Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest

Andy gets a giant bruise on his bicep from hema. Then Ryan roasts him for sparring at a basketball court. Andy reveals that he sword fights with a Zynn in his mouth which gets properly attacked. The boys talk about the American elderly insanity problems. Ryan gets upset at boomers calling the police on kids playing outside. One of Andy’s friends is worried about being stabbed in Europe while never going to Europe. Andy’s extended family can’t stop falling for AI Slop. Ryan has a problem with Vince Neil and goes hard in the paint on him. Andy has an awkward but polite encounter with a celebrity in a strip club bathroom. Andy’s buddy shits his pants in the middle of the strip club then another friend looses his stripper girlfriend to Nicholas Cage. Ryan’s buddy gets a shut streak on his shirt from a lap dance. Andy sees a rural Chinese strip club that makes him horrifically sad. The boys experience the Mandela effect about mosquitoes. Andy blows Ryan’s mind with Oscar Mayer and it really bothers him. After the break the boys deep dive on the Dairy Queen menu ingredients and makes O’Neill sick which leads to hilarious antics.

Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest

Ryan deletes another melody from Andy’s brain. The boys use the cost of pizza as a an economic barometer. They lament the cost of food trucks especially compared to brick and mortar restaurants. Then Ryan pitches the idea of a food truck that specializes in spaghetti sandwiches while Andy pitches a Twinkie based sandwich idea. Andy ruins the company YouTube algorithm with hema recommendations. They talk about using durian fruit skin as a hema helmet. Andy reveals the shocking truth behind how calories are actually made and it makes them question the entire science behind nutrition. Then O’Neill fantasizes about how hard Andy would freak out if he saw O’Neill get assassinated. Andy blows Ryan’s mind with stories about Jack Parsons and Ryan brags about sneaking into Devil’s Gate Dam. Ryan talks about how many people walk around with no conscious mind. Andy’s Three Musketeers painted hema mask is mistaken for the “Pringle’s Guy”. After the break the boys talk about China buying Detroit and Andy finds an unhinged Reddit post about a man who wants to bang his therapist and thinks he’s “done with therapy”.

Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest

A listener writes in that “O’Neill is always right” and it’s true. Then Ryan explains Elon’s trip to China. The boys then break down how little it would take them to to get “f- you” money. The boys come up with an idea for a house with tiny doors in all the walls to fix the pipes with ease. Then they talk about Japanese style sliding doors to access the pipes and electrical. O’Neill is plagued by giant cockroaches in Austin. Andrew does an impression of how white people politely ask someone to not steal their stuff. O’Neill is sick of “cancer awareness” stunts. Andy wants hospitals to give patients “to go bags”of leftover drugs. Ryan tries to invent an uncloggable toilet with garbage disposal. The boys then talk about starting a “comedy plumber” business to brighten people’s days. Then they talk about Ryan’s wish to be an “acquired savant” that he’s had since childhood. Andy wishes Ryan could play the piano and they come up with a video program for forcing people to become acquired savants by straining on the toilet. Andy tries to use his psychic powers to make Ryan’s D itch. Ryan remembers the lyrics to a song better than Andy and it’s devastating.

Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest

Ryan opens the show with the hot take that he doesn’t really like Linkin Park. Then, Andy read an article where they said saying the “r word” comes at a “hefty price”. This leads to them crashing out about how the news is reported. There’s some Presidential scandals throughout history talk and Andy reveals more of the scam economy. It will infuriate you. The boys talk about LAX and how it might be a social experiment for how much humans will put up with. They also talk about American public toilet hygiene problems. Then they delve into why so many schizophrenia sufferers do stuff with doodie stuff. Then Andy explores the world of unhinged racist local business commercials. There’s some alien talk and the boys reveal the secret to keeping your wife attracted to you. Then they come up with a genius idea for custom hot wheels.

Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest

Andy and Ryan panic as the stream gets choppy then Andy gets a weird HR style email from some corporate dinguses. Ryan thinks there should be upper limit age restrictions to prevent old people losing their marbles. The boys talk about missionaries and why roasting LDS missionaries might be part of a larger plan. They then talk about church scams and boring services. Then they reminisce about door to door salesmen and losing money to Columbia House. Then Andy’s best friend sneaks a subscription to Playboy in order to get a keychain and gets busted by his parents. Then they talk about getting in massive trouble in school and the hell they put their parents through. Andrew falls down in front of his entire class wasted. Ryan fantasizes about being a woman and worries about what he said in another person’s podcast. Andy finds out about a dad’s pipe dream : a terrible Grinch 2 screenplay. O’Neill’s buddy tries to make “bathtub energy drinks” and a few of them go bad. Then they reminisce about the Jolt Cola days and soda brands testing out products on the student population. Ryan forces Andy to try Durian Ice cream live on the show and the results are hilarious. Andy and his family try weird Japanese chips and they do a deep dive on strange food flavors.

Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest

Andy’s going through it but Ryan tries to cheer him up by telling him to start “bone smashing” for better “looks maxing” then out of nowhere Ryan brings up the Cinnamon Challenge which delights Andy because he just found a trap remix of a British man choking on cinnamon. Andy stays at “Hotel Crapula” in Texas and wears the skin off his toes snorkeling. The boys come up with governor water fountains for food and then realize what unmedicated schizophrenic people would do to them. The boys talk about the rising class of homeless millionaires once they figure out how many precious metals are sitting in data centers. Andy washes his hema gear with vodka and Ryan is convinced he’s just using it as an excuse to drink super cheap vodka. Ryan and Andy find waste management services to be highly suspect. Colorado gets rid of recycling to Ryan’s delight. Then Andy falls asleep listening to the fan reading of “Michael’s By The Sea” and wakes up and immediately writes a new scene for it leading to a potential sequel?

Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest

Ryan verbally attacks voter registration workers then Andy gets cornered by hilt Mormons this leads to a “scientific discussion” by Ryan on religious inbreeding. Then Andy’s ex does some gross cousin stuff. Ryan then heavily censors a similar story mid sentence. The boys reminisce about trying to bang while full of thanksgiving dinner. Then Ryan forces Andy to tell him what kind of underwear he wears before telling him about a new robot suit fighting league. Then Andy updates Ryan on Lana Del Ray’s husband and new blue collar life. This delights Ryan to no end. Even more so when he finds out that their marriage infuriated Reddit Users. Ryan tells an inspirational story about a man within arms or legs that will warm your heart. Then the boys talk about 3d printing novelty doodie piles. Ryan shocks Andy with his love of libraries. Andy shares horror stories of library shenanigans. Then they come up with an insane way to get away with criminal tom foolery. Then Andy finds out the medical reason for his fetishes.

Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest

The show starts with immediate chicanery from Ryan about Andrew’s art then immediately gets into the rise of New York City as #3 in alien abductions. Then Ryan wants to leave Andy in a field to see if he’ll get abducted. Then the boys review the new health psa about how healthy it is to crank the hog. Ryan gets angry that they didn’t check his prostate during his colonoscopy. Andy dreams about thongs as Ryan explains his plan to capture an alien. Ryan is upset that Andy doesn’t think newspapers report on bestiality that much. Andy gets his ass whooped at HEMA by a veteran and has to power through the defeat. The boys talk about Flowers For Algernon and Pope Leo. Ryan has some conspiracy theories on the Catholic Church while Andy notices how much Ryan smells like hot dogs. Then Ryan freaks out when Andy opens his bathroom window and starts shouting Ryan’s full first and last name while saying there’s doodie everywhere. Andrew gets turned on by breast reduction scars. Ryan imagines how poorly Andrew would do with online dating then impersonates Andy trying to get his brain to turn over like a shitty motor. Electric toothbrushes catch on fire and they freak out about lithium batteries. Ryan uses a selfie stick to talk on the phone. Ryan catches Andy listening to their own podcast again and asserts that Andy must be pretending he’s listening to other people. They talk about how they both thought spontaneous human combustion would be a much bigger deal than it ended up being. Ryan tries to impress high schoolers on the ski lift and this does not go unpunished by Andy.