Episode Summary

Here's the paradox I see constantly: A leader's role becomes uncertain. And what does that leader do? They work harder.

More projects. Longer hours. Yes to everything. They're exhausted, overwhelmed, and burning out—but they keep performing. Because if they can just prove their value, maybe they'll be safe.

Except the harder they perform, the more unsustainable it becomes. It's a trap. And if you're in it right now, you probably know it—but you don't know how to stop.

This episode unpacks why successful leaders double down on performance during transitions, what the research says about the addictive nature of the validation cycle, and how to start untangling your worth from your output.

Resources Mentioned

• Emily and Amelia Nagoski, Burnout

• Carol Dweck, Mindset

• Brené Brown, Atlas of the Heart

• Adam Grant, Think Again

This Week's Reflection Activity:

Download the Performance Inventory Worksheet

CONNECT WITH JESSICA

If you need support navigating financial anxiety and making strategic decisions under pressure, visit Asbatra.comto explore one-on-one coaching. We separate fear from facts, identify what actually creates security for you, and build strategic plans that give you runway without compromising what matters. It's for people who want to make financial decisions from strategy, not panic.

Website: www.asbatra.com

Substack: https://asbatracoaching.substack.com/ - Join the community for deeper discussions and downloadable worksheets

Leave feedback: Use the thumbs up/down button in your podcast app or comment on Substack

EPISODE CREDITS

Host & Producer: Asbatra Coaching

Episode Length: 31 minutes

Episode Summary

Three weeks. That's how long a highly competent executive spent deciding whether to apply for a new role. Not because she lacked information—she had plenty. She couldn't decide because the decision felt like it was defining who she was becoming.

This episode tackles why smart, capable people suddenly can't make decisions during transitions—and why "just decide already" is useless advice.

We'll dig into the difference between decision fatigue and decision avoidance, what the research actually says about why your brain freezes when stakes feel high, and why you're probably waiting for certainty that will never arrive. Then we'll flip the script entirely: instead of trying to make the "right" decision, you'll learn how to design a 30-day experiment.

Resources Mentioned

• Sheena Iyengar, The Art of Choosing

• Dr. Maya Shankar on uncertainty and the brain

• Daniel Kahneman, Thinking Fast and Slow

• William Bridges, Transitions

This Week's Reflection Activity

Download the Decision Archaeology Worksheet

CONNECT WITH JESSICA

If you need support navigating financial anxiety and making strategic decisions under pressure, visit Asbatra.comto explore one-on-one coaching. We separate fear from facts, identify what actually creates security for you, and build strategic plans that give you runway without compromising what matters. It's for people who want to make financial decisions from strategy, not panic.

Website: www.asbatra.com

Substack: https://asbatracoaching.substack.com/ - Join the community for deeper discussions and downloadable worksheets

Leave feedback: Use the thumbs up/down button in your podcast app or comment on Substack

EPISODE CREDITS

Host & Producer: Asbatra Coaching

Episode Length: 30 minutes

"So, what do you do?"

I was at a dinner party two years into my transition out of law enforcement when someone asked me that question. And I froze. Not because I didn't have an answer—I had plenty. I froze because for the first time in 25 years, I didn't lead with my title. And without it, I wasn't entirely sure who I was.

This episode is about the identity crisis nobody warns you about: what happens when the professional shorthand you've used for decades suddenly doesn't fit anymore. We'll dig into why your brain is wired to resist this shift, why you can't think your way into a new identity (you have to live your way into it), and how to start separating who you are from what you do.

Asbatra Worksheet: Identity Inventory

Resources and Research:

1. Dr. Maya Shankar, A Slight Change of Plans (podcast on identity and change)
2. Herminia Ibarra, Working Identity, www.herminiaibarra.com
3. Erik Erikson's identity development theory, which you can read more about here: Maehler, D. B., & Hernández-Torrano, D. (2025). Identity development research: a systematic review of reviews. Self and Identity, 24(8), 907–942. https://doi.org/10.1080/15298868.2025.2549770

Mentioned in this episode:

About Leading in Balance