Have you ever gone all-in on a dream? For Janine and Isadora, it wasn’t a choice to commit to the acting dream, but a deep knowing that acting was the only profession they were cut out to do. When bipolar disorder would take Janine to terrible lows, the idea that she could still be an actress gave her hope and comfort every time she was discharged from the psych ward. And when the world told her that she had to put the dream aside to improve her mental health, she refused to listen. When Isadora graduated from Juilliard, her identity as a performer had taken root. Her training proved she was an actor, one of the top young actresses in the country. But the logistics of fighting for a dream were nearly impossible. Negotiating with bosses to run out on auditions, and being ready to do a show at the drop of a hat, made her flexible escort schedule the best fit for a big dream.

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Isadora O’Boto (co-host) is a Juilliard Drama grad. Under the pen name Sephe Haven, she is the author of two award-winning memoirs: My Whorizontal Life and A Someday Courtesan, and playwright/performer of the solo show: “My Whorizontal Life: The Show!” that premiered and was filmed in Chicago at The Greenhouse Theater. Isadora performed in stand-up and storytelling shows throughout Los Angeles and co-hosted the podcast My Index to Sex with Lynn Ferguson. Her writing transports readers into the secret world of modern-day escorts, where Isadora was a professional in the art of love and pleasure, and the nation's former #1 Courtesan. Currently, she’s writing the sequels to her memoir series and a limited TV series based on her play. Find her at: isadoraoboto.com

Janine Noel (co-host) is creator and host of Bipolar She podcast, where guests share mental health stories to reduce our fears and normalize illness. With an MFA in creative writing from Saint Mary's College of California, she is an editor and story consultant, helping others write down and speak up about the hard stuff. In between bumpy bipolar years, Janine has found time to act, produce, write and now is a dedicated advo...

For Isadora and Janine, their first stage was their living room rug. At age seven, Isadora was writing stories and dreaming of living inside them. By age eight. Janine was obsessed with Annie and had Broadway dreams. Coming from families that didn’t know how actors became actors, both configured loose game plans as undergrads to get closer to careers. When Isadora’s acceptance to Juilliard makes her mother worry about the financial toll, her insight allows her to press on. It wasn’t movie star dreams but a true love of the craft that anchored them both, for a while.

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Financial pressure after graduating from prestigious Juilliard with an acting degree pushed Isadora from juggling multiple jobs to an interview to be an escort. Isadora walks through her first days while she tries to reconcile her identity with financial survival. As Isadora sees the sex work industry more clearly, she understands what it can offer in concrete terms: time, stability and a sense of control. Her resilience is far from moral collapse and rather a savvy strategy to stay afloat.

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By the end of freshman year, Janine’s persistent depression worsens into insomnia, loss of appetite, distorted thinking, and mania. Not yet diagnosed with bipolar disorder, Janine pursues her drama degree, deeply clinging to the belief that being a successful actress will cure her mind. Instead, she deteriorates into psychosis and feels compelled to perform for an invisible “master camera” in which she is the main character, continuously being watched. With antidepressant medication starts and stops, and frightening therapy, Janine soon has suicidal ideation. She calls the police, on herself. This episode focuses on warning signs, support, and how a hospitalization and family silence planted the seed of stigma and shame.

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Janine has bipolar disorder and has been hospitalized seven times. Isadora spent most of her adult life as a professional escort and even became the “number one” escort in the U.S. Janine (Nutty) and Isadora (Slutty) became fast friends in a writing class when they discovered they had both been living on the fringe. With bipolar disorder, Janine felt like she had to hide the reality of living with mental illness — psychiatric hospitalizations, antipsychotic medications — and to pass as just another happy blonde. Isadora dishes up the practical realities of sex work — client screening, logistics, safety planning, boundaries and emotional strain. This episode challenges stereotypes about mental illness and sex work by replacing assumptions with specific, lived experiences. For Isadora and Janine, friendship and trust give them the strength to reveal the secrets that took over their lives.

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