Season 1, Episode 12 - The Problem Was Never You

Episode Description

Welcome back to Left Unattended with Ron Sosa, where we explore neurodivergence, identity inclusion, and the quiet systems that need disrupting. In this episode, we sit down with Dr. Jodi Wilson, an autism researcher and speaker, who shares her powerful experiences navigating the world as a neurodivergent individual. This conversation dives into the challenges faced in the workplace, the emotional toll of chronic masking, and the critical role of curiosity in fostering inclusion. If you've ever felt out of place in a world that wasn’t built with you in mind, Dr. Wilson’s insights are bound to resonate deeply.

What We Cover

- How neurodivergent individuals are often labeled as 'the problem' and why that perspective needs disrupting

- What chronic masking does to your mental health and why it's different from typical burnout

- Why curiosity is a powerful tool for bridging communication gaps between neurodivergent and neurotypical people

- How Dr. Jodi Wilson's personal journey in veterinary medicine underscores these systemic issues

- The role of cultural humility in communication and how a lack of it led to being "kidnapped" by Turkish sailors

Key Takeaway

Neurodivergence isn't the problem; the systems and norms that exclude us are. By rethinking these systems and using curiosity as a tool for inclusion, we can begin to rebuild environments that recognize and value diverse ways of thinking and being.

The Shift in Practice

When facing challenges as a neurodivergent individual, try this approach:

1. Identify and acknowledge situations where you feel labeled or out of place.
2. Reflect on your needs and communicate them — create a dialogue that fosters understanding rather than judgment.
3. Practice curiosity over judgment in your interactions, transforming potential conflicts into opportunities for growth.

Who This Episode Is For

This episode is for anyone who has felt out of sync in a neurotypical world, particularly neurodivergent individuals seeking validation and allies who wish to understand the challenges of masking, burnout, and the need for systemic change.

Connect

If this conversation struck a chord and you want to explore how you can lead more inclusively, subscribe to Ron’s newsletter at www.syn-apt.me/newsletter. To dive deeper into coaching with Ron, visit coaching.syn-apt.me. Explore more about Dr. Jodi Wilson’s work on neuro inclusion by checking the show notes. Enjoyed the episode? Follow the podcast and leave a review to help others find these important conversations. Remember, belonging isn't a luxury — it’s a leadership strategy.

Episode summary This solo episode is heavier, more personal, and intentionally slower. Ron explores masking, what chronic masking does to identity over time, and how it can quietly lead to an exhaustion that looks like depression but feels more existential. He names the constant translation many neurodivergent people live in, the grief that comes with realizing how long you’ve been performing, and the lonely, non-linear process of unmasking. This episode is a compassionate mirror for anyone who has hit capacity and can’t try harder their way out of it.

What you’ll hear in this episode • Why masking often isn’t a conscious decision, it’s a survival adaptation learned early • The Mac running Windows metaphor and what constant translation does to your nervous system • The hidden labor of performing: eye contact cadence, facial expression monitoring, suppressing stims, enduring sensory pain • Bone deep, soul level exhaustion: when the work wasn’t physically demanding, but you collapse anyway • Identity erosion: when you can’t tell what’s authentic anymore versus what’s performed • The scary questions: Do I actually like this? Do I actually like these people? Is this life mine? • The daily masking cycle: calculations, scripts, appropriate responses, and ending the day depleted • What happens when your nervous system finally says no and you can’t sustain the mask anymore • Why masking burnout doesn’t rest away: the exhaustion isn’t physical, it’s existential • The unmasking anger: volcanic grief and righteous anger as a sign your system is waking up • Small ways unmasking begins: movement, stimming, saying no, naming sensory needs, honesty about small talk • The loneliness of unmasking: losing relationships built on performance and grieving what wasn’t authentic • Psychological safety vs safety in general: when it’s not safe to unmask, and choosing adaptation strategically • Reclaiming yourself through noticing: what energizes you, what feels like home, what you were allowed to suppress • A reframed truth: hitting the wall is not failure, it’s information and a signal you deserve better • The closing invitation: you don’t have to do anything right now, let it sit, be gentle, this is soul work

Notable quotes • You’re rewiring your entire operating system to run on someone else’s code. • You’ve been running on a constant translation program in your brain. • You start to lose track of what is authentic and what is a mask. • Unmasking isn’t about discovering who you are. It’s about grieving who you thought you had to be. • Burnout from chronic masking isn’t something you can just rest away. The exhaustion isn’t physical, it’s existential. • You didn’t fail. You didn’t break. You’ve reached capacity.

Key takeaways

1. Masking can create real success externally while quietly draining identity and capacity internally.
2. Chronic masking exhaustion often gets mislabeled as laziness, anxiety, or depression when it’s actually nervous system overload.
3. Identity erosion is real: if you perform long enough, you can lose access to your preferences, needs, and yes.
4. Unmasking is messy and non-linear. Sometimes you unmask and feel free. Sometimes you feel exposed. Both are part of it.
5. The anger that comes with unmasking isn’t a problem to fix. It’s information, grief, and a step toward reclaiming self.
6. Hitting a wall is not failure. It’s a signal that the path you’ve been walking isn’t sustainable for your brain.

Listener reflection prompts • Where in your life are you translating yourself to be palatable, even when no one asked you to? • What do you do because it’s expected, not because it’s true for you? • What would change if you treated your exhaustion as information instead of a character flaw? • When do you feel most like yourself, even in tiny moments? • If unmasking feels unsafe in some spaces, what’s one space where it might be safe to soften the performance by 5%?

Closing message If this episode stirred something up, you don’t have to fix it today. Let it sit. Let yourself feel what comes up. If you’re in the thick of burnout or realizing how long you’ve been masking, be gentle with yourself. This is hard work. This is soul work.

Resources • Ron’s workbook: What’s Left Unattended https://www.syn-apt.me/playbook - Free discovery call with Ron: https://www.syn-apt.me/coaching-schedule - Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/ronald-sosa-cvpm-ccfp-pgd-cld-53453797

This episode explores something a little different. Instead of a traditional neurodivergence story, Ron sits down with Susan Bloom, a Master Equine Gestalt Coach who partners with horses to help people process trauma, grief, burnout, and identity shifts.

Susan shares how her journey as a caregiver for her husband during his battle with a rare autoimmune disease ultimately led her into equine Gestalt work. Together, Ron and Susan unpack how horses act as nervous system mirrors, how trauma can live in the body long after the event has passed, and why medical professionals, especially veterinarians and physicians, may benefit deeply from embodied, trauma-informed work.

This conversation bridges neurodivergence, burnout, grief, boundaries, and the human-animal bond in a way that feels grounding and expansive.

• What Gestalt means and how it centers wholeness rather than fixing • How Susan’s caregiving journey shaped her work with trauma and burnout • Why medical professionals often intellectualize instead of inhabit their bodies • How horses mirror nervous system states and emotional shifts • The round pen exercises that reveal subconscious patterns • A powerful story of a woman whose body rejected her home environment • How horses help clients find boundaries without force • Grounding techniques used in equine Gestalt work • Why burnout in the good ones is often trauma-based • The difference between performance and embodiment • How small human moments from doctors reduce emotional distance • Why connection reduces burnout for both practitioner and client

• A horse physically removing a house boundary to symbolize needed change • A pony responding to third-grade math trauma before the client consciously processed it • The idea that horses vibrate at a higher energetic frequency and help regulate humans • Ron’s reflection on how veterinarians set impossible standards for themselves • A conversation about preserving the human-animal bond over rigid medical perfection • The reminder that doctors and veterinarians don’t need to be superhuman to be respected

1. Trauma often lives in the body, not just in narrative memory.
2. Intellectual professions can disconnect practitioners from embodied awareness.
3. Burnout may be rooted in unresolved emotional load, not just workload.
4. Horses respond to authenticity, not performance.
5. Connection, not perfection, sustains healing professions.
6. Being human with patients or clients builds trust more than authority alone.

Susan Bloom is a Master Equine Gestalt Coach and founder of Connection & Synergy. She partners with horses to help clients process trauma, grief, caregiver fatigue, and burnout. Her work includes individual sessions and small group retreats designed to create safe, embodied healing environments.

She is located approximately one hour from Kansas City and offers immersive retreat experiences on her ranch.

Website: connectionandsynergy.com Facebook: Connection & Synergy LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/susanbloom-connectionandsynergy/

If this episode resonated with you, especially if you’re a veterinarian, medical professional, or neurodivergent leader navigating burnout:

• Join the Left Unattended Newsletter: https://www.syn-apt.me/newsletter • Explore 1:1 or group coaching: https://www.syn-apt.me/coaching-schedule • Connect with Ron on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ronald-sosa-cvpm-ccfp-pgd-cld-53453797/

In this episode, Ron sits down with Jessica Poli, an LVT turned regional leader who was diagnosed with ADHD in adulthood. Together, they unpack what a late diagnosis changes, how ADHD shows up in real leadership work, and why “productivity” is often a misleading label for what’s actually sensory load, executive function friction, and constant context switching. Jessica shares how she rebuilt her calendar around her brain, why clear expectations are not the same as a job description, and how psychological safety plus autonomy can transform a team’s trust and performance.

What you’ll hear in this episode • Jessica’s path from technician to management to regional leadership (and why “no two days are the same” matters) • Late diagnosis insights: hyperfixation, energy crashes, and the hidden cost of mundane tasks • Calendar design for an ADHD brain: slow mornings, meeting prep, buffer time, and strategic blocks • Cognitive load: why exhaustion isn’t always about the work, it’s about working against your nervous system • Leadership masking and the “different versions of me” required in different rooms • A real moment of authenticity: “This sucks… let’s struggle bus together” and what it did for trust • Psychological safety vs psychological autonomy: letting people pause, step away, or hang up mid call without fear • Executive function in clinic life: the checklist system, losing your place, and why “helping” can backfire • Moral and ethical sensitivity as a drain: when you can tolerate a hard job, but not unethical treatment of people • Sensory regulation and focus: silence vs chaos, and why both can be true depending on the moment • Clarity needs: why “expectations” questions get misunderstood and how leadership can miss the nuance • Strengths: hyperfocus, drive, survival mode momentum, and why neurodivergence can be a real advantage • Jessica’s “flavor” of neurodivergence: she’s more approachable than she looks when she’s locked in thought • 2026 intention: balance, reconnection, and supporting colleagues doing big things

Notable quotes • “I can hyperfixate on one project and get it done in a day, but the mundane tasks… I just can’t.” • “Restructuring my calendar in a way that works for my brain has been huge.” • “This isn’t fun… let’s struggle bus together. I don’t know everything. You don’t know everything.” • “I might not see the red flag today, but I hold onto it until the next one.” • “I’m more approachable than I seem. Sometimes I’m just lost in thought.”

Key takeaways

1. A late diagnosis often turns “personality flaws” into patterns you can actually design around.
2. The calendar isn’t a time tool, it’s a nervous system tool. Buffers are not indulgent, they’re functional.
3. Psychological safety helps people speak up. Psychological autonomy lets them pause, reset, and protect capacity.
4. Clear expectations are not the job description. Leaders need to articulate the “how” and “what good looks like.”
5. Sensory needs can flip depending on the task. Silence and chaos can both be regulation, context matters.
6. When ethics are violated, it’s not just stress, it’s identity strain. That’s a different kind of burnout.

Resources mentioned • Ron’s workbook: What’s Left Unattended https://www.syn-apt.me/playbook

Connect with Jessica • Find Jessica on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/polijessicalvt/

Welcome back to Left Unattended! I am your host, Ron Sosa. In this solo episode, I guide you through the transformative practice of self-questioning. You might notice something different today—it's just me. For the first few episodes, I had the incredible opportunity to have conversations with guests about their stories and struggles. While I love those conversations, I realized some of the best discussions are the ones I have with myself.

Together we’ll unpack:

• The power of self-questioning: I explore how asking myself the right questions leads to profound insights.
• Avoidance and discomfort: We’ll dig deep into what we're avoiding and why.
• Patterns in life: I identify recurring problems and explore what they might be offering us.
• Failure and risk: We talk about understanding what’s worth doing even if we might fail.
• Open-ended questions: I discuss living with questions that don’t have immediate answers but invite ongoing exploration.

This episode serves as an invitation for you to spend time with the uncomfortable questions you’ve been avoiding. By modeling this process, I hope to inspire you to ask the real questions and find your own path to self-discovery. Until next time, stay curious and keep exploring!

Unveiling the Realities of Neurodivergence with Tabitha Kucera

Welcome back to Left Unattended, the podcast where we pull back the curtain on what it really means to be neurodivergent in the workplace. I’m your host, Ron Sosa, neuroinclusive leadership coach and advocate. In this episode, I talk with Tabitha Kucera, an elite Fear Free and low-stress handling certified registered veterinary technician, veterinary technician specialist in behavior, certified cat behavior consultant, and a Karen Pryor Academy certified training partner. As the founder of Chirps and Chatter and an animal behavior technician at the Gentle Vet in Ohio, Tabitha brings a wealth of experience to our discussion.

Together, we unpack:

- Tabitha's background, from growing up in East Cleveland surrounded by stray animals to becoming a leader in veterinary behavior.

- The complexities and challenges neurodivergent individuals face in the veterinary field.

- The importance of understanding clients' backgrounds and contexts to improve compliance and animal care.

- How Tabitha's journey through different roles in vet med has helped her develop a unique approach to behavior consulting and organizational consulting with shelters and clinics.

- The impact of language and labels in shaping our understanding of neurodivergence and why Tabitha prefers not to use the term neurodivergent.

- The role of music and nature as therapeutic tools for managing mental health and maintaining balance.

- Practical tips for embracing one's neurodivergence, finding personal fulfillment, and navigating the highs and lows of both the veterinary profession and life.

Tabitha leaves us with the reminder that most people are good, and it's essential to find what works for you individually, leaning into your unique strengths and experiences.

Welcome back to Left Unattended, the podcast where we pull back the curtain on what it really means to be neurodivergent in the workplace. I’m your host, Ron Sosa, neuroinclusive leadership coach and advocate and in this episode, I talk with Debra Hamilton of Hamilton Law and Mediation. Debra Hamilton is an attorney, mediator, and conflict consultant with specialized expertise in animal-related disputes. Her unique professional background combines legal expertise in animal law matters, advanced mediation, and conflict resolution skills, with a deep understanding of the human-animal bond.

Together, we unpack:

• Debra's journey: How her neurodivergence influenced her shift from litigation to mediation and her niche in animal-related conflicts.
• Challenges in learning: The strategies Debra used to navigate her educational and professional life, including her discovery of the limitations of traditional litigation for her neurodivergent needs.
• Mediation vs. Litigation: Why mediation serves both Deb and her clients better, focusing on collaboration and understanding rather than adversarial approaches.
• Human-animal bond: How animals play a crucial role in Debra's life and work, providing grounding and perspective.
• Communication tools: The importance of curious questions and non-verbal cues in mediation, particularly in high-emotion situations.
• The impact of conflict: The importance of understanding and mitigating the stress on animals and their owners during disputes.
• Personal stories and pivotal moments: Debra shares memorable cases and personal experiences that shaped her career and approach to conflict resolution.

Debra leaves us with one truth she wishes people understood: “I am thoughtful in my responses and passionate about my work. If my response isn’t what you anticipated, ask me a curious question. It helps me explain better and serve you more effectively.”

Welcome back to Left Unattended, the podcast where we pull back the curtain on what it really means to be neurodivergent in the workplace. I’m your host, Ron Sosa, neuroinclusive leadership coach and advocate, and today I’m joined by Dr. Alex Harrison.

Alex is a profoundly deaf veterinarian, consultant, and founder of an equity-focused consultancy dedicated to building veterinary workplaces where everyone belongs. He is the 2025 Australian Veterinary Association President’s Award recipient, recognized for shifting the Overton window of what the profession sees as possible in equity, accessibility, and inclusion.

Together, we dive into:

• Alex’s journey as Australia’s first profoundly deaf veterinary graduate and what it meant to practice without disability representation or support 25 years ago.
• How burnout and cognitive load impact marginalized professionals, especially when masking or “passing” becomes a full-time job.
• Why intersectionality matters and how collaboration across disability, neurodivergence, chronic illness, and queer identity creates stronger advocacy.
• The power and danger of the hidden curriculum in veterinary training and workplaces, and why unlearning outdated norms is essential for retention.
• How strengths-based design outperforms deficit-based thinking and outdated expectations of “omnicompetent clinicians.”
• The need for systems-level change instead of individualized “self-care fixes,” especially when mental health struggles stem from structural issues.
• Why diagnosis delays, especially for neurodivergent women, are reshaping the mental health narrative in the profession.
• How curiosity, cultural humility, and repair can transform leadership and create psychologically safe veterinary teams.

Alex leaves us with one truth he wants the world to understand: We cannot solve these challenges in silos. Unlearning, humility, and cross-pollination across identities and across countries are how we move the profession forward.

• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alex-harrison-263b69107/
• Equity consulting: www.vetquity.com.au

If this conversation resonated with you, let’s go deeper together:

• Join the Left Unattended Newsletter: weekly insights on neuroinclusive leadership and thriving as your full self → https://www.syn-apt.me/newsletter
• Work with Me 1:1 or in Groups: learn more about coaching → coaching.syn-apt.me
• Connect with Me on LinkedIn: join the conversation on neuroinclusive leadership → www.linkedin.com/in/ronald-sosa-cvpm-ccfp-pgd-cld-53453797