Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest

Andy gets a giant bruise on his bicep from hema. Then Ryan roasts him for sparring at a basketball court. Andy reveals that he sword fights with a Zynn in his mouth which gets properly attacked. The boys talk about the American elderly insanity problems. Ryan gets upset at boomers calling the police on kids playing outside. One of Andy’s friends is worried about being stabbed in Europe while never going to Europe. Andy’s extended family can’t stop falling for AI Slop. Ryan has a problem with Vince Neil and goes hard in the paint on him. Andy has an awkward but polite encounter with a celebrity in a strip club bathroom. Andy’s buddy shits his pants in the middle of the strip club then another friend looses his stripper girlfriend to Nicholas Cage. Ryan’s buddy gets a shut streak on his shirt from a lap dance. Andy sees a rural Chinese strip club that makes him horrifically sad. The boys experience the Mandela effect about mosquitoes. Andy blows Ryan’s mind with Oscar Mayer and it really bothers him. After the break the boys deep dive on the Dairy Queen menu ingredients and makes O’Neill sick which leads to hilarious antics.

Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest

Ryan deletes another melody from Andy’s brain. The boys use the cost of pizza as a an economic barometer. They lament the cost of food trucks especially compared to brick and mortar restaurants. Then Ryan pitches the idea of a food truck that specializes in spaghetti sandwiches while Andy pitches a Twinkie based sandwich idea. Andy ruins the company YouTube algorithm with hema recommendations. They talk about using durian fruit skin as a hema helmet. Andy reveals the shocking truth behind how calories are actually made and it makes them question the entire science behind nutrition. Then O’Neill fantasizes about how hard Andy would freak out if he saw O’Neill get assassinated. Andy blows Ryan’s mind with stories about Jack Parsons and Ryan brags about sneaking into Devil’s Gate Dam. Ryan talks about how many people walk around with no conscious mind. Andy’s Three Musketeers painted hema mask is mistaken for the “Pringle’s Guy”. After the break the boys talk about China buying Detroit and Andy finds an unhinged Reddit post about a man who wants to bang his therapist and thinks he’s “done with therapy”.

Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest

A listener writes in that “O’Neill is always right” and it’s true. Then Ryan explains Elon’s trip to China. The boys then break down how little it would take them to to get “f- you” money. The boys come up with an idea for a house with tiny doors in all the walls to fix the pipes with ease. Then they talk about Japanese style sliding doors to access the pipes and electrical. O’Neill is plagued by giant cockroaches in Austin. Andrew does an impression of how white people politely ask someone to not steal their stuff. O’Neill is sick of “cancer awareness” stunts. Andy wants hospitals to give patients “to go bags”of leftover drugs. Ryan tries to invent an uncloggable toilet with garbage disposal. The boys then talk about starting a “comedy plumber” business to brighten people’s days. Then they talk about Ryan’s wish to be an “acquired savant” that he’s had since childhood. Andy wishes Ryan could play the piano and they come up with a video program for forcing people to become acquired savants by straining on the toilet. Andy tries to use his psychic powers to make Ryan’s D itch. Ryan remembers the lyrics to a song better than Andy and it’s devastating.