Mother Loss, Memory, and Meaning with Kathryn Bertine

Kathryn shares the complexity of grief—from the unexpected moments of humor to the profound sense of peace that can accompany loss.

This episode is a powerful reminder that grief is not linear, not uniform—and never something to navigate alone.

Kathryn Bertine is an author of several books, a former professional athlete, an activist, and a documentary filmmaker. Kathryn played an instrumental role in getting women into the Tour de France. Today’s eight-day Tour de France Femmes stems from her activism and you can read or listen to the wild, true story of what really happens when we fight for change in her book, STAND.

KATHRYN BERTINE

Website: https://www.kathrynbertine.com

Instagram: @kathryn_bertine

KARA KAVENSKY

Website: Kara Kavensky

Visit Kara’s website to receive updates and pre-order her new memoir, TELL ME ABOUT JOY.

Record Scratch with Kara is sponsored by Adam Gibson Design and Remain Relevant, a corporate storytelling masterclass

Produced by Marilou Marosz

Original music written and performed by Adam W. Gibson

TIMESTAMPS

[01:10] Introduction: Kathryn Bertine

[03:27] Tell me her name

[04:57] Shared athleticism

[06:23] Smoking and a benevolent white lie

[12:05] Caring for aging parents

[14:15] Coping with loss

[18:15] A very special keepsake

[19:49] Kathryn's advice

Now an author, the Living Colour drummer speaks about his mother, Annie Mae Baker Calhoun

Will Calhoun’s artistry spans more than three decades as one of the world’s best drummers—and he credits his mom’s heartbeat (his earliest memory) for introducing him to life’s cadence.

From Harry Belafonte to Living Colour, Will’s music career is one of diversity, curiosity, and exploration. A full interview with Will is part of Season 4 of “Record Scratch with Kara” and will air later this summer.

WILL CALHOUN

Website - WillCalhoun.com

Instagram - @willcalhoundrum

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/willcalhounmusic/#

KARA KAVENSKY

Website: Kara Kavensky

Visit Kara’s website to receive updates and pre-order her new memoir, TELL ME ABOUT JOY.

Record Scratch with Kara is sponsored by Adam Gibson Design and Remain Relevant, a corporate storytelling masterclass

Produced by Marilou Marosz

Original music written and performed by Adam W. Gibson

TIMESTAMPS

[01:10] Introduction: Will Calhoun

[02:28] Education, self-reliance, and spirituality

[04:44] Helping others

[06:08] An open and honest relationship

[08:25] Annie Mae Calhoun Way

[10:08] The center of the neighborhood

[12:19] It's not your time

[14:11] Harry Belafonte and The Grammy Awards

[15:48] Honoring Mom

Let the Words Fall Out: A Story of Trauma, Survival, and Grace

*Content Warning* Domestic violence is discussed.

Mesa Fama shares the complicated, often painful terrain of motherhood—both as a daughter and as a mother herself.

Mesa shares her earliest memories of her mother, shaped by domestic violence and instability, and the profound impact those experiences had on her life. Through honesty and vulnerability, she reflects on cycles of trauma, addiction, and abuse—and the moment she chose to break free.

Mesa Fama is a writer whose lovely words are found in the New York Times, The Mighty, and Medium. She is a reader, keeper of secrets, scars, and stars.

MESA FAMA

Website – mesafama.com

Substack: @mesafama Let The Words Fall Out

Instagram: @mesa.fama

KARA KAVENSKY

Website: Kara Kavensky

Visit Kara’s website to receive updates and pre-order her new memoir, TELL ME ABOUT JOY.

Record Scratch with Kara is sponsored by Adam Gibson Design and Remain Relevant, a corporate storytelling masterclass

Produced by Marilou Marosz

Original music written and performed by Adam W. Gibson

TIMESTAMPS

[01:21] Introduction: Mesa Fama

[02:52] Instilling a love of reading and writing

[03:54] Breaking the cycle of abuse and addiction

[04:57] Seeing her own worth

[07:29] I'm sorry. Thank you.

[09:20] The past and parenting

[11:03] Forgiveness and grace

[13:51] Mother's Day

Grief, Identity, and Ongoing Connection with Jessica Fein

Jessica shares her experience navigating the unimaginable reality of being both a motherless daughter and a daughterless mother—a dual loss that reshaped her understanding of identity, grief, and love.

Jessica reflects on her mother, Zelda, the loss of her daughter Dahlia, and the ways she continues to maintain connection with those she has lost—offering a reframe of grief not as an ending, but as an evolving relationship.

Jessica Fein's book, BREATH TAKING: A MEMOIR OF FAMILY, DREAMS, AND BROKEN GENES, is a love letter to her daughter, Dahlia. My favorite, and most accurate synopsis, is: "A masterclass on how to be a person." — Joanna Rakoff, bestselling author of MY SALINGER YEAR.

BREATH TAKING is a MUST read!

JESSICA FEIN

Website - JessicaFeinstories.com

Instagram - @feinjessica

Substack - https://feinbyme.substack.com/

KARA KAVENSKY

Website: Kara Kavensky

Visit Kara’s website to receive updates and pre-order her new memoir, TELL ME ABOUT JOY.

Record Scratch with Kara is sponsored by Adam Gibson Design and Remain Relevant, a corporate storytelling masterclass

Produced by Marilou Marosz

Original music written and performed by Adam W. Gibson

TIMESTAMPS

[01:09] Introduction: Jessica Fein

[02:38] Zelda

[03:54] Naming Theo

[05:37] Singing around the piano

[06:39] Celebrating Mom

[08:55] Connecting with people we've lost

[11:00] Jessie's advice

The Cheerleader, The Caregiver, The Guilt: Remembering Vicki

Kara welcomes back Robin Finn for a deeply human conversation about losing her mother, Vicki.

Robin shares what it meant to be both a devoted daughter and primary caregiver—and how the unexpected timing of COVID-19 complicated her mother’s final months, leaving behind layers of grief, love, and unresolved questions.

Writer and narrative alchemist, Robin Finn, is the creator of the Heart. Soul. Pen.® program and the HeartiFacts Mentorship.

ROBIN FINN

Website - RobinFinn.com

Instagram and Facebook - @robinfinnauthor

KARA KAVENSKY

Website: Kara Kavensky

Visit Kara’s website to receive updates and pre-order her new memoir, TELL ME ABOUT JOY.

Record Scratch with Kara is sponsored by Adam Gibson Design and Remain Relevant, a corporate storytelling masterclass

Produced by Marilou Marosz

Original music written and performed by Adam W. Gibson

TIMESTAMPS

[01:09] Introduction: Robin Finn

[03:17] Mom's end of life story

[06:08] Guilt on top of grief

[07:23] Regrets

[08:34] Grief therapy

[11:41] The gift of iconic individuality

[14:46] Rituals and reflection

[16:48] Unexpected loneliness

[18:20] Robin's advice

Carrying Them Forward: Grief, Ritual, and the Enduring Bond of Love

In this deeply moving Mother’s Day episode, Kara sits down with grief advocate Barry Leiner Grant to explore what it means to carry someone forward after loss.

After losing her mother, Barri has transformed her personal grief into a life’s work—helping others navigate loss with honesty, ritual, and connection.

This conversation moves beyond grief as an ending and reframes it as an ongoing relationship—one that evolves, deepens, and continues to shape who we are.

Barri Leiner Grant is the Chief Grief Officer™ of The Memory Circle. Grant has studied with the leading names in the grief space, including grief certification with Claire Bidwell Smith, Hope Edelman, David Kessler, and Dora Carpenter.

BARRI LEINER GRANT

Substack - Permission Granted

Instagram - @thememorycircle

KARA KAVENSKY

Website: Kara Kavensky

Visit Kara’s website to receive updates and pre-order her new memoir, TELL ME ABOUT JOY.

Record Scratch with Kara is sponsored by Adam Gibson Design and Remain Relevant, a corporate storytelling masterclass

Produced by Marilou Marosz

Original music written and performed by Adam W. Gibson

TIMESTAMPS

[01:10] Introduction: Barri Leiner Grant

[02:13] Losing her mom

[04:20] Despising Mother's Day

[05:42] Tell me your mom's name

[07:36] Advice from a grief coach

[14:24] Camp Wicosuta

A Double Blessing: Adoption, Reunion, and Motherhood Across Continents

Twin sisters Melanie Nichols and Marcie Moller share their extraordinary story of adoption, identity, and reunion.

Born in Taiwan and adopted by American parents, Melanie and Marcie grew up with a loving, idyllic upbringing in the United States—yet always carried the unanswered questions of their origin story.

Years later, a determined search led to a powerful reunion with their birth family, revealing a truth far more complex—and more loving—than they had ever imagined.

This episode explores what it means to be a daughter, a sister, a mother, and part of a family that spans cultures, languages, and lifetimes.

KARA KAVENSKY

Website: Kara Kavensky

Visit Kara’s website to receive updates and pre-order her new memoir, TELL ME ABOUT JOY.

Record Scratch with Kara is sponsored by Adam Gibson Design and Remain Relevant, a corporate storytelling masterclass

Produced by Marilou Marosz

Original music written and performed by Adam W. Gibson

TIMESTAMPS

[01:09] Introduction: Melanie Nichols and Marcie Moller

[03:40] The truth about their adoption in Taiwan

[05:29] Protecting against rejection

[06:47] Determined to find birth family

[09:05] Mama never stopped looking

[13:06] Mother's Day Celebration 2010

[15:16] Meeting Mama for the first time

[18:41] We'd like to take you to the bra store

[22:20] Making up for lost time

[23:38] Love and connection

[25:04] A deep, shared understanding

Motherhood, Grief, and the Moment We Grow Each Other Up

Mother’s Day isn’t always simple—and for many women, it isn’t soft or sentimental. It’s layered. It’s complicated. It’s evolving.

Cynthia unpacks what it means to grieve a mother, become a mother, a grandmother, and—at times—redefine both roles in real time.

A full interview with Cynthia is part of Season 4 of “Record Scratch with Kara” and will air later this summer.

Strategy Coach for High Achieving Women, Cynthia Occelli is the author of RESURRECTING VENUS (Hay House)

CYNTHIA OCCELLI

Website - CynthiaOccelli.com

KARA KAVENSKY

Website: Kara Kavensky

Visit Kara’s website to receive updates and pre-order her new memoir, TELL ME ABOUT JOY.

Record Scratch with Kara is sponsored by Adam Gibson Design and Remain Relevant, a corporate storytelling masterclass

Produced by Marilou Marosz

Original music written and performed by Adam W. Gibson

TIMESTAMPS

[01:10] Introduction: Cynthia Occelli

[02:21] An evolving relationship

[04:49] Transitioning to mother/grandmother

[08:03] You'll figure it out

[09:53] The challenges of Mother's Day

[12:39] Dealing with complex relationships

[14:00] Life is bigger than this