Another episode from the archives this week. We're returning to our episode where we dive into the unique challenges of raising a child with a PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) profile. We're sharing our personal stories, strategies, and reflections to help parents and caregivers better understand and support their children navigating PDA-related behaviours.

1. PDA is driven by anxiety and a need for control; traditional demands can trigger refusal.
2. Offering controlled choices helps reduce pressure and gives children a sense of agency.
3. Visual schedules and plenty of preparation help ease transitions and reduce stress.
4. Managing your own calm and letting go of nonessential demands are important for low-demand parenting.
5. It’s okay to adjust family routines to what works for your child, even if it looks different from your original parenting ideals.
6. Misunderstandings from others can be painful but focusing on your child’s needs is what matters most.

PDA Society

Dr. Naomi Fisher webinars and resources

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We're returning to the archives again this week to our episode all about EHCP's. We’re talking about the journey to getting an EHCP - what it is, why it matters, and what the process looked like for our families.

We’ll share the lessons we learned along the way with the hope that it helps you navigate the process and feel a little more prepared.

An EHCP can provide vital, legally binding support

You don't need a formal diagnosis to apply for an EHCP

Schools may not always initiate an EHCP request. If they don't parents can.

Timelines and deadlines are crucial - keep a track of key dates.

Support groups, SENDIASS and organisations like IPSEA can provide guidance and practical help.

The right provision can make a huge difference to your child's wellbeing.

SENDIASS (Special Educational Needs and Disability Information Advice and Support Services)

IPSEA (Independent Provider of Special Education Advice) — ipsea.org.uk

EarlyBird course (National Autistic Society support programme for parents)

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In this week’s encore episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, Victoria reveals the emotional journey of her son’s autism diagnosis. She reflects on the early signs that were often misunderstood and the battles faced in educational settings, culminating in the significant moment of receiving an official diagnosis. As one of our most popular episodes, we wanted to share this again as there are so many on this path to diagnosis.

Autism signs can often be masked or misunderstood, especially in young children.

Building a support network of other parents is crucial.

Professionals may miss signs too, trusting your instincts matters.

The diagnosis process can feel long and isolating, but community support makes a difference.

Receiving a diagnosis is often a moment of both relief and grief and that's OK.

The Early Birds Course (National Autistic Society)

ASDivas and Dudes Support Group

The Girl with the Curly Hair by Alis Rowe

The Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome by Tony Attwood

TADDS Outreach Team

Total Children's Therapy

ADOS-2 Autism Diagnostic Observation Schedule

CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services)

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In this week’s encore episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, we are revisiting our look into the journey toward an autism diagnosis. Natalie opens up about her experiences with her son, reflecting on the subtle early signs and the drawn-out process of seeking support.

Early signs aren't always obvious: It's common to realize things only in hindsight.

Not all settings impact children the same way: Different environments can highlight or mask challenges.

The path to diagnosis is often long: Waiting times can be frustrating, but support exists even before official diagnoses.

Grief is a natural part of acceptance: It's okay to mourn the loss of expectations while embracing a new, beautiful reality.

Practical support makes a difference: Courses like EarlyBirds offer real-world tools tailored for neurodivergent children.

EarlyBirds Programme by the National Autistic Society

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In this week’s encore episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, join us as we navigate the complex landscape of anxiety in autistic children. We share our personal insights and experiences, exploring the diverse ways anxiety can manifest, including meltdowns, shutdowns, and sensory overloads.

Whether you're early on in your autism journey or navigating school-age challenges, this episode offers reassurance, relatable stories, and real-world strategies that can make a difference.

Anxiety presents differently in autistic children: It might show up as shutdowns, meltdowns, repetitive questions, anger, or even physical symptoms like tummy aches.

Avoidance can be common: Children may retreat to their rooms or refuse to go places when overwhelmed.

Sensory overload can be a major trigger: Noisy environments, bright lights, and even scratchy clothing can heighten anxiety.

Routine changes, even positive ones, can be stressful: Children may want changes, but still struggle when they occur.

Social unpredictability can add pressure: Not knowing who will be present or what will happen in social settings can create discomfort.

Masking and perfectionism can lead to burnout and chronic anxiety.

Support strategies matter: Ear defenders, visual timetables, sensory tools, role play, and validating feelings can help.

Validation and patience are key: Simply saying 'I hear you' can help children feel safe and understood.

Mindfulness sessions – Supportive techniques that help children become aware of how anxiety feels in their bodies.

https://www.mindful.org/mindfulness-for-kids/

Visual timetables and planners – Visual supports that help prepare autistic children for transitions and daily routines.

Example resources: Twinkl Visual Timetables

Noise-cancelling headphones and sunglasses

Edz Kidz Ear Defenders

Breathing exercises for children

https://copingskillsforkids.com/deep-breathing-exercises-for-kids

BBC Documentary – Inside Our Autistic Minds by Chris Packham

Watch here: BBC iPlayer – Inside Our Autistic Minds

Harry Potter Studio Tour (UK)

Mentioned as an example of a venue with quiet spaces and autism-friendly accommodations.

Accessibility info https://www.wbstudiotour.co.uk/additional-needs/

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In this week’s episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, we welcome back Carl Draper for part two of our conversation.

In the first part, Carl shares his personal experiences as a parent, how his understanding of behaviour has changed over time, and why unmet needs and stress responses are so often misunderstood.

In this second part, Carl reflects on the challenges we can’t always predict or prevent, the importance of support systems and environment, and what helps parents regulate their own emotions when things feel overwhelming.

Carl Draper was born in a North Nottinghamshire mining village and moved to Bournemouth at 19, where he served as a beach lifeguard and discovered his love for surfing. Accepted into the Royal Marines, his plans changed after a serious leg injury during a heroic rescue, an event that earned him a Local Hero Award and a feature on BBC’s 999 Rescue. He later became RNLI head trainer for lifeguards across Dorset, then served over a decade with Dorset Ambulance Service. Shifting to education, he trained firefighters and police nationwide before retraining as a mental health nurse. Carl is currently studying at Bournemouth University. In 2015, he founded Waveslider, winning the Bournemouth Tourism Award in 2017, and began documenting life with his son Bodhi in 2020.

1. Not everything can be planned for, and learning to cope with the unexpected is an essential life skill
2. Avoiding triggers completely can increase anxiety over time rather than reduce it
3. The right support system — at home, at school, or beyond — can be life-changing for families
4. Routine provides security but can also create vulnerability during periods of change
5. Parents need their own ways to regulate stress and should seek support without guilt

Follow Carl’s journey with his son Bodhi on the Waverslider Photography Facebook Page

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Victoria Bennion: [00:00:00] Hello and welcome back. This is part two

of our conversation with Carl Draper. Carl is currently training to be a mental

health nurse and he's the founder of Wave Slider, where he shares his brilliant

photos and documents life with his son Bodhi.

Victoria Bennion:

Frank Bodi's Assistance Dog is also a regular on Wave slider. If you haven't

listened to part one yet, we'd really recommend going back first because Carl

shares some powerful context about what challenging behavior can look like and

how much can change when we start meeting a child's stress response with calm.

Victoria Bennion: In

today's episode, we pick up the conversation by talking about the things we

can't always predict or control. Those sudden changes, those moments where a

plan falls apart and the ways that it can trigger big feelings for our children

and for us too. So let's jump back in.

Victoria Bennion: Are

there any steps that you can take, do you think, to prevent the...

In this week’s episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, we welcome back Carl Draper for part one of a two-part conversation.

His last episode, learning to hear a child who doesn't speak, sparked so many questions from listeners, that we invited Carl back to talk more about the topic of challenging behaviours and autism.

In this first part, Carl shares his personal experiences as a parent, how his understanding of behaviour has changed over time, and why unmet needs and stress responses are so often misunderstood.

Carl Draper was born in a North Nottinghamshire mining village and moved to Bournemouth at 19, where he served as a beach lifeguard and discovered his love for surfing. Accepted into the Royal Marines, his plans changed after a serious leg injury during a heroic rescue, an event that earned him a Local Hero Award and a feature on BBC’s 999 Rescue. He later became RNLI head trainer for lifeguards across Dorset, then served over a decade with Dorset Ambulance Service. Shifting to education, he trained firefighters and police nationwide before retraining as a mental health nurse. Carl is currently studying at Bournemouth University. In 2015, he founded Waveslider, winning the Bournemouth Tourism Award in 2017, and began documenting life with his son Bodhi in 2020.

• Emotional regulation in parents plays a crucial role in reducing escalation
• Challenging behaviour is often a stress response linked to unmet needs
• Changes in routine and adult stress can significantly impact a child’s ability to cope
• A balance between boundaries and flexibility helps create emotional safety
• Children learn regulation by observing the behaviour of those around them
• Letting go of social judgement and outdated expectations allows families to parent with confidence

Follow Carl’s journey with his son Bodhi on the Waverslider Photography Facebook Page

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Victoria Bennion: [00:00:00] Today we're joined once again by our

friend Carl Draper, who many of you will remember from episode nine. For those

who don't know Carl, he is currently training to be a mental health nurse and

is the founder of Wave Slider, where he shares his brilliant photographs and

documents life with his son Bodhi.

Victoria Bennion:

Frank Bodie's Assistance Dog is also a regular on wave slider. Carl's last

appearance on the podcast really struck a chord, and after that episode went

live, he received an overwhelming number of messages from parents and carers

wanting to know more about how he supports his son through moments of distress.

Victoria Bennion: And

what's often labeled as challenging behavior. So today, Carl is back with us to

talk honestly and openly about exactly that we could talk to Carl for hours. So

we've split our conversation into two episodes. In this first part, Carl shares

his personal journey as a parent. How his understanding of [00:01:00] behavior has changed over time.

Victoria Bennion: The

powerful impact of learning to regulate his own emotions and what it really

looks like to meet chaos...

In today’s episode, of The Autism Mums Podcast, Victoria is hosting solo as Nat is home with an unwell little one. She’s joined by the wonderful Carla Wainwright, a Holistic Wellness Coach and Relationship Transformation specialist who supports parents and couples navigating the stress, overwhelm, and emotional load that can come when a child’s health or development needs extra support.

Carla Wainwright is a Holistic Wellness Coach and Relationship Transformation specialist who helps parents and couples navigate the stress, disconnection, and overwhelm that can come when a child’s health or development needs extra support. With a graduate degree in biological sciences, a 4-year practitioner diploma in Homeopathy and Heilkunst, and over 25 years as an embodied yoga teacher, Carla blends science, somatic practice, and coaching to guide couples in rekindling intimacy, deepening connection, and restoring shared purpose. Her compassionate, practical approach creates space for parents to thrive - both individually and together—while walking alongside their child’s unique health journey.

• Many relationship challenges stem from the fact that none of us were taught how to stay connected when life feels overwhelming.
• Parenting a neurodivergent or high-needs child can magnify existing patterns of disconnection within a couple.
• Emotional exhaustion and nervous system overload often show up as distance, irritability, or feeling like “roommates” instead of partners.
• Co-regulation—calming your nervous systems together—is often the first gentle step toward rebuilding intimacy.
• Small, simple practices like sitting side-by-side, holding hands, or breathing together can create emotional safety.
• Clear and compassionate communication, especially using “I” language, helps both people feel heard rather than blamed.
• Loving, well-expressed boundaries can strengthen a relationship rather than push partners apart.
• Prioritising your relationship supports the whole household
• Understanding each partner’s unique coping style can ease misunderstandings and reduce conflict.
• The path back to connection starts with nervous system regulation—first for yourself, and then with each other.

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carlawainwright/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CarlaWainwrightCreatrix/

Website: https://www.carlawainwright.com/

Free Gift: The Connected Way Forward – Carla’s free 3-minute connection practice for couples, designed to gently rebuild closeness even when life feels overwhelming

https://www.carlawainwright.com/connected-way-forward

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Rebuilding Relationships While Supporting Neurodivergent

Children with Carla Wainwright

[00:00:00]

Victoria Bennion:

Hello and welcome. It's Victoria and I'm on my own today as Nat has an ill

child, but I'm grateful to...