How do we communicate our needs in a way that doesn't feel like criticism? Welcome to today’s ICYMI, where we kick off the week with a quick game-changing tip from an episode that you might have missed.

Expressing our true desires, communicating what actually makes us feel good or safe, and dialling into our preferences and needs can be vulnerable territory with a partner... but it's a powerful path to intimacy when done with care. So we're throwing it back to this masterclass in feedback, communication, and relating more intimately with Darshana Avila.

Darshana is a trauma-informed somatic sex educator and Erotic Wholeness coach who has dedicated her career to helping people tune in to their truth, desires, and authentic relationships. Her work has been featured on Netflix’s Sex, Love & goop, and she’s spent over a decade guiding people out of the cultural patterns that keep them stuck.

Listen to our full episode with Darshana here.

Tune in every Monday for an expert dose of life advice in under 10 minutes.

Follow Darshana on her website and Instagram.

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Do you feel like you're in the driver's seat of your life, or does it feel like life is just happening to you?

Empowered people have an infectious confidence and energy, and a lot of that personal agency comes down to a powerful concept in psychology: locus of control.

Do our choices, habits, and actions shape our future? Or are we at the mercy of luck, circumstances, other people, and forces beyond our control? Your answer has a major impact on your confidence, resilience, motivation, mental health, relationships, success, and optimism.

In this episode, we unpack the difference between an internal locus of control and an external locus of control, why some people feel empowered while others feel stuck, and how our childhood experiences, upbringing, and life circumstances can shape the stories we tell ourselves about what's possible.

Tune in to hear:

• What the concept of locus of control is in psychology
• The difference between an internal vs. external locus of control
• Why locus of control influences confidence, resilience, happiness, motivation, and success
• The connection between external locus of control and anxiety/depression/stress
• How high performers often develop a stronger sense of personal agency
• How childhood experiences, parenting styles, and socioeconomic circumstances shape our beliefs
• Why your locus of control may differ across areas of your life
• Strategies to feel more empowered and build confidence in your abilities

Whether you're navigating anxiety, building self-confidence, or trying to feel more empowered in your life, this is a powerful framework for understanding how your mindset shapes your reality.

I believe in you!!

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What if burnout isn't always caused by working too much?

I've been falling back into burnout lately, and a lot of people around me have been struggling with it too. So in this throwback episode, we're exploring a lesser-known cause of burnout that rarely gets discussed: a lack of meaning, purpose, connection, engagement, and fulfillment.

Most burnout advice focuses on reducing stress, taking breaks, and improving work-life balance... but tons of people are still experiencing chronic fatigue, emotional exhaustion, and low motivation even after taking a break and getting more rest.

That's because burnout isn't always about overwork. Sometimes it's about undernourishment. Enter "boreout": the exhaustion that comes from chronic disengagement, lack of purpose, misalignment with your values, and not having enough meaningful experiences, relationships, creativity, or excitement in your life.

Tune in to hear about:

• The other cause of burnout that most people overlook
• Why burnout isn't always caused by stress, overwork, or long hours
• How a lack of meaning, purpose, and engagement can create chronic exhaustion
• The connection between values misalignment and burnout symptoms
• How technology, overstimulation, and constant productivity impact mental health
• Why rest alone doesn't always fix burnout
• Practical ways to create more energy, joy, creativity, purpose, and fulfillment
• How to recover from burnout by building a life that energizes you

Sometimes the answer isn't doing less... it's reconnecting with what makes you feel alive.

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Rethinking drinking? You're not the only one. Welcome to today’s ICYMI, where we kick off the week with a quick game-changing tip from an episode that you might have missed.

We all know alcohol messes with our health, but do you know how much it gets in the way of real connection? We're throwing it back to a deep chat with Amanda Kuda on how alcohol impacts our confidence, energy, social lives and more. Tune in to find out if you fall into the moderators vs. abstainers archetype, and how to realistically change your relationship with booze.

Amanda is an alcohol-free life coach, speaker, and author of Unbottled Potential: Break Up With Alcohol and Break Through to Your Best Life. Amanda teaches a modern, empowering approach to personal development and self-actualization through the lens of elective sobriety—no rock bottom necessary. Whether you’re looking to cut back, reassess your relationship with drinking, or explore what an alcohol-free lifestyle could do for your energy, confidence, dating life, and emotional wellbeing, Amanda offers tons of vulnerability and insight.

Listen to our full episode with Amanda here.

Tune in every Monday for an expert dose of life advice in under 10 minutes.

Follow Amanda:

https://www.amandakuda.com/

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You have friends… so why do you still feel lonely?

Friendships are more important than ever in adulthood, but they become increasingly hard to make and maintain. But we’re in a real loneliness epidemic where most adults feel unseen, alone, and disconnected *even though* they have lots of connections in their lives.

The real reason no one’s talking about? The “depth gap” that keeps us from being truly vulnerable and connected. Because the problem isn't always that we need more friends… it's that we don't feel known by the people in our lives.

In this episode, we're diving into the psychology of modern friendship with psychologist Dr. Elisabeth Crain. From attachment styles and friendship patterns to reciprocity, resentment, and friendship breakups, this interview is a roadmap for healthier, more fulfilling friendships.

Tune in to hear:

• Why adult friendships are harder to build and maintain
• The "Depth Gap" and why loneliness is often a quality issue, not a quantity issue
• How fear of vulnerability and rejection impact intimacy
• Attachment styles in friendships
• Understanding your friendship blueprint and relationship patterns
• Fast-burn versus slow-burn friendships… why pacing matters
• Managing reciprocity, imbalance and resentment

• The importance of healthy criticism

• Tuning into your body’s reaction to people
• The art of discernment in picking the right friendships

• Why friendships fracture in adulthood

Follow Dr. Elisabeth Crain:

https://www.drelisabethcrain.com/

https://www.instagram.com/dr.elisabeth.crain

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Welcome to today’s ICYMI, where we kick off the week with a quick game-changing tip from past episodes that you might have missed.

Why is catastrophizing and emotional spirals so common in ADHD? We're throwing it back to this helpful advice from ADHD coach Shanna Pearson, on her easy go-to trick to manage mood and strong emotional reactions in the moment. Shanna is the founder of the world’s largest one-on-one ADHD coaching company, working with thousands of adults with ADHD every year, and the bestselling author of Invisible ADHD.

Follow Shannon and check out her book:

https://www.adhdcoaching.com/

https://www.invisibleadhd.com/

Listen to our full episode here.

Tune in every Monday for an expert dose of life advice in under 10 minutes.

For advertising and sponsorship inquiries, please contact Frequency Podcast Network.

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teachmehowtoadult.substack.com

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What you resist really does persist… and the anxiety-avoidance cycle can keep you trapped in a small life for years.

If you avoid social situations, difficult conversations, travel, dating, decision-making, presentations, or anything that makes you anxious, this episode is for you.

Avoidance is one of the most common coping mechanisms people use for anxiety… but it's also one of the biggest reasons anxiety continues to grow. And the problem with avoidance is you can’t stop thinking about something that you’re trying to avoid.

In today’s episode, we're unpacking the psychology of avoidance and how it ultimately reinforces fear, shrinks your comfort zone, and keeps you stuck. Tune in if you want to learn how to face your fears, build confidence in your ability to deal with stress, and live a more expansive life.

We cover:

• Why avoidance is one of the most common coping strategies
• The anxiety-avoidance cycle and how it feeds anxiety
• Why avoiding difficult conversations creates more stress than just having them
• Internal avoidance: avoiding thoughts, uncertainty, decisions, and emotions
• How avoidance can shrink your world and limit your opportunities
• How Metacognitive Therapy approaches anxiety and avoidance
• Building tolerance for uncertainty and discomfort
• Using gradual exposure: the "fear ladder"
• Prompts to change how you think about your anxiety
• The Fear List exercise that helped me get unstuck

If you've been feeling trapped by anxiety, fear, and avoidance, this episode is your reminder that discomfort is not dangerous… and life usually expands on the other side of the things we're afraid of.

For advertising and sponsorship inquiries, please contact Frequency Podcast Network.

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Do you know your sexual personality type? Welcome to today’s ICYMI, where we kick off the week with a quick game-changing tip from an episode that you might have missed.

If you like personality tests and frameworks like Myers Briggs, learning your sexual profile can make a huge difference in your sex life. We're throwing it back to this helpful segment from TikTok’s #1 sex educator, Dr. Tara, on how to know if you and your partner are sexually compatible, what to do if you have different sexual preferences, and the key to connecting in bed if you have different sexual personality types.

Dr. Tara is a certified sexologist, award-winning researcher, tenured professor of relational and sexual communication, TV host, radio host, a coach and the Internet’s Resident Sex Expert. She’s the host of Luvbites Podcast that focuses on sexual wellness and sexploration, and she just released her new book, How Do You Like It? A Guide for Getting What You Want (in Bed).

Listen to the full episode here!

Take the Sexual Profile Quiz: https://www.luvbites.co/quizzes/whats-your-sexual-profile

Tune in every Monday for an expert dose of life advice in under 10 minutes.

Follow Dr. Tara on TikTok and Instagram

Get Dr. Tara’s new book, How Do You Like It

Subscribe to my Substack:

teachmehowtoadult.substack.com

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