, identity-based change)

🧠 Psychology & Nervous System

• Polyvagal Theory work — Dr. Stephen Porges
• Anchored — Deb Dana (nervous system regulation + safety cues)

🎧 Supportive Practices

• Breathwork for grounding + regulation
• “Rupture and repair” reflection: Where can I return to myself with gentleness?

Gentle Disclaimer

This podcast is for educational and supportive purposes and is not a substitute for mental health treatment. If you are struggling or in crisis, please contact your local emergency services. In the U.S., you can call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline).

Ask The Lemon Tree Coaching Podcast a Question. Text the TLT Pod today.

The Seven Year Itch is often remembered as a playful 1950s comedy, but psychologically, it’s something much deeper. In this episode, Dr. Allison Sucamele explores what the film reveals about repression, fantasy, projection, and the emotional restlessness that can arise when identity stagnates inside a life that feels too small.

We unpack how postwar gender roles created “contained” lives where desire wasn’t discussed, only displaced, and how fantasy can become a coping strategy when agency and self-expression feel unsafe. Through a psychodynamic and Jungian lens, we explore projection and the loss of personhood, especially in how Marilyn Monroe’s character becomes a symbol rather than a fully seen human being.

This episode also reframes the cultural concept of the “seven-year itch” through developmental psychology, exploring Erikson’s generativity vs. stagnation and how the psyche often demands movement when growth has been postponed. Ultimately, this isn’t an episode about judging desire - it’s about listening to what desire is trying to say beneath the surface.

Because sometimes the real temptation isn’t another person.
It’s the version of you that wants to come alive again.

📚 Resources Mentioned / Aligned

Books (Identity, Desire, Meaning)

• Untamed — Glennon Doyle
• The Gifts of Imperfection — Brené Brown
• Man’s Search for Meaning — Viktor Frankl
• Women Who Run With the Wolves — Clarissa Pinkola Estés

Psychological Frameworks (Referenced in Episode)

• Psychodynamic theory (repression, unconscious conflict)
• Jungian psychology (projection, shadow, disowned self)
• Erikson’s stages of psychosocial development (generativity vs. stagnation)
• Attachment theory (especially avoidant patterns + fear of vulnerability)
• Existential psychology (authorship, responsibility, meaning-making)

Extra Depth

• Donald Winnicott — False Self / True Self concepts
• Objectification + trauma-informed perspectives on identity erosion

⚠️ Brief Disclaimer

This podcast episode is for educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health care. If you are struggling or in emotional distress, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional or a trusted support resource. In the U.S., you can call or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. International listeners can visit findahelpline.com for local support.

Ask The Lemon Tree Coaching Podcast a Question. Text the TLT Pod today.

In this episode of The Lemon Tree Coaching Podcast, Dr. Allison Sucamele explores the psychology of why micromanaging doesn’t work, and why, in education especially, it often creates the exact opposite of what teachers are trying to accomplish.

Micromanaging may look like responsibility, but psychologically it doesn’t produce capable, confident learners. Instead, it activates a threat response in students.

When students feel watched and evaluated, their nervous systems shift out of learning mode because learning thrives under safety, not surveillance.

Resources

Teachers Pay Teacher - The Lemon Tree by AKS

Instagram @thelemontreecoaching

Disclaimer: This podcast episode is for educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, mental health treatment, or professional advice. If you are in crisis, struggling with thoughts of self-harm, or need immediate support, please call or text 988 (U.S. Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) or go to your nearest emergency room.

Ask The Lemon Tree Coaching Podcast a Question. Text the TLT Pod today.

Pick-up lines are often dismissed as corny or performative, but beneath the humor and awkwardness lies something deeply human. In this episode, Dr. Allison Sucamele explores the psychology behind pick-up lines and what they actually reveal about fear, vulnerability, impression management, and our nervous systems under attraction.

This episode reframes pick-up lines not as tricks to impress, but as tools people use to manage uncertainty and emotional risk. We unpack why scripts can feel safer than spontaneity, when humor helps or hurts attraction, and how authenticity isn’t about being unscripted - it’s about being aligned.

Ask The Lemon Tree Coaching Podcast a Question. Text the TLT Pod today.

In today’s short bonus episode, we explore a message many of us were taught early and often: be polite, keep the peace, don’t make things uncomfortable.
But what happens when politeness comes at the cost of safety?

From a psychological and nervous-system perspective, politeness is a learned survival strategy. For many women, children, and people raised in emotionally unpredictable environments, being agreeable once helped maintain connection or reduce harm. It worked - until it didn’t.

Your nervous system, however, has always been paying attention. Long before you had language for boundaries, your body learned how to scan for safety through tone of voice, facial expressions, proximity, and unpredictability. When something feels off, the body knows first.

Drawing on Polyvagal Theory, the work of Gavin de Becker, and insights from Harriet Lerner, this episode explores how intuition isn’t mystical - it’s pattern recognition - and why overriding it can lead to chronic anxiety, people-pleasing, hypervigilance, and emotional exhaustion.

We also break down why a longer exhale matters from a physiological standpoint - how slow breathing directly supports vagal regulation, signals safety to the brainstem, and helps the body settle before the mind can follow.

This episode is an invitation to gently ask: Where in my life have I stayed polite when my body was asking for distance?

You don’t owe comfort at the expense of safety.
A boundary doesn’t require justification.
And intuition doesn’t need proof to be valid.

Your intuition was never designed to make you likable.
It was designed to protect you.

🍋 Connect & Continue the Conversation

• The Lemon Tree Coaching Podcast on Instagram

📚 Resources Mentioned

• The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker
• The Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner
• Polyvagal Theory — Dr. Stephen Porges
• Gentle nervous system regulation practices: slow breathing, extended exhales, humming, sighing

Disclaimer:
This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. Listening to this episode does not establish a therapist–client relationship. If you are experiencing distress, trauma-related symptoms, or feel unsafe, please consider seeking support from a qualified mental health professional or local support services. Always trust your judgment and prioritize your safety.

Ask The Lemon Tree Coaching Podcast a Question. Text the TLT Pod today.

In this episode of The Lemon Tree Coaching Podcast, Dr. Allison Sucamele explores a subtle but powerful distinction that shapes relationships, burnout, and self-worth: the difference between authentic kindness and people pleasing.

On the surface, they can look identical - being helpful, agreeable, and generous. But internally, they come from very different places. Authentic kindness is rooted in choice, alignment, and self-respect. People pleasing is driven by fear, survival, and the nervous system’s need for safety.

Together, we unpack:

• How people pleasing often develops as a trauma-informed survival response (including the fawn response)
• Why women and trauma survivors are especially conditioned to prioritize others over themselves
• The psychological cost of chronic self-abandonment
• Practical litmus tests to tell whether your “yes” is grounded or fear-based
• Gentle ways to begin setting boundaries without guilt or losing connection

This episode is an invitation to move toward a kinder, more honest way of relating - one where generosity doesn’t require self-erasure, and boundaries and compassion work together.

As always, this episode is for education and reflection, not a substitute for therapy or medical advice. If you’re in emotional distress, please reach out to a licensed professional or call/text 988 in the U.S. for 24/7 support.

References & Resources

People Pleasing, Codependency & Trauma

• Harriet Braiker, The Disease to Please
  https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/60497.The_Disease_to_Please
  
  
• Psychology Today – The Fawn Response
  https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/fight-flight-freeze
  
  
• Psych Central – Fawning Trauma Response
  https://psychcentral.com/health/fawn-response
  
  

Self-Compassion

• Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion
  https://self-compassion.org
  
  
• Free Self-Compassion Scale & practices
  https://self-compassion.org/self-compassion-test
  
  

Boundaries & Assertiveness

• Robert Alberti & Michael Emmons, Your Perfect Right
  https://www.amazon.com/Your-Perfect-Right-Assertiveness/dp/1891280010
  
  
• Nedra Glover Tawwab, Set Boundaries, Find Peace
  https://www.nedratawwab.com
  
  

Additional Mental Health Support

• U.S. Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988
  https://988lifeline.org

Social Media Links
The Lemon Tree Coaching Podcast
Instagram
Twitter

Teacher Resources (really, for anyone)
The Lemon Tree by AKS
Box Breathing

Ask The Lemon Tree Coaching Podcast a Question. Text the TLT Pod today.

In today’s bonus episode of The Lemon Tree Coaching Podcast, Dr. Allison Sucamele offers a short, grounding reflection on something many of us don’t realize we’re still living by: old emotional rules.

These are the quiet, unspoken agreements we made early in life about what it takes to stay safe, loved, or accepted - rules like don’t be too much, stay useful, don’t need anyone, keep the peace, or feel later. From a psychological lens, these rules weren’t flaws. They were adaptations. Your nervous system learned them in response to real environments and real constraints, and they helped you survive.

But psychology also reminds us of something important: what once protected you can later imprison you.

In this gentle reflection, we explore how the brain and nervous system hold onto outdated instructions, why insight alone isn’t enough to create change, and how healing happens through safety, permission, and small corrective emotional experiences. Rewriting emotional rules isn’t about erasing the past - it’s about updating the operating system so it fits the life you’re building now.

This episode invites you to slow down, notice which rule might be running in the background, and experiment with offering yourself one small exception. Change doesn’t begin with force. It begins with permission. 🍋

Mental Health Resources (U.S.)

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline – Call or text 988 for immediate emotional support
• Crisis Text Line – Text HOME to 741741
• SAMHSA National Helpline – 1-800-662-HELP (4357) for mental health and substance use support

If you are outside the U.S., please check local crisis resources in your country.

Brief Disclaimer
This podcast is for educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, diagnosis, or medical care. Healing and nervous system work are deeply personal, and everyone’s experience is unique. If this episode brings up distress or overwhelming emotions, consider reaching out to a qualified mental health professional or trusted support.

Ask The Lemon Tree Coaching Podcast a Question. Text the TLT Pod today.

In today’s episode of The Lemon Tree Coaching Podcast, we explore something deeply foundational to mental health, relationships, and identity: emotional processing.

Not managing emotions.
Not suppressing them.
Not intellectualizing them away.

But allowing emotions to move through the body so they can integrate rather than accumulate.

We talk about why unprocessed emotions don’t disappear - they leak into the body, the nervous system, our thinking, and our relationships - and how chronic emotional suppression is linked to anxiety, burnout, numbness, and cognitive fatigue.

Drawing from psychology, neuroscience, trauma research, and attachment theory, this episode breaks down what emotional processing actually means and why resistance drains more energy than feeling ever could.

This episode offers grounded, psychology-informed ways to let emotions like sadness, anger, fear, and grief complete their natural cycles - without overwhelm, avoidance, or self-judgment. If you’ve ever felt emotionally foggy, exhausted from “holding it together,” or disconnected from your body, this conversation is for you.

📚 References & Learning Resources

• Brown, B. (2021). Atlas of the Heart
• May, K. (2020). Wintering
• van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score
• Lieberman, M. et al. (2007). Putting feelings into words: Affect labeling and the amygdala
• Pennebaker, J. (1997). Expressive writing and emotional processing
• Porges, S. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory

🧠 Mental Health & Emotional Support Resources

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (U.S.) – Call or text 988
• Psychology Today Therapist Directory – https://www.psychologytoday.com
  
  
• Somatic Experiencing International – https://traumahealing.org
  
  
• National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) – https://www.nami.org
  
  

(If you’re outside the U.S., please check local crisis and mental-health services in your country.)

⚠️ Gentle Disclaimer

The Lemon Tree Coaching Podcast is for educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, diagnosis, or medical treatment. Each listener’s experience is unique. Please take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and care for yourself with compassion. If you’re experiencing significant distress or feel unsafe, seek support from a licensed mental-health professional or local emergency services.