Peter Alsop‘s SONGS TO CHEW cover art

Peter Alsop‘s SONGS TO CHEW

Peter Alsop‘s SONGS TO CHEW

By: Peter Alsop
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 Humor, wisdom & commentary by Peter Alsop on his award winning songs and stories; some for kids & families, some for teens and adults!

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Episodes
  • The Hug

    The Hug
    Dec 1 2025
    This true story was made into a song by an old friend, The Reverend Fred Small. He’s a wonderful singer-songwriter, performer; an activist and pastor dedicated to healing the earth, seeking justice, and tending our wounded spirits. His song’s about a therapist named Dan Murrow, who was fired for hugging his patients. He was convinced that hugging between consenting adults was therapeutically helpful, contrary to the hospital’s policy. The story made the papers in Boston back in the late ‘70’s. I actually met Dan Murrow at one of the National Conferences on the Healing Power of Laughter and Play. Of course, we hugged each other when we met.THE HUGDan Murrow is a mighty friendly man CBig and round like a bear F-CAnd he hugs his friends and his friends hug him C–D7Anytime, anywhere G-G7When his patients would come for therapy CTo drive their blues away FSooner or later, they’d feel a lot better C-F‘Cause this is what he’d say, G-G7Cho: I want a hug when we say “Hello”, CI want a hug when it’s time to go, FI want a hug, ‘cause I want you to know GThat I’m awfully fond of you! G7-CI want a hug, now if you please CI want a hug, I want to feel you squeeze FI want a hug, well it certainly seems G-G7Like the natural thing to do! G7-CNow when the Head of the hospital heard about itHe got all annoyedBecause hugging is ‘sexual sublimation’According to Dr. Freud!You can beat ‘em down, you can hide ‘em away,You can keep ‘em quiet with drugsYou can strap ‘em and zap ‘em with electroshockBut you better not give ‘em a hug!ChorusSo the boss said “Dan, clear out your desk!Your conduct is lax and lewd.Any deviation from standard medicalPractice can get us sued!”Now Dan don’t feel so bad for himselfIn fact, he’s kind of proudBut he’s sorry for the folks who are locked awayWhere hugging ain’t allowed!ChorusWritten by Fred Small, ©Copyright 1981, Pine Barrens Music (BMI)On Fan Club Favorites and Ebenezer’s Make Over (full length feature!) peteralsop.comHuman feelings are often discounted in our places of work, our institutions, our churches, mosques and temples, our hospitals, schools and universities. Our society has a very limited understanding about the powerful part that our ‘feelings’ have, as they affect our own health and sense of wellness, which in turn, impact the health and the day-to-day functioning of our organizations.Many of us who work on recovery in our personal lives, regularly see positive changes in ourselves and our families when we pay attention to what’s going on for us in the feelings department. Unfortunately, trying to live up to the many expectations we face daily, can threaten our personal sobriety! We are asked to work harder and longer than is healthy. We’re asked to be dishonest, or at least to keep our mouths shut if we see something going on that may be unjust or unfair. We’re expected to triangulate; go around certain people who might not approve of what we’re doing, so we actually practice avoiding them. In order to be accepted, we find ourselves being manipulative or overly critical of others, and we ‘smoosh down’ our more sensitive selves and our caring feelings, so we ‘don’t get accused of ‘making waves’.People like Dan Murrow say, “If I must choose between working here and being healthy, I choose health.” But when we commit to making ‘healthy choices’, we’re often the ones who get replaced, canned, fired! When we draw a line, and stop enabling, accepting and ignoring other people’s unhealthy behaviors, we create problems for an organization, because when we do that, other people feel uncomfortable. They don’t want to change their old addictive behaviors and patterns. Dan Murrow got fired because some people in the organization were uncomfortable with his behavior.Guidelines about ‘not hugging’ our patients are set up because some people with authority learn that ‘touching’ is a very potent physical practice that instantly defines and delineates who has ‘power’ to touch another person in the organization without first asking permission. And they don’t want to give that up.Ellen Bass, the co-author of ‘The Courage To Heal’ suggests that there are many needy therapists who actually do ask for inappropriate hugs from their already vulnerable patients or clients. Many people have been physically or sexually abused by someone in a more powerful position. Therapists need to take care of our own hugging needs outside of our practice.I understand that Dr. Dan Murrow would always ask patients if they would like a hug before he’d hug someone. He was interested in working to break down some of the stigma associated with ‘caring touch’ as a therapeutic aid in a trusting relationship. For those of us who lived through the 60’s and 70’s, it’s clear that the practice of hugging others has moved light years beyond where we were back then.We have also gone through having Co-Vid ...
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    4 mins
  • I Believe You

    I Believe You
    Nov 29 2025
    I BELIEVE YOUWhen you tell me you are scared A-F#mI will listen ‘cause I care F#m-AI remember bein’ scared too Bm-F#mSo when you tell me, I believe you E-AWhen you’re angry or you’re sadEven if you’re feeling badI remember feelin’ bad tooSo when you tell me, I believe youMaybe I can help you with an idea D-C#mMaybe I know something that’ll make things clear Bm-AMaybe I won’t know what to do D-C#mBut I can be a safe place, and I believe you E-AWhen I was a kid, I criedHad a secret deep insideBut the grown-ups could not seeI thought “Something must be wrong with me”(whistling instrumental)So when you tell me you are scaredI will listen ‘cause I careI remember bein’ scared tooSo when you tell me, I believe you.When you tell me, I believe you.When you tell me, ... I believe you.Written by Peter Alsop, ©1992, Moose School Music (BMI)On Wake-Up! dvd, Chris Moose Holidays, and Songs On Recovery & Addictionwww.peteralsop.comDid you know that feelings are contagious? When someone around us feels sad, do you ever notice that you kind of feel sad too? So, we say things like, “What’s wrong?” or “Don’t feel sad!” or “Let’s go get something to eat!”. We hope to distract them, or fix their problem or cheer them up. Our goal seems to be that we want to help them, … but often, it’s because we don’t want to feel sad ourselves!Many of us grew up in families and cultures where it wasn’t okay to show or express our painful feelings in any way, so now, when we feel angry, sad or scared, it also feels embarrassing, … like we’re doing something wrong! And to avoid that, we say things like: “Cheer up!” ~ “Don’t be scared!” ~ “It’s okay, … calm down!” ~ or as a last resort, “Oh c’mon! I don’t believe THAT!”It would be great, if the next time we feel sad, scared or angry, someone would come up to us and gently say, “Wow, … you look really sad, (or scared or angry). I feel really sad too sometimes. I’ll just sit here with you if you want.” And then they don’t try to cheer us up, or calm us down or tell us what to do or that they don’t believe us. People who can do that, are people who know how to create ‘a safe space’ for others.Illustration by Terri AsherI’ve learned that in order to be a ‘safe place’ for others, we need to have our own ‘healthy feelings vocabulary’. When we actually pay attention to our feelings and become familiar with our own sadness and fears and angers, then we can be around those upset ‘contagious’ feelings from others. Building a ‘healthy feelings vocabulary’ means we learn to manage our own painful feelings, so we don’t have to ‘stop’ others or ‘shut them down’ to avoid having our own feelings triggered. We know what our sadness, anger and fear feels like, so we don’t have to be afraid if they surface in response to our empathy with other people’s strong feelings.The hardest part of learning how to be a ‘safe place’ for me, was to just ‘be present and listen’. I always want to jump in and solve their problems, instead of helping them figure out what might be best for them to do. When I can be quiet and listen, and allow them to talk, it helps them figure out their own best ways to proceed. I know that when I’m frightened, sad or angry, and I tell someone else about my strong feelings, ... it doesn’t help much when they jump in and tell me what to do, or how to feel! All it does is convince me that I don’t want to tell them about my deep feelings anymore, because they just showed me that they aren’t really a very ‘safe person’ to tell!Thanks for stopping by. Please share any of my posts that might be helpful for someone you know.Peter Alsop’s SONGS TO CHEW Audio podcastsThanks for reading Peter’s Substack! This post is public so feel free to share it.Thanks for reading Peter Alsop’s Substack! This post is public so feel free to share it.Click here to see All of Peter’s albums!To send me a comment, sign in as a Substack member by clicking the button above. It’s free, or you can always email me at peter@peteralsop.com. I’d love to hear from you! You don’t have to be a ‘paid’ subscriber to get my posts. Everyone gets ‘em, … some folks send in money to support my work. In either case, glad you’re here! Thanks for spreading the word!Peter’s Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, please consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Peter Alsop’s Substack at peteralsop.substack.com/subscribe
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    2 mins
  • Lifeline

    Lifeline
    Nov 9 2025
    LIFELINEYou carried me, home in your arms G-C-D,G-C-DYou loved me so much, and you kept me from harmYou washed me and fed me, the years how they flewAnd now you need my help, and I’ll care for you!There’s a lifeline that ties me to you, Am-C-GLife rolls like a wheel through whatever we doThrough all of the hard times and anger we feel G-D9-C-GThe love that we have, well it helps us to heal, G-D9-Am-DLove’s a lifeline that pulls us all through! D-D7-G-C-D,G-C-DYou’ve nowhere to go, and you don’t like to leanAt the old people’s home, they’re packed in like sardines,So the baby can sleep in the crib one more yearPut the kids in together, there’s room for you here!There’s a lifeline that ties me to youOvernight power runs out the holes in our shoesWhen the looking glass flips, there’s no wrong or rightDo the best we can and hold hands in the fightLove’s a lifeline that pulls us all through!Most of the time now, you’re clear as a bellBut the body you’re using’s not working so wellAnd I know we get crazy when our patience is goneHey, ain’t it amazing, how we hold on,To that lifeline that ties me to youLife rolls like a wheel through whatever we doThrough all of the hard times and anger we feelThe love that we have, well it helps us to healLove’s a lifeline that pulls us all through!Love’s a lifeline that pulls us all through!Written by Peter Alsop, ©1983, Moose School Music (BMI)On Fan Club Favorites and Songs On Loss & Griefwww.peteralsop.comPracticing the art of loving, ... can get us through some of the hardest times we have while we care for our parents. We all have losses to deal with in our lives, but older people often experience losses more frequently. Besides losing family members and friends who have died, there’s the loss of good health and vigor to deal with, ... and loss of time to accomplish dreams that were never realized.As our own children grow up and begin to go out into the world on their own, many of our parents or older relatives become needful of our help. We then face tough decisions about bringing them back into our own busy lives and home, perhaps acting as their principal caregiver.My grandmother actually did come to live with us, and it was both difficult and rewarding, as we learned how to get along with each other. In our culture older family members often live by themselves, or in a community of other older people, separate from the younger members of their own families. Many of us Americans grew up in our core nuclear family, without our grandparents in the same house. We didn’t get many real experiences or a clear understanding of how we will age ourselves later in our own lives. So, it was wonderful for my kids to have an older person in our immediate family home.My dear friend and teacher, Dr. Joseph Cruse talks about a ‘de-cathexis’, ... a letting go that happens within our families. As we children grow up, we need to let go of the expectations that our parents will continue to ‘parent’ us forever. They will always be our parents, but as we become adults and take our own power in the world, their ‘parenting’ behaviors need to transform into a more equal ‘friendship’ type of relationship between equal adults, without the power inequities that happen when children are little and parents are big. We can help to create a healthy balanced relationship with our own aging parents, when we are neither crutches nor burdens to each other.1980 photo by Ellen Geer of Grandmother, Dad, me, Megan & WillowI hugged my grandmother often, but I realized one day, ... that it was the only touching that she received. As she depended on us more and more, I was reminded of how like a child she had become, and that little babies get a sense of themselves that is related to how, and how often other people touch them. So I started a program of fifteen-minute foot-rubs for my grandmother, and with her permission, I would turn on a recorder, massage her feet, and ask her pointed questions about her life and our family. We compiled quite an oral history, punctuated with little moans and comments about how good it felt to have some spot on her foot rubbed! She’s say, “Ooooh! That feels sooo good! Are you married?” I’d say“Grandmother! Cut that out!” I have it on tape.I know she enjoyed the foot-rubs, but she also enjoyed ‘being listened to’ and having someone take time with her, so she felt that she was loved and valued, even though she was unable to help much with the maintenance of our bustling, rushing around young family. It was fulfilling for both of us when she was able to pass on some of her life experiences to me, an interested younger relative. And I got to see some of the family patterns that had echoed down through the generations, and to understand that I was not just a man alone in the world, but also a link in the family chain.I had the privilege of working with Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. She is best known for her work ...
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    6 mins
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