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That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding

That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding

By: That Hoarder
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 Hoarding disorder is stigmatised and people who hoard feel vast amounts of shame. This podcast began life as an audio diary, an anonymous outlet for somebody with this weird condition. That Hoarder speaks about her experiences living with compulsive hoarding, she interviews therapists, academics, researchers, children of hoarders, professional organisers and influencers, and she shares insight and tips for others with the problem. Listened to by people who hoard as well as those who love them and those who work with them, Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder aims to shatter the stigma, share the truth and speak openly and honestly to improve lives.© 2023 Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with @ThatHoarder Hygiene & Healthy Living Psychology Psychology & Mental Health
Episodes
  • #190 What if we forgive ourselves, but now we know better, we do better? Choosing compassion over shame in hoarding disorder

    #190 What if we forgive ourselves, but now we know better, we do better? Choosing compassion over shame in hoarding disorder
    Jun 13 2025
    Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticketSubscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribePodcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ Today I’m looking at what happens if we forgive ourselves for past hoarding behaviours, why we maybe should, and how we can actually use that insight to make better choices and move forward. I talk honestly about the shame and guilt that keeps so many of us stuck. There’s some reflection on the roots of hoarding, the importance of self-compassion, and why hating ourselves into action just doesn’t work - plus a few practical suggestions for anyone trying to make a change, no matter where you’re starting from. Buy your copy of Everything You Need to Know About Hoarding by Dr Lynne Drummond at cambridge.org/EverythingHoarding, and get 20% off with the discount code HOARDING20. #ad Forgiving Ourselves but Doing BetterExploration of guilt and shame related to hoarding and feeling overwhelmed.Reflection on self-blame, regret, and paralysis it can cause.Catholic upbringing: Confession, forgiveness, and the importance of genuine intent to change.Recognition that hoarding often stems from trauma, loss, fear, anxiety, or neurodivergence.Discussion of cause and effect - influences behind hoarding behavior.Emphasis that hoarders are not lazy or bad people, but in a complex situation.The cycle of self-judgement and the importance of self-compassion as an antidote to shame.Practical advice: Treat oneself with the compassion you’d offer others, challenging negative self-talk.How self-criticism can demotivate and hinder progress.Comparison: Encouraging someone else is more effective than berating oneself.Understanding mistakes, taking responsibility, and making amends when possible.The importance of learning from past experiences and committing to doing better.Practical Strategies for Moving ForwardSuggestions for emotional and action-oriented progress:Journalling or talking to someone about feelings.Looking back with compassion to identify patterns and triggers.Start dehoarding by breaking tasks into small steps.Avoiding perfectionism; celebrating any progress.Reference to "towards and away moves" from episode 182 with Dr. Jan Eppingstall.Identifying values and making choices that align with them.Finding support from therapists, friends, family, support groups, or accountability sessions.Acknowledgement that forgiving oneself is challenging but necessary for progress.Emphasising persistence, compassion, and learning from mistakes.Encouragement and ValidationRecognition of listeners at various stages of their journey - starting, struggling, making progress, or just listening for now.Assurance that small steps count and everyone is doing their best.Emphasis that listeners are not alone. Links Podcast ep 181: Past influences and future possibilities: cause and effect and hoarding disorder (plus Podcasthon)Podcast ep 95: Shame and hoarding with Professor Luna DolezalPodcast ep 182: What are “towards and away moves” and what on earth do they have to do with hoarding recovery? With Dr Jan EppingstallThe Gray Area podcastCome to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking FormWebsite: Overcome Compulsive HoardingBecome a Dehoarding DarlingSubmit a topic for the podcast to coverQuestions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestionsInstagram: @thathoarderpodcastTwitter: @ThatHoarderMastodon: @ThatHoarder@mastodon.onlineTikTok: @thathoarderpodcastFacebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That HoarderPinterest: That HoarderYouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That HoarderReddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subredditHelp out: Support this projectSponsor the podcast Subscribe to the podcast Subscribe to the podcast here
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    38 mins
  • #189 Emotional, practical and motivational scaffolding - what it is and how to get it, with Dr Jan Eppingstall

    #189 Emotional, practical and motivational scaffolding - what it is and how to get it, with Dr Jan Eppingstall
    Jun 6 2025
    This week I’m joined by Dr Jan Eppingstall to talk about scaffolding - what it means, how it helps with hoarding recovery, and why our needs for support change over time. We break down practical, emotional, and motivational scaffolding, from therapy and peer support to self-made systems and the way we talk to ourselves. If you’ve ever wondered how to find the right kind of help without feeling stuck with it forever, this is the episode for you. Buy your copy of Everything You Need to Know About Hoarding by Dr Lynne Drummond at cambridge.org/EverythingHoarding, and get 20% off with the discount code HOARDING20. #ad Explanation of Scaffolding and the Zone of Proximal DevelopmentDefinition of scaffolding from educational psychology.Origins in Lev Vygotsky’s work: helping people accomplish tasks with support.Relevance to hoarding and recovery.Application of Scaffolding to Hoarding RecoveryPsychological, cognitive, and emotional elements in hoarding.Physical and organisational skill deficits in people who hoard.Differences and interplay between psychological barriers and practical skills.Illustrating support levels: from high assistance to independence.Personal examples demonstrating that support needs can resurface over time.The Changing Nature of ScaffoldingScaffolding shifts in form and amount as people progress or encounter setbacks.Individualisation: What’s supportive for one may not be for another.Types of Scaffolding for Hoarding RecoveryExternal supports: therapists, peers, coaches.Direct instruction and physical assistance.Environmental modifications.Tools and resources.Social encouragement and accountability.Assessing current functioning.Matching support to challenge level (not too easy, not too hard).Gradually reducing support as independence grows.Scaffolding for Neurodivergent IndividualsAdjustments for ADHD:Shorter work periods, built-in breaks.Accountability partners and visual reminders/checklists.Adjustments for Autism:Predictable routines.Clear rules and decision trees.Sensory-friendly environments.Executive Function Challenges and Tailored ScaffoldingStrategies like breaking down decisions, using templates, "parking lot" systems for deferred decisions.Recognising that executive function can be context-specific and fluctuate.Importance of Emotional ScaffoldingEmotional regulation during dehoarding.Need for self-soothing and distress-tolerance skills as support is reduced.Informal and Internal ScaffoldingPeer support, self-talk, problem solving, reminders.Adapting systems in the home as a supportive structure.Habituation and Evolvement of Support SystemsReminder fatigue and strategies to combat it (rotating formats, colours, locations).The necessity for systems to evolve as needs and effectiveness change.Mindset Shifts and Realistic ExpectationsAcceptance that supports may need to be re-engaged during crises or setbacks.Not viewing return to scaffolding as failure - progress and healing aren’t linear.Testing assumptions about personal limitations.Re-evaluating and Customising SupportCreating, testing, and modifying practical systems in the home with or without outside perspective.Recognising the value of trying new strategies even if initial skepticism exists. Links Zone of Proximal DevelopmentThe Metaphor of Scaffolding: Its Utility for the Field of Learning Disabilities, Stone, C. Addison, Journal of Learning Disabilities, 0022-2194, July 1, 1998, Vol. 31, Issue 4Podcast ep 183: ADHD, executive dysfunction and creating hacks and systems to reduce clutter chaos, with Carrie LagerstedtMoney Love podcast Podcast ep 127: Overcoming overspending with Paige Pritchard, Money CoachCome to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking FormDr Jan Eppingstall at Stuffologyhttps://www.facebook.com/stuffologyconsulting/https://twitter.com/stuff_ologyhttps://www.instagram.com/stuff_ology/Dr Jan Eppingstall on PinterestWebsite: Overcome Compulsive HoardingBecome a Dehoarding DarlingSubmit a topic for the podcast to coverQuestions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestionsInstagram: @thathoarderpodcastTwitter: @ThatHoarderMastodon: @ThatHoarder@mastodon.onlineTikTok: @thathoarderpodcastFacebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That HoarderPinterest: That HoarderYouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That HoarderReddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subredditHelp out: Support this projectSponsor the podcast Subscribe to the podcast Subscribe to the podcast here
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    34 mins
  • #188 12 ways to make decision-making easier (and why people who hoard find it so hard to make decisions in the first place!)

    #188 12 ways to make decision-making easier (and why people who hoard find it so hard to make decisions in the first place!)
    May 30 2025
    Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticketSubscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribePodcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ Decision-making can be a huge stumbling block when you’re trying to tackle hoarding, from cognitive overload to perfectionism and decision fatigue. In this episode, I unpack why making choices about our belongings feels so overwhelming, what can go wrong if we avoid it, and I share practical strategies to make the process more manageable. If you find yourself stuck in analysis paralysis or endlessly putting off decisions, this one’s for you. Buy your copy of Everything You Need to Know About Hoarding by Dr Lynne Drummond at cambridge.org/EverythingHoarding, and get 20% off with the discount code HOARDING20. #ad Introduction to Decision Making and HoardingDecision making as a common issue among hoardersOverwhelm and avoidance connected to belongings and acquiring new itemsEpisode aims: understanding why decision making is hard, consequences of indecision, and strategies to helpWhy Decision Making is Difficult for People Who HoardCognitive OverloadToo many items to process, making each choice feel monumentalResulting in avoidance and deferral of decisionsAccumulation due to unresolved decisionsAnalysis ParalysisBeing stuck analysing endless options and outcomesDifficulty prioritising and overthinking decisionsExhaustion from mental effortInformation Processing ChallengesTrouble prioritising urgency and importanceStruggling to filter necessary versus unnecessary informationBeing trapped in unresolvable decision loopsEmotional BarriersPerfectionism and fear of making the wrong decisionCatastrophising possible negative outcomesAll-or-nothing thinking relating to perfectionismSentimental AttachmentStruggles with emotional connection to items (gifts, memories)Difficulty discerning genuine sentimental valueFear of the FutureAnxiety about future need or regret causing paralysisPreference for clinging to items over risking discomfortExecutive Function ChallengesDifficulties with planning, organising, prioritising, and initiating tasksImpact of poor working memory on decision makingConsequences of Avoiding DecisionsVicious Cycle of ProcrastinationAccumulation of clutter, increased overwhelm and fatiguePractical ImplicationsSafety hazards and restricted home usageSocial isolation and relationship strain due to inability to hostEmotional ImpactStress, depression, guilt, and shameFinancial ConsequencesExtra spending, buying duplicates, damage or loss of items, missed bills and penaltiesBuilding Negative Self-PerceptionsBelief in inability to decide reinforces avoidanceDeclining self-trust and self-esteemStrategies and Techniques for Improving Decision MakingIdentify Resistance and Mental BlocksQuestioning internal "nope" responsesUnderstanding fears or overwhelming factors behind avoidanceTreat Decisions as ExperimentsLowering pressure by seeing outcomes as learning experiencesAvoiding a pass/fail mindsetMake Micro-DecisionsStarting with low-stakes, emotionally neutral itemsBuilding decision-making confidence ("decision muscle")Utilise Support SystemsSeeking feedback or accountability from friends, family, organisers, or therapistsSense-checking and encouragement from othersClarify Values and PrioritiesAligning decisions with personal goals (e.g., hospitality, functionality, beauty)Using values as a decision compassSet Time LimitsImposing limits per decision to prevent overthinkingAdjusting duration as confidence improvesAccept “Good Enough” DecisionsAllowing for adequacy over perfectionChallenging double standards around self-expectations versus othersReduce Number of ChoicesLimiting possible options (e.g., keep/throw/donate)Pre-determining criteria to streamline choicesReality ChecksProbing feelings of “I might need it” with practical questionsReviewing usage frequency and functionalityIncrease Awareness of AvoidanceNoticing procrastination and avoidance behavioursEvaluating the significance of indecision as a barrierBuild Tolerance for Uncertainty and DiscomfortAccepting that discomfort is part of life, and not deciding brings other difficultiesGradually practicing sitting with uncertaintyPractice Consistency in Decision MakingIncorporating daily decision-making habitsGently challenging avoidance and celebrating each choice madeDecision-making is a learnable, improvable skillThe importance of starting small and practicing imperfect decisionsBuilding self-trust and confidence through repeated practiceEncouragement to challenge avoidance and recognise growth with each decision Links Buy your copy of Everything You Need to Know About Hoarding by Dr Lynne Drummond at cambridge.org/EverythingHoarding, and get 20% off with the discount code HOARDING20.Podcast ep 172: Harriet Impey on clearing out her parents’ very full home, through family ...
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    38 mins
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…It’s too soon to tell. But, until now, I haven’t come across anything that doesn’t feel condescending or patronising, but instead, this really feels like it actually might save me before I lose myself again.
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