Many people have discovered at some point that they often want to be the center of attention, feel offended easily, or need constant praise. These are narcissistic patterns – not as an insult, but as traits that can show you where to focus your growth. Imagine these behaviors as signals pointing to deeper feelings inside you. Carl Jung said, “Everything that irritates you about others can lead you to an understanding of yourself.” If someone else’s need to always be right drives you crazy, it might be reflecting something in you. Use these signs to begin noticing your own “shadow” – the parts of yourself you haven’t fully seen or accepted. This journey starts with self-awareness, not blame.

The Swiss psychiatrist Carl Gustav Jung once said, "I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become." This idea is at the heart of a widespread but often overlooked behavior: the constant urge to explain oneself.

On the surface, justifying one's decisions, feelings, or moods seems polite. But Jung saw it as a deep psychological problem—a symptom of disconnection from ourselves. According to Jung, those who constantly explain themselves are unconsciously seeking the permission to exist that they never received in the past, often in childhood. In environments where feelings were dismissed as "exaggerated" or "nonsense," a person learns that their inner reality is valid only if others understand and accept it.

This compulsion to justify is an attempt to avoid rejection and judgment. But the price is high: the loss of one's own psychological autonomy. Instead of acting from inner conviction, one acts merely to avoid being misunderstood. You live for the approval of others, betraying your own truth piece by piece. Jung called this state self-abandonment.

The path to freedom lies in developing what Jung called "inner authority." This means recognizing your own experience as valid, regardless of whether others understand it or not. It's about having the courage to stand by your truth, even when it's uncomfortable or meets with incomprehension.

When you stop constantly explaining yourself, something powerful happens. You send out a new message: "I know who I am, and I don't need permission for it." This silence is not an absence but a presence. It breaks old patterns in relationships. Superficial or manipulative connections fall apart because you no longer play the submissive role. Genuine, respect-based relationships are strengthened.

Ultimately, everything changes when you stop explaining yourself. You give up the search for external validation and instead find inner strength and integrity. You are no longer perceived as someone asking for acceptance, but as someone who confidently takes their place in the world. The world begins to respect what you yourself no longer negotiate.

The attachment theory argues that a strong emotional and physical bond to one primary caregiver in our first years of life is critical to our development. If our bonding is strong and we are securely attached, then we feel safe to explore the world. If our bond is weak, we feel insecurely attached. We are afraid to leave or explore a rather scary-looking world. Because we are not sure if we can return. Often we then don't understand our own feelings.

Image: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Bowlby

Taken from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjOowWxOXCg