As the homeland goes to war once again, we pick over the state of the union and find it ... totally great, no problems, all good. Cheap eggs, too.

Really though, your hosts Matt and Mike play a quick game of two truths and a lie, and provide an urgent update for those of you with more than one passport.

Plus, is half of Royal Mail really stool and urine samples? We investigate. Because let's face it, nobody else is going to.

Get in touch: colddarkmiserablepod@gmail.com

Today we're on a journey from Chicago to LA, via Indiana and New York, but as we know, all roads lead to ... Yorkshire.

Actor, Windy City native and improv scene veteran Derek Miller tells us about winning money off of Green Day, finding love on the high seas, Tim Burton's strangely normal affect and how he ended up being the only American in the village.

Derek shares his thoughts on the UK comedy scene and how he landed a gig playing himself on current affairs television.

Plus in news corner we ask why the Epstein scandal is claiming scalps in Britain but seems to have left all the powerful people back home completely untouched. Weird, huh?

We're making a list of who we should have on next. Get in touch: colddarkmiserablepod@gmail.com

And read more about Derek here: https://www.imdb.com/name/nm2479885/bio/

Was our good friend Tom Cruise forced from London by a smash-and-grab robbery, the relentless rain, or anti-Scientology villagers?

Matt and Mike take on an impossible mission: decoding the sourcing in a story that has enthralled the tabloid press.

In other news, we find that a Proud Boy punk plans to tour the UK later this month.

Plus practical updates: on Indefinite Leave to Remain, which banks actually accept American customers, and what are the British equivalents of Venmo, Craigslist and Depop?

Finally, should the politics be confined to our theme tune? Let us know: colddarkmiserablepod@gmail.com

Read more on the Misfit Proud Boy: https://thedayofreckoning.substack.com/p/exclusive-proud-boy-punk-who-was

And on Tom Cruise: https://www.standard.co.uk/news/london/met-police-tom-cruise-knightsbridge-flat-rolex-robbery-london-b1269206.html