Driving through Newcastle in the rain, I found myself asking the question I hate considering after recording: what if being honest does more harm than good?

This episode is about loneliness, uncertainty, and the fear that some parts of life might never happen the way you imagined. I talk about living between Newcastle and Wodonga, long days in trucks, coming home exhausted, and wondering whether relationships, family and friendships are realistic goals for me, or whether my life is taking a different path. A path that’s clearly defined and (hopefully) attainable, but missing so much.

I reflect on the realities of battling Autism, BPD, OCD, ADHD, bipolar II, anxiety, depression and the rest. How therapy and my obsessive efforts to understand myself have worked, and yet the strange paradox that insight can definitely help, but too much insight can trap you in your own head. And how this hyper awareness of my thoughts, emotions and behaviours has hindered me so much, yet helped immeasurably as well.

Finally I explain how I’m re-collaborating the podcast, and returning to episodes focused on the science of psychology, different therapeutic approaches and interventions, the academic research and what it can tell us about human behaviour, as well as further exploration of my past and the moments that have shaped who I am today. That means more Discharge Papers, more Psych Ward Stories, My Journal entries and episodes of those pivotal moments that explain so much of today.

--

Follow The Dysregulated Podcast:
Instagram – @elliot.t.waters
Facebook – The Dysregulated Podcast
YouTube – The Dysregulated Podcast (Official Channel)

Created by Elliot Waters — Inspired by lived experience.
Mental health insights, real stories, real conversations.

The highway is supposed to be quiet, but my mind never is. On a 9pm drive from Newcastle down the Hume Highway (M31) toward Wodonga, I record another Highway Confessions and let you sit in the passenger seat that is usually empty. What starts as my favourite coping strategy for complex mental health quickly turns into the kind of deep thinking that can feel like standing too close to a fire, warm at first, then painful when you cannot pull away.

I talk honestly about loneliness, being single, and the fear that life will end with a list of regrets. From there I go straight into mortality and death anxiety, the stuff many people can filter out but I cannot. I share what it is like to carry those thoughts while trying to live a normal life, and why stress and mood can make the same themes feel heavier on some nights than others.

There is light in it too. I push back against the spiral with something real: meaning and purpose. I am going for my dream in trucking, and even when the job scares me, it is proof that I am not sitting still. Along the way I reflect on gratitude, mindfulness, positive psychology, and the spiritual questions that show up under the stars, including memories of my grandparents and thoughts about my dad.

If you have ever felt stuck in your head, this one will feel uncomfortably familiar in the best way. Subscribe to “The Dysregulated Podcast”, share it with a mate who needs it, and leave a review so more people who live with mental illness can find honest stories like this.

--

Follow The Dysregulated Podcast:
Instagram – @elliot.t.waters
Facebook – The Dysregulated Podcast
YouTube – The Dysregulated Podcast (Official Channel)

Created by Elliot Waters — Inspired by lived experience.
Mental health insights, real stories, real conversations.

Six weeks into my new job and it’s been one long stretch of anxiety. I’m recording this on the Hume Highway, driving between Newcastle and Wodonga, finally explaining why I’ve gone quiet. I’ve thrown myself into learning truckin’ properly—Road Ranger gearboxes, reversing semi trailers, using the dogs annd chains. And the pressure? Relentless.

This episode dives into what it’s like starting from zero while your head is working against you. Perfectionism, imposter syndrome, and an inner critic that turns small corrections into “proof” you’re failing. I break down the two anxiety streams driving it all—performance anxiety, and the fear of not belonging.

Underneath it all is my meaning and purpose. This isn’t just a job, it’s tied to Resilient Roadways and something bigger. My vision. And it’s that meaning and purpose that keeps me going. But, it also raises the stakes. If I can pull this off? My legacy is assured. But if I fail, my very existence could be on the line once again.

--

Follow The Dysregulated Podcast:
Instagram – @elliot.t.waters
Facebook – The Dysregulated Podcast
YouTube – The Dysregulated Podcast (Official Channel)

Created by Elliot Waters — Inspired by lived experience.
Mental health insights, real stories, real conversations.