Driving through Newcastle in the rain, I found myself asking the question I hate considering after recording: what if being honest does more harm than good?

This episode is about loneliness, uncertainty, and the fear that some parts of life might never happen the way you imagined. I talk about living between Newcastle and Wodonga, long days in trucks, coming home exhausted, and wondering whether relationships, family and friendships are realistic goals for me, or whether my life is taking a different path. A path that’s clearly defined and (hopefully) attainable, but missing so much.

I reflect on the realities of battling Autism, BPD, OCD, ADHD, bipolar II, anxiety, depression and the rest. How therapy and my obsessive efforts to understand myself have worked, and yet the strange paradox that insight can definitely help, but too much insight can trap you in your own head. And how this hyper awareness of my thoughts, emotions and behaviours has hindered me so much, yet helped immeasurably as well.

Finally I explain how I’m re-collaborating the podcast, and returning to episodes focused on the science of psychology, different therapeutic approaches and interventions, the academic research and what it can tell us about human behaviour, as well as further exploration of my past and the moments that have shaped who I am today. That means more Discharge Papers, more Psych Ward Stories, My Journal entries and episodes of those pivotal moments that explain so much of today.

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Created by Elliot Waters — Inspired by lived experience.
Mental health insights, real stories, real conversations.

The highway is supposed to be quiet, but my mind never is. On a 9pm drive from Newcastle down the Hume Highway (M31) toward Wodonga, I record another Highway Confessions and let you sit in the passenger seat that is usually empty. What starts as my favourite coping strategy for complex mental health quickly turns into the kind of deep thinking that can feel like standing too close to a fire, warm at first, then painful when you cannot pull away.

I talk honestly about loneliness, being single, and the fear that life will end with a list of regrets. From there I go straight into mortality and death anxiety, the stuff many people can filter out but I cannot. I share what it is like to carry those thoughts while trying to live a normal life, and why stress and mood can make the same themes feel heavier on some nights than others.

There is light in it too. I push back against the spiral with something real: meaning and purpose. I am going for my dream in trucking, and even when the job scares me, it is proof that I am not sitting still. Along the way I reflect on gratitude, mindfulness, positive psychology, and the spiritual questions that show up under the stars, including memories of my grandparents and thoughts about my dad.

If you have ever felt stuck in your head, this one will feel uncomfortably familiar in the best way. Subscribe to “The Dysregulated Podcast”, share it with a mate who needs it, and leave a review so more people who live with mental illness can find honest stories like this.

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Created by Elliot Waters — Inspired by lived experience.
Mental health insights, real stories, real conversations.

Six weeks into my new job and it’s been one long stretch of anxiety. I’m recording this on the Hume Highway, driving between Newcastle and Wodonga, finally explaining why I’ve gone quiet. I’ve thrown myself into learning truckin’ properly—Road Ranger gearboxes, reversing semi trailers, using the dogs annd chains. And the pressure? Relentless.

This episode dives into what it’s like starting from zero while your head is working against you. Perfectionism, imposter syndrome, and an inner critic that turns small corrections into “proof” you’re failing. I break down the two anxiety streams driving it all—performance anxiety, and the fear of not belonging.

Underneath it all is my meaning and purpose. This isn’t just a job, it’s tied to Resilient Roadways and something bigger. My vision. And it’s that meaning and purpose that keeps me going. But, it also raises the stakes. If I can pull this off? My legacy is assured. But if I fail, my very existence could be on the line once again.

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Instagram – @elliot.t.waters
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Created by Elliot Waters — Inspired by lived experience.
Mental health insights, real stories, real conversations.

After years focused on mental health, I’ve made the call to return to the transport industry. To try and live out my dream, but with a new sense of purpose.

In this episode, I unpack why; the pull of the highway, the reality of stepping back into an environment that still makes me anxious, and what it means to start again from the ground up. There’s no polished blueprint here yet, just an honest look at where I’m at and what I’m stepping into.

More importantly, this is the beginning of something bigger. I’m not leaving mental health advocacy and research behind — I’m bringing it with me, with the goal of connecting lived experience, psychology, and the realities of life on the road in a way that actually makes sense for the people doing the job. And if I can do that? Then hopefully the mental health of those in the industry will may be lifted.

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Instagram – @elliot.t.waters
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YouTube – The Dysregulated Podcast (Official Channel)

Created by Elliot Waters — Inspired by lived experience.
Mental health insights, real stories, real conversations.

It’s 2:40am on the highway, driving home to Newcastle. No planning or preparation with this one — just the road and all my mind has been contending with. The same obsessions, the same questions. But tonight? It’s gone up a gear.

I get into the deep stuff, the thoughts that have followed me for years — why do bad things happen to good people? — and where that leads: loneliness, relationships, and life back in transport. The fact that we all are carrying our own burdens, fighting our own battles. While I grapple in real time the injustice of it all. When it seems the world is asleep, my mind goes to work. Trying to solve the why, even though I know the answers are beyond my reach….

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Instagram – @elliot.t.waters
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Created by Elliot Waters — Inspired by lived experience.
Mental health insights, real stories, real conversations.

Some days are flat. The milestones drift. The questions feel heavier than they should. In this episode, I talk honestly about pressing pause on romance and pouring that energy into purpose — advocacy, community, and building work that actually fits the season I’m in.

We unpack life with multiple diagnoses — generalised anxiety, social anxiety, OCD, ADHD, autism, BPD, bipolar II — without turning identity into a checklist. Dysregulated Daily is my way of showing the real picture: the wins, the losses, and the long grey in between. Because when crisis hits, people don’t need perfect answers. They need someone to sit beside them. Go to ED. Wait the hours. Support beats speeches every time. Trust me.

I dig into stigma — especially around Borderline Personality Disorder, Schizophrenia, and Schizoaffective disorder — and why research needs to be translated into something human, usable, and real. With one in five Australians facing a diagnosable mental health condition, making care clearer and more navigable isn’t optional. It’s urgent. And it's in the public best interest.

I don’t have everything figured out. God, I am trying hard to figure it out though, But I’m steady on the mission. If this episode resonates, follow Dysregulated Daily, on Instagram, Facebook and YouTube share it with someone who needs it, and leave a rating so these conversations can reach further. And best of all? I got that little dopamine hit. So thank you!

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Follow The Dysregulated Podcast:
Instagram – @elliot.t.waters
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Created by Elliot Waters — Inspired by lived experience.
Mental health insights, real stories, real conversations.

Ever felt calmer in a roaring stadium than a quiet supermarket? In this episode, I unpack the strange maths of social anxiety and autism — and why a packed night at McDonald Jones Stadium can feel safer than a fluorescent aisle at Coles. I walk you through hyper-vigilance, sensory overload, and the stories my brain spins when I’m late, lost, or convinced someone’s in “my” seat. And underneath it all? Love. Love for the Newcastle Knights, for red and blue, and for the city that built me.

We talk social batteries — how sleep and solitude recharge them, but not always in time for kickoff. When that battery’s low, catastrophising creeps in fast. Small unknowns become full-blown internal conflict scenes. But there’s a second battery too: passion. Identity. Ritual. Loyalty. The chants, the banter, the stubborn belief the ref needs a reminder about the offside rule. Sometimes it’s magic. Sometimes I’m completely cooked by halftime. Both are true.

I also share the story behind my Pride of the Hunter banner — why it fires me up, why people look for it on TV, and why part of me still worries I’m in the way. If you live with anxiety or sensory sensitivity, you’ll recognise the push-pull of doing what you love while your nervous system screams no. The takeaways? Anchor to values. Accept the nerves. Convert adrenaline into purpose. And plan recovery like it matters — because it absolutely does.

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Instagram – @elliot.t.waters
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Created by Elliot Waters — Inspired by lived experience.
Mental health insights, real stories, real conversations.

Right, picture this. It’s 2:30am. I’ve been bounced off half of Sydney’s motorways on the way back from Albury-Wodonga, the NSW/VIC border, and I’m talking myself through a full-blown panic attack because, well, everyone else is asleep. Zzzz

Today started as a quick meet and greet and hit top gear — strapping freight, riding in an Kenworth and remembering why I love the transport industry so much. I’m trying to build something that brings trucking and mental health together… and for most of the day, I felt real purpose and inspired.

Then, I hit Sydney.

First, the M7 shuts. No biggie, I keep on truckin’.
Then, NorthConnex shuts. Just my luck.
Roadworks everywhere. Detours through the back roads of the big smoke. Sleep? Not likely tonight.

Now I’m picturing myself fronting up to an 8:30am meeting at the University, then a filmed interview I’ve been looking forward to all week, and an advisory group meeting (yep, big day) running on fumes — and the inner critic is LOUD. The anxiety is like THUNDER. Here comes the wave of dread. I just need to get back to Newcastle.

Perfection or nothing.
Don’t stumble.
You can’t afford it. The stakes are too high

So I go back to basics: name what I can see, breathe longer out than in, loosen the grip, label the task instead of the monster. The goal isn’t to get rid of fear at 3am — it’s to keep pointing northwards while it’s yelling at you.

By the time I get home, the panic’s still there… but it’s smaller. And it’s not driving anymore. Thank God, neither am I. Now to sleep, I’ve got a big day coming up!

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Instagram – @elliot.t.waters
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Created by Elliot Waters — Inspired by lived experience.
Mental health insights, real stories, real conversations.