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That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding

That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding

By: That Hoarder
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 Hoarding disorder is stigmatised and people who hoard feel vast amounts of shame. This podcast began life as an audio diary, an anonymous outlet for somebody with this weird condition. That Hoarder speaks about her experiences living with compulsive hoarding, she interviews therapists, academics, researchers, children of hoarders, professional organisers and influencers, and she shares insight and tips for others with the problem. Listened to by people who hoard as well as those who love them and those who work with them, Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder aims to shatter the stigma, share the truth and speak openly and honestly to improve lives.© 2023 Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with @ThatHoarder Hygiene & Healthy Living Psychology Psychology & Mental Health
Episodes
  • #189 Emotional, practical and motivational scaffolding - what it is and how to get it, with Dr Jan Eppingstall

    #189 Emotional, practical and motivational scaffolding - what it is and how to get it, with Dr Jan Eppingstall
    Jun 6 2025
    This week I’m joined by Dr Jan Eppingstall to talk about scaffolding - what it means, how it helps with hoarding recovery, and why our needs for support change over time. We break down practical, emotional, and motivational scaffolding, from therapy and peer support to self-made systems and the way we talk to ourselves. If you’ve ever wondered how to find the right kind of help without feeling stuck with it forever, this is the episode for you. Buy your copy of Everything You Need to Know About Hoarding by Dr Lynne Drummond at cambridge.org/EverythingHoarding, and get 20% off with the discount code HOARDING20. #ad Explanation of Scaffolding and the Zone of Proximal DevelopmentDefinition of scaffolding from educational psychology.Origins in Lev Vygotsky’s work: helping people accomplish tasks with support.Relevance to hoarding and recovery.Application of Scaffolding to Hoarding RecoveryPsychological, cognitive, and emotional elements in hoarding.Physical and organisational skill deficits in people who hoard.Differences and interplay between psychological barriers and practical skills.Illustrating support levels: from high assistance to independence.Personal examples demonstrating that support needs can resurface over time.The Changing Nature of ScaffoldingScaffolding shifts in form and amount as people progress or encounter setbacks.Individualisation: What’s supportive for one may not be for another.Types of Scaffolding for Hoarding RecoveryExternal supports: therapists, peers, coaches.Direct instruction and physical assistance.Environmental modifications.Tools and resources.Social encouragement and accountability.Assessing current functioning.Matching support to challenge level (not too easy, not too hard).Gradually reducing support as independence grows.Scaffolding for Neurodivergent IndividualsAdjustments for ADHD:Shorter work periods, built-in breaks.Accountability partners and visual reminders/checklists.Adjustments for Autism:Predictable routines.Clear rules and decision trees.Sensory-friendly environments.Executive Function Challenges and Tailored ScaffoldingStrategies like breaking down decisions, using templates, "parking lot" systems for deferred decisions.Recognising that executive function can be context-specific and fluctuate.Importance of Emotional ScaffoldingEmotional regulation during dehoarding.Need for self-soothing and distress-tolerance skills as support is reduced.Informal and Internal ScaffoldingPeer support, self-talk, problem solving, reminders.Adapting systems in the home as a supportive structure.Habituation and Evolvement of Support SystemsReminder fatigue and strategies to combat it (rotating formats, colours, locations).The necessity for systems to evolve as needs and effectiveness change.Mindset Shifts and Realistic ExpectationsAcceptance that supports may need to be re-engaged during crises or setbacks.Not viewing return to scaffolding as failure - progress and healing aren’t linear.Testing assumptions about personal limitations.Re-evaluating and Customising SupportCreating, testing, and modifying practical systems in the home with or without outside perspective.Recognising the value of trying new strategies even if initial skepticism exists. Links Zone of Proximal DevelopmentThe Metaphor of Scaffolding: Its Utility for the Field of Learning Disabilities, Stone, C. Addison, Journal of Learning Disabilities, 0022-2194, July 1, 1998, Vol. 31, Issue 4Podcast ep 183: ADHD, executive dysfunction and creating hacks and systems to reduce clutter chaos, with Carrie LagerstedtMoney Love podcast Podcast ep 127: Overcoming overspending with Paige Pritchard, Money CoachCome to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking FormDr Jan Eppingstall at Stuffologyhttps://www.facebook.com/stuffologyconsulting/https://twitter.com/stuff_ologyhttps://www.instagram.com/stuff_ology/Dr Jan Eppingstall on PinterestWebsite: Overcome Compulsive HoardingBecome a Dehoarding DarlingSubmit a topic for the podcast to coverQuestions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestionsInstagram: @thathoarderpodcastTwitter: @ThatHoarderMastodon: @ThatHoarder@mastodon.onlineTikTok: @thathoarderpodcastFacebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That HoarderPinterest: That HoarderYouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That HoarderReddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subredditHelp out: Support this projectSponsor the podcast Subscribe to the podcast Subscribe to the podcast here
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    34 mins
  • #188 12 ways to make decision-making easier (and why people who hoard find it so hard to make decisions in the first place!)

    #188 12 ways to make decision-making easier (and why people who hoard find it so hard to make decisions in the first place!)
    May 30 2025
    Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticketSubscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribePodcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ Decision-making can be a huge stumbling block when you’re trying to tackle hoarding, from cognitive overload to perfectionism and decision fatigue. In this episode, I unpack why making choices about our belongings feels so overwhelming, what can go wrong if we avoid it, and I share practical strategies to make the process more manageable. If you find yourself stuck in analysis paralysis or endlessly putting off decisions, this one’s for you. Buy your copy of Everything You Need to Know About Hoarding by Dr Lynne Drummond at cambridge.org/EverythingHoarding, and get 20% off with the discount code HOARDING20. #ad Introduction to Decision Making and HoardingDecision making as a common issue among hoardersOverwhelm and avoidance connected to belongings and acquiring new itemsEpisode aims: understanding why decision making is hard, consequences of indecision, and strategies to helpWhy Decision Making is Difficult for People Who HoardCognitive OverloadToo many items to process, making each choice feel monumentalResulting in avoidance and deferral of decisionsAccumulation due to unresolved decisionsAnalysis ParalysisBeing stuck analysing endless options and outcomesDifficulty prioritising and overthinking decisionsExhaustion from mental effortInformation Processing ChallengesTrouble prioritising urgency and importanceStruggling to filter necessary versus unnecessary informationBeing trapped in unresolvable decision loopsEmotional BarriersPerfectionism and fear of making the wrong decisionCatastrophising possible negative outcomesAll-or-nothing thinking relating to perfectionismSentimental AttachmentStruggles with emotional connection to items (gifts, memories)Difficulty discerning genuine sentimental valueFear of the FutureAnxiety about future need or regret causing paralysisPreference for clinging to items over risking discomfortExecutive Function ChallengesDifficulties with planning, organising, prioritising, and initiating tasksImpact of poor working memory on decision makingConsequences of Avoiding DecisionsVicious Cycle of ProcrastinationAccumulation of clutter, increased overwhelm and fatiguePractical ImplicationsSafety hazards and restricted home usageSocial isolation and relationship strain due to inability to hostEmotional ImpactStress, depression, guilt, and shameFinancial ConsequencesExtra spending, buying duplicates, damage or loss of items, missed bills and penaltiesBuilding Negative Self-PerceptionsBelief in inability to decide reinforces avoidanceDeclining self-trust and self-esteemStrategies and Techniques for Improving Decision MakingIdentify Resistance and Mental BlocksQuestioning internal "nope" responsesUnderstanding fears or overwhelming factors behind avoidanceTreat Decisions as ExperimentsLowering pressure by seeing outcomes as learning experiencesAvoiding a pass/fail mindsetMake Micro-DecisionsStarting with low-stakes, emotionally neutral itemsBuilding decision-making confidence ("decision muscle")Utilise Support SystemsSeeking feedback or accountability from friends, family, organisers, or therapistsSense-checking and encouragement from othersClarify Values and PrioritiesAligning decisions with personal goals (e.g., hospitality, functionality, beauty)Using values as a decision compassSet Time LimitsImposing limits per decision to prevent overthinkingAdjusting duration as confidence improvesAccept “Good Enough” DecisionsAllowing for adequacy over perfectionChallenging double standards around self-expectations versus othersReduce Number of ChoicesLimiting possible options (e.g., keep/throw/donate)Pre-determining criteria to streamline choicesReality ChecksProbing feelings of “I might need it” with practical questionsReviewing usage frequency and functionalityIncrease Awareness of AvoidanceNoticing procrastination and avoidance behavioursEvaluating the significance of indecision as a barrierBuild Tolerance for Uncertainty and DiscomfortAccepting that discomfort is part of life, and not deciding brings other difficultiesGradually practicing sitting with uncertaintyPractice Consistency in Decision MakingIncorporating daily decision-making habitsGently challenging avoidance and celebrating each choice madeDecision-making is a learnable, improvable skillThe importance of starting small and practicing imperfect decisionsBuilding self-trust and confidence through repeated practiceEncouragement to challenge avoidance and recognise growth with each decision Links Buy your copy of Everything You Need to Know About Hoarding by Dr Lynne Drummond at cambridge.org/EverythingHoarding, and get 20% off with the discount code HOARDING20.Podcast ep 172: Harriet Impey on clearing out her parents’ very full home, through family ...
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    38 mins
  • #187 What if we focused less on self-care and more on self-nurture to progress our hoarding recovery?

    #187 What if we focused less on self-care and more on self-nurture to progress our hoarding recovery?
    May 23 2025
    Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticketSubscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribePodcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ Self-care gets a lot of airtime these days, but I’ve started rethinking what it actually means, especially when you’re struggling with hoarding disorder. In this episode, I talk about why marketed, consumer-driven “self-care” just adds more pressure, and why nurturing yourself with compassion, connection, and practical routines is far more effective. Plus, I share some genuinely helpful, low-cost ways to support yourself without adding to the clutter - or your to-do list. Self-Care in Modern TimesEvolution of the meaning of “self-care”:The older, practical definition (basic hygiene, nourishment)Current consumer-driven, extravagant interpretationsCritique of modern self-care commercialisationChallenges of Hoarding and Mental Health StrugglesEmotional toll of hoarding disorderStress, anxiety, depression, trauma, griefThe exhausting process of trying to “fix” thingsDaily stressors of living in a hoardFeelings of failure, constant reminders, adrenaline spikes from unexpected visitors, tripping over itemsThe Real Purpose of Self-CareBalancing negative emotions (stress, grief, trauma) with activities that nurture the soulEvaluating popular self-care adviceThe problem with universal, commercialised recommendationsImportance of individualised, inward-looking approachesIntroducing the Concept of "Self-Nurture"How self-nurture differs from self-careGreater compassion, sustainability, and personalisationEmphasis on looking inwards for individual needsPractical examples of self-nurturing activitiesThe Pitfalls of Commercialised Self-CareThe “shoulds” culture and guilt surrounding unmet self-care standardsSurface-level versus meaningful acts of careHow marketed solutions often do not address real needsGuilt and shame when unable to practice recommended self-care (especially for those who hoard)Consumer Culture and Self-CareSelf-care as a commodified experience: Encouragement to buy unnecessary productsHow this affects people who hoardRisk of exacerbating clutter by acquiring more as “self-care”Focus on external fixes rather than internal wellbeingThe Benefits of Self-NurtureSelf-nurture as inexpensive or freeFocus on activities rather than acquisitionsFinding joy or restoration in simple practices (e.g., using what you have, accessing the library, running without specialised gear)Compassionate Self-Nurture in PracticeAsking internal questions about core needs (physical, emotional, psychological)Treating oneself as one would treat a person they loveEmphasis on gentle, non-critical, incremental progressDrinking water for wellbeing rather than obligationTime in nature, connecting with friends, creativity, self-acceptanceBuilding Emotional Security and GentlenessEstablishing emotional security as a core needManaging self-criticism and reaching out for connection despite anxietyCelebration of small wins and progressValidating and acknowledging difficult feelings with compassionEvaluating and Choosing Nurturing ActivitiesKey questions to ask: “Will this nurture me emotionally, psychologically, or physically?”Differentiating between genuine needs and justifying unnecessary purchasesAvoidance of reinforcing negative patterns through acquisitionDeveloping a Personal Toolbox for Self-NurtureGathering and customising strategies that workRoutines and coping mechanismsTaking stock of helpful techniques, personalising approachesRecognising and valuing unique sources of restorationTop TipDIY, low-cost tip for cleaning the dishwasher with household itemsEncouragement to take any step, however small, towards self-nurture Links The "feeling your feelings" episodeEpisodes talking about the inner critic: with Steve Chapman; about the song that changed everything for me; and about making mistakesCome to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking FormWebsite: Overcome Compulsive HoardingBecome a Dehoarding DarlingSubmit a topic for the podcast to coverQuestions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestionsInstagram: @thathoarderpodcastTwitter: @ThatHoarderMastodon: @ThatHoarder@mastodon.onlineTikTok: @thathoarderpodcastFacebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That HoarderPinterest: That HoarderYouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That HoarderReddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subredditHelp out: Support this projectSponsor the podcast
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    37 mins
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…It’s too soon to tell. But, until now, I haven’t come across anything that doesn’t feel condescending or patronising, but instead, this really feels like it actually might save me before I lose myself again.
Thank you

Could I be saved??

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